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nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-bar-ll-to-actn" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-bar-ll-to-actn"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--cm-riser" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--cm-riser"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><div class="StickyHeroAdWrapper-eNLJUc gStsdY ad-stickyhero ad-stickyhero--standard ad-stickyhero-enable-mobile should-hold-space"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--hero"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--hero" data-no-id="e1sw5n"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs gXpOkR ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp kjLxCB"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT hsydfY"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">I COULDN’T HELP BUT WONDER ...</span></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bwDymH isouMH">What Is an Acceptable Age Gap Between Partners?</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB eDhhwT ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH uMYIE byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd hHRAkO haUSoQ eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/tom-rasmsen">Tom Rasmsen</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2023-01-04T12:32:54-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd eNpMLJ jDQNvc">January 4, 2023</time></div></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi gFUfKO lead-asset__ntent__clip"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div class="RponsiveClipWrapper-dQfRVo dIOQex rponsive-clip ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm" data-ttid="RponsiveClipWrapper"><div data-ttid="RponsiveClipVioContaer" class="RponsiveClipVioContaer-kIIuch hxZLNB"><button aria-label="Play/Pse" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ cRxydS btWLCr button button--utily RponsiveClipPlayPseButton-ffdjqP eWXJbq rponsive-clip__play-pse" 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class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU dPbgNk bookmark large-screen"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-stroke" d="M11.7661 16.3228L4.5 20.1695V3.5H19.5V20.1695L12.2339 16.3228L12 16.199L11.7661 16.3228Z" stroke-lep="square"/></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd fcKlBk gkccfO">Save</span></button></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh fOiOQm viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU gdCxmM bookmark mobile"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-stroke" d="M11.7661 16.3228L4.5 20.1695V3.5H19.5V20.1695L12.2339 16.3228L12 16.199L11.7661 16.3228Z" stroke-lep="square"/></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd fcKlBk gkccfO">Save</span></button></div></div></div><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>It’s an age-old qutn. It’s a bate that I’ve seen divi dner tabl of betiful left-wg sex-posive smokers. It’s a qutn—not surprisg, given the general premise of this <a href=">lumn</a>— taken up by Carrie and pany as they vtigate the latt dg of choice the New York datg scene season one of <em>Sex and the Cy:</em> younger men. Ined, the age-gap relatnship is a scenar we’ve all seen play out terribly, seen work betifully, and judged harshly om afar. And the thg that divis, creat disaster, and spir judgment is not simply a difference number—’s a difference power. </p><p>Now there’s a general le that always starts this game. The equatn, of urse: Half your age then add seven to work out if someone is too young for you to date; take seven off your age then double to work out if someone is too old for you to date. The problem is that where love, sex, and romance are ncerned, an equatn n’t always provi you wh the answer. Dire and attractn are not the same as basic math. </p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>Many would argue for the legal le: that if all parti are of nsentg age and are able to fully and actively nsent, then there’s not a problem wh age-gap relatnships of any pairg. But much like the equatn, this le of thkg don’t take to acunt the difference power between an 18-year-old and a 68-year-old, and as we know the law is rarely created favor of the more vulnerable, realy ’s worth a ltle more nsiratn. </p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>When I was 17, I had a short relatnship wh a man his 60s. Then, felt good—the sex was great, we were both totally nsentg, and of urse we never went public wh . Behd our closed doors felt like we were some kd of equals bee even though the power dynamic was askew, who held that power so often shifted between . </p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="9thlg"></div></div><p>Y, there is a power dynamic to be reckoned wh a <a href=">May-December relatnship</a>, but bat about age gaps often assume that the dynamic we speak of is simply one-way: The olr person has all the power; the younger person is exploed. In my experience, the olr person the relatnship has the power of experience, sure, but the younger person has the power of youth, of accs to culture now. When I dated olr men, I rived a certa power om their sire for me, and really turned me on. In turn, I felt taken re of, like I was learng at the hands of someone who had more life experience than me. I ed to say, “Old men fuck, ok, and talk better,” and, many s, was te—pecially when my datg pool was a group of nfed, shame-filled late-teen, early-20s gay men wh late-onset emotnal adolcence, jt like me.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="n9i2nd"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="xoz0hb"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>While we like to thk that relatnships and sire are morally pure and separate om somethg as ugly as power, many relatnships that’s jt not the se. And should always have to be? It’s the same reason <a href=">ugly rich guys date mols</a>, and mols date ugly rich guys. It’s the same reason we so often look for what we don’t have a partner.</p><p>I am aware that th far I have only discsed gay relatnships, but there’s a reason for that. The fact that queer liftyl and relatnships have bee so much more visible mastream culture has perhaps skewed our ia of what’s acceptable when to an age gap relatnships. Thk of a relatnship like Holland Taylor and Sarah Plson’s. The visibily of the kds of glamoro queer relatnships perhaps scrambl the ways we image the power dynamic between upl of olr men and younger women that we are more acctomed to seeg. </p><p>This, however, is to assume that the younger women engagg the relatnships aren’t knowgly explog the age-gap dynamic too. And why shouldn’t they? Jt bee ’s not a perfect story—bee culturally we thk romance should be fair, jt, and morally pure—don’t mean this isn’t what happens realy. </p><p>Years on I wonr if I would nsent to a relatnship of such an age gap as I did at 17, knowg what I know about how nsent isn’t ntral but ntextual. Was possible for me to fully nsent to a relatnship wh someone triple my age? When put like that, no. And yet years on, I would scribe that relatnship—and many of the relatnships I had wh olr men—as one of the most rpectful and tenr relatnships of my datg life. Ocsnally, of urse, I experienced the unfair exploatn of the power dynamic that wh an age gap, which left me feelg powerls and huiated. I’m sure I also exploed my powers at tim relatnships too. But this mistreatment was not overwhelmgly a feature of my relatnships wh olr men. In fact, this is the se across my whole datg history. Like all relatnships, some will go right and some will go wrong. </p><p>Perhaps we’re so fascated by age-gap relatnships bee ’s easy to assume that there will be exploatn and imbalanc of power at a higher equency. But to me figur that a society which we are tght how to acquire, posss, and own before we are tght to love and liberate, there are submerged dynamics of power and exploatn many relatnships, regardls of the age of the participants. In relatnships where people are ncerned wh liberatn, eedom, and rpect, perhaps an age gap don’t matter. </p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="uo883d"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body 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Back?</div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH epKWKp byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Laia Garcia-Furtado</span></span></p></div></div></a></li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="pi811q"></div></div><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ cMRTNH"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB ljApWB summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz iqnk"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="What And Jt Like That Gets Right&-And Sex and the Cy Got Wrong&-About Female Friendship" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX dUsdoD bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd cxwGKM cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Opn</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd dMyiUD 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OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz iqnk"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Fifty-Pl and Fabulo? 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gay power dynamic

Kev Maxen, an associate strength ach wh the Jacksonville Jaguars, has bee the first male ach a major U.S.-based profsnal league to e out as gay.

Contents:

JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR US-BASED PRO LEAGU

* gay power dynamic *

I ed to say, “Old men fuck, ok, and talk better, ” and, many s, was te—pecially when my datg pool was a group of nfed, shame-filled late-teen, early-20s gay men wh late-onset emotnal adolcence, jt like we like to thk that relatnships and sire are morally pure and separate om somethg as ugly as power, many relatnships that’s jt not the se.

I am aware that th far I have only discsed gay relatnships, but there’s a reason for that.

EROTICIZG DPERATN: POVERTY GAY-FOR-PAY PORN

" Part of me wonrs if this scriptn of relatnship power is heteronormative, that we LGBTs might stand a "better chance" of pg the dyad of domator/domated; but that uld jt be a load of homonormative bunk. Michael Sam beme the first openly gay player to be drafted when the then-St. BDSM as sexual orientatn: A parison to lbian, gay, and bisexual sexualy.

Racism has been a problem San Francis’s gay muny, pecially sce the Castro beme a gay neighborhood the early 1970s, and the problem has not abated over time spe perdic efforts to curb . Romburg outled some of the formal and rmal mpaigns agast racially discrimatory practic gay bars over time—cludg muny rponse to hirg discrimatn, selective intifitn checkg practic, the sale of racist paraphernalia, and more. This guy told him: "are you beg homosexual?

Two, he is jokgly sayg he's beg gay -and there is always an element of tth jok-. Third, he even across like a dick and an idt se there is any gay person the group. It's a nonsense proposn that one who is not lookg for a girliend is beg gay, so give him a chance to lose social stat by himself, whout you makg the job for him.

"ARE YOU GAY?" POWER MOVE: WHAT AME NTROL TECHNIQUE?

Through qualative terviews wh 34 young gay men (YGM), we seek to ntribute to the lerature this area by focg on the ways that YGM unrstand and enact sexual posns durg anal sex.

Keywords: gay men, sexual cisn-makg, genr rol, sexualy, HIV/AIDS, relatnshipsHIV preventn rearchers have long acknowledged the heightened risk of HIV transmissn for sexually receptive partners (Kgsley et al., 1987).

“BUTCH TOPS AND FEMME BOTTOMS”?: SEXUAL ROL, SEXUAL DECISN-MAKG, AND IAS OF GENR AMONG YOUNG GAY MEN

MethodsSampleThirty-four young gay men participated semi-stctured qualative terviews vtigatg their sexual behavr and their e of the ter as a datg tool. E., gay, bisexual, qutng, etc. All 34 reced YMSM self-intified as gay.

Acrdgly, our subject pool is referred to as young gay men, or YGM, throughout our rults orr to be specific about the participants’ inti. Our rearch qutns were veloped rponse to the broar lerature around the role of genr and power sexual negotiatn and HIV risk (MacPhail, Williams, & Campbell, 2002; Rosenthal & Levy, 2010; Wgood & DiClemente, 2002), the lerature on the diversy of gay men’s exprsns of genr (Carballo-Dieguez et al., 2004; Kippax & Smh, 2001; Moskowz & Hart, 2011), and our prelimary perceptns that the theoretil issu were reflected the narrativ our data difyg the fal data set and specifyg our rearch qutns, we sought to intify the latent them related sexual cisn makg and genr rol, our particular analytic area of tert. G., fort wh gay inty, race/ ethnicy) that are relevant to YGM, but they fall outsi the purview of this mancript and our analytic efforts.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY POWER DYNAMIC

Jaguars associate strength ach out as gay a first for US-based pro leagu .

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