The untri where gay men are the happit - The Washgton Post

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89 HAPPY GAY MAN STOCK VECTOR ART AND GRAPHICS

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Vcent Keh of MASCULAR Stud and Oliver Zke of Photomolekuel are pleased to announce the lnch of A Portra Isolatn, a project explorg emotnal and physil space the end of March 2020, as the COVID-19 global panmic grew spe and impact, gay men around the world were asked to subm self portras that reflected their experience of the ronavis lock-down. Livg liv which are often agmented between nventnal work ndns and their private liv leav many gay men whout the tradnal support mechanisms of heterosexuals and this shows through the separated by geography, culture and age, the men the imag all share fears for the future, lonels, job secury, and separatn.

Even though data suggts gay upl may be closg the sexual orientatn and genr inty pay gap (more rearch is need), siar studi show that 58% of gay men strs about money each week. Intifyg and unrstandg the five buildg blocks for a happy gay life is somethg we have a lot of passn around (’s our ikigai), and ’s somethg on which we’ve spent a lot of time perfectg. If you want to learn more about all five buildg blocks and how they work together to build a holistic and thentic happy gay life, get our ee gui, 5 Buildg Blocks of a Happy Gay Life, here.

Alas, none of this good news for gays and spankg fetishists is really backed up by the data the origal study, which, while trigug, is hardly evince that is beg out and gay that mak men happier (let alone women). While gay men the study seemed to experience ls strs and prsn than straight men, there are a variety of alternative explanatns that might expla this fact (like whether they worked out or not; whether they had children or not; e level and stabily). It seems like more than jt bad reportg to tell gay men and women that happs is up to them, not the world at large, and happs will rive om disclosure when that very disclosure n be dangero.

HOW TO BE HAPPY AS A GAY MAN

What’s take to be a genuely happy gay man? This is a qutn gay men have stggled wh for generatns. Here are 3 tips to get you started. * happy gay man *

It's time to "man up" and get to the real reasons gay men have so many problems fdg love and Tth: We're Our Own Worst Enemi Far too many gay men script our liv to the envy of Sex and the Cy wrers. However, for gay men, the greener pasture often seems (seems beg the operative word) to have a 6-pack vers a 5-pack, and a bank acunt that's not nsistently problem that aris wh the "somethg better will e along" mentaly is you sudnly wake up one day realizg you're still wag for the green grass to grow.

You will be what matters, and the amount of self-love and self-nfince will be 's a few more reasons why the problem wh gay men is themselv:We don't love ourselv enough to know how to love someone else, and then we bch bee we n't fd foc is outward-driven stead of are the total sum of the five gay men we spend most of our time wh. Until then homosexual actors, micians, athlet or anyone the public eye had two choic life: to keep their homosexualy a secret, pecially om the media, or adopt the mannerisms and a of drs which were very mp but at the same time (ironilly) never admtg their sexual preferenc publicly.

Tom Robson released a very succsful song entled (Sg if you're) Glad to be Gay, was the mid-70s, and I was still at a Catholic primary school when I remember que distctly hearg gay beg ed for the first time to unteract the BrEng rogatory terms such as: poofter, poof, queer, not normal, fairy and queen that were rife at the time. In the send verse, pots to the hypocrisy of Gay News beg prosecuted for obsceny stead of porn magaz like magaz Playboy or the tabloid The Sun which publish photographs of topls girls on Page 3.

ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?

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For me, a young child livg London at the time, the term gay (meang homosexual and not "happy") was ed much more equently by the media and the general public after the release of "Glad to be Gay". Pla Romeo, an Amsterdam-based datg and muny se, llaborated wh the Johann Gutenberg Universy of Maz Germany to rry out an onle survey of 115, 000 gay men around the world. They bed rankgs on public opn, public behavr and life satisfactn – how gay men feel about society’s view on homosexualy, how gay men feel they are treated by other people, and how satisfied gay men are wh their own liv, rpectively – to one worldwi rankg on gay happs.

5 (RATHER BLUNT) REASONS WHY GAY MEN STGGLE TO FD HAPPS

Often the real reason gay men fd so difficult to fd love and happs is bee they are their own worst enemy. YourTango expert Rick Clemons, The Comg Out Coach, drops some rather blunt tth about how gay men need to get out of their own way. * happy gay man *

Fifty six percent of rponnts the 20 worst untri said this, pared wh 20 percent the 20 bt many societi are growg more acceptg of homosexualy, gay men some untri report that thgs have gotten worse the past few years.

At other pots, I was schooled on how to s appropriately and talk the right way for a my later teen years, I went back to the closet and tried to be straight 3 separate timEach time I pretend to be straight, my gay tennci rose up, which led to feelgs of shame. I had a girliend at one pot, even though I knew that wasn't right for parents cid to move and enrolled me a new school bee mors were circulatg that I was gay, and they felt before turng 16, I tried leadg a straight life wh a secretive double life as a gay boy. Ever sce born-aga sger and orange juice pchwoman Ana Bryant helped kick off the ntemporary anti-gay movement some 40 years ago, hard-le elements of the relig right have been searchg for ways to monize gay people — or, at a mimum, to fd arguments that will prevent their normalizatn society.

But addn to hawkg that myth, the legns of anti-gay activists who followed have add a panoply of others, rangg om the extremely doubtful claim that sexual orientatn is a choice, to unalloyed li like the claims that gay men molt children far more than heterosexuals or that hate crime laws will lead to the legalizatn of btialy and necrophilia.

GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)

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The fairy tal are important to the anti-gay right bee they form the basis of s claim that homosexualy is a social evil that mt be supprsed — an opn rejected by virtually all relevant medil and scientific thori. Depictg gay men as a threat to children may be the sgle most potent weapon for stokg public fears about homosexualy — and for wng electns and referenda, as Ana Bryant found out durg her succsful 1977 mpaign to overturn a Da County, Fla., ordance barrg discrimatn agast gay people.

Others have ced a group lled the Amerin College of Pediatricians (ACPeds) to claim, as Tony Perks of the Fay Rearch Council did November 2010, that "the rearch is overwhelmg that homosexualy pos a [moltatn] danger to children.

89 HAPPY GAY MEN STOCK VECTOR ART AND GRAPHICS

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Gregory Herek, a profsor at the Universy of California, Davis, who is one of the natn's leadg rearchers on prejudice agast sexual mori, reviewed a seri of studi and found no evince that gay men molt children at higher rat than heterosexual men. The fixated child molter — the stereotypil pedophile — nnot be nsired homosexual or heterosexual bee "he often fds adults of eher sex repulsive" and often molts children of both sex.

Most hard-le anti-gay anizatns are heavily vted, om both a relig and a polil standpot, promotg the tradnal nuclear fay as the sole amework for the healthy upbrgg of children. The Amerin Amy of Child & Adolcent Psychiatry affirmed 2013 that “[c]urrent rearch shows that children wh gay and lbian parents do not differ om children wh heterosexual parents their emotnal velopment or their relatnships wh peers and adults” and they are “not more likely than children of heterosexual parents to velop emotnal or behavral problems.

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The Amerin Amy of Pediatrics (AAP) a 2002 policy statement clared: "A growg body of scientific lerature monstrat that children who grow up wh one or two gay and/or lbian parents fare as well emotnal, gnive, social, and sexual functng as do children whose parents are heterosexual.

” The next year, 2005, the APA published a summary of rearch fdgs on lbian and gay parents and reerated that mon negative stereotyp about LGBT parentg are not supported by the data.

THE UNTRI WHERE GAY MEN ARE THE HAPPIT

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Siarly, the Child Welfare League of Ameri's official posn wh regard to same-sex parents is that "lbian, gay, and bisexual parents are as well-sued to raise children as their heterosexual unterparts. A 2013 prelimary study Atralia found that the children of lbian and gay parents are not only thrivg, but may actually have better overall health and higher rat of fay hn than heterosexual fai.

Joseph Nilosi, a founr of the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy, said 2009 that "if you trmatize a child a particular way, you will create a homosexual ndn.

WHEN I ME OUT AS GAY, MY DAD THOUGHT I WAS POSSSED BY A MON AND FORCED ME TO NVERSN THERAPY. YEARS LATER, I'M NOW A HAPPY GAY MAN.

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A si effect of this argument is the monizatn of parents of gay men and lbians, who are led to wonr if they failed to protect a child agast sexual abe or failed as role mols some important way. ” Schumm, who has also argued that lbian relatnships are unstable, has ti to discreded psychologist and anti-LGBT fabulist Pl Cameron, the thor of numero pletely basels “studi” about the alleged evils of homosexualy.

MEANG OF GAY ENGLISH

The Amerin Psychiatric Associatn noted a 2000 fact sheet available on the Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists, that alg wh gay, lbian and bisexual issu, that sexual abe do not appear to be any more prevalent among children who grow up and intify as gay, lbian or bisexual than children who grow up and intify as heterosexual.

Siarly, the Natnal Organizatn on Male Sexual Victimizatn not on s webse that "experts the human sexualy field do not believe that premature sexual experienc play a signifint role late adolcent or adult sexual orientatn" and add that 's unlikely that anyone n make another person gay or heterosexual.

Warren Throckmorton, a psychologist at the Christian Grove Cy College, noted an analysis that “the rearch on sexual abe among GLBT populatns is often mised to make ferenc about atn [of homosexualy]. Anti-LGBT anizatns, seekg to promote heterosexualy as the healthier "choice, " often offer up the purportedly shorter life spans and poorer physil and mental health of gays and lbians as reasons why they shouldn't be allowed to adopt or foster children. This falsehood n be traced directly to the discreded rearch of Pl Cameron and his Fay Rearch Instute, specifilly a 1994 paper he -wrote entled "The Lifpan of Homosexuals.

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" Usg obuari llected om newspapers servg the gay muny, he and his two -thors nclud that gay men died, on average, at 43, pared to an average life expectancy at the time of around 73 for all U. On the basis of the same obuari, Cameron also claimed that gay men are 18 tim more likely to die r accints than heterosexuals, 22 tim more likely to die of heart attacks than wh, and 11 tim more likely than blacks to die of the same e.

Anti-LGBT anizatns have also tried to support this claim by distortg the work of legimate scholars, like a 1997 study nducted by a Canadian team of rearchers that alt wh gay and bisexual men livg Vanuver the late 1980s and early 1990s.

10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED

Lively is the vilently anti-gay founr of Abidg Tth Mistri and Abrams is an anizer of a group lled the Internatnal Commtee for Holot Tth, which me together 1994 and clud Lively as a member. The claims have been picked up by a number of anti-gay groups and dividuals, cludg Bryan Fischer of the Amerin Fay Associatn, as proof that gay men and lbians are vlent and sick.

SOME OF THE GREATT GAY LOVE STORI MOVI

Christe Mueller, profsor of history at Reed College, did a 1994 le-by-le refutatn of an earlier Abrams article on the topic and of the broar claim that the Nazi Party was "entirely ntrolled" by gay men. Anti-gay activists, who have long opposed addg LGBT people to those protected by hate crime legislatn, have repeatedly claimed that such laws would lead to the jailg of relig figur who preach agast homosexualy — part of a bid to ga the backg of the broar relig muny for their posn.

GAY

The First Amendment provis robt protectns of ee speech, and se law mak clear that even a preacher who publicly suggted that gays and lbians should be killed would be protected. Anti-gay groups have been adamantly opposed to allowg gay men and lbians to serve openly the armed forc, not only bee of their purported fear that bat reads will be unrmed, but bee the ary has long been nsired the purt merocracy Ameri (the armed forc were succsfully racially tegrated long before Amerin civil society, for example). At the same time, gays and lbians have served openly for years the armed forc of 25 untri (as of 2010), cludg Bra, Israel, South Ai, Canada and Atralia, acrdg to a report released by the Palm Center, a policy thk tank at the Universy of California at Santa Barbara.

The Palm Center report nclud that liftg bans agast openly gay service personnel the untri "ha[s] had no negative impact on morale, recment, retentn, reads or overall bat effectivens. A 2008 Milary Tim poll of active-duty ary personnel, often ced by anti-gay activists, found that 10% of rponnts said they would nsir leavg the ary if the DADT policy were repealed. " Siarly, a 1985 survey of 6, 500 male Canadian service members and a 1996 survey of 13, 500 Brish service members each revealed that nearly two-thirds exprsed strong rervatns about servg wh gays.

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