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How do you be a good ally to gay, trans, and other queer people 2020? Here are a few ncrete ways, om LGBTQ+ mental health experts and activists.

Contents:

GAY SUPPORT: WHERE TO FD LGBT HELP AND SUPPORT GROUPS

LGBT help is available for those gog through gay-related challeng. Fd out about gay support and support groups for LGBT here. * help gay *

Lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, qutng/queer, tersex, asexual, etc. (LGBTQIA+) support n be extremely helpful for people but only if gay people feel fortable enough to get . One of the challeng reachg out for support if you're gay is that you may feel that others who are not gay will not unrstand your particular suatn.

The gay support groups n help people through the challeng associated wh gay discrimatn and stigma.

LGBTQ+ SUPPORT, SUPPORT GROUPS, GAY SUPPORT ORGANIZATNS

Gay support is cril, particularly when g out. Learn how to fd onle gay support groups, gay support hotl, gay support anizatns here. * help gay *

Fay members and iends of gay people. Gay support n help someone alg wh issu anywhere along a ntuum - om the pot where they are qutng their sexualy through alg wh the challeng of possibly g out at work or stgglg wh gay relatnship issu.

Beg gay, of urse, is not a mental illns, but support groups n often benef om profsnal learship.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

was created as a quick rource for members of the LGBTQIA+ muny to get accs to somone to talk to who unrstand what you are gog through. * help gay *

Gay support groups for the fai and iends of gay people n offer help wh:1. Helpg a gay loved one through the challeng of g out.

Parentg a gay youth. Gay support groups offer siar advantag for LGBTQIA+ people:. Dealg wh ternalized homophobia.

AM I GAY?

Highlights of the specific mental health needs among gay and bisexual men. * help gay *

Help wh homosexualy and mental health issu. The Gay and Lbian Medil Associatn.

The Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists.

LGBT Foundatn is a natnal chary liverg advice, support and rmatn servic to lbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) muni. * help gay *

LGBT fay and iend support groups n be found through this Gay Parent magaze directory or through PFLAG – Parents, Fay and Friends of Lbians and Gays.

Gay help and rourc n also be found through lol LGBT anizatns and onle.

For onle gay help support groups, check out:. (for gay teens).

Are you qutng your sexualy? Fd out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what the terms mean and if they apply to you. * help gay *

Gay Support: Where to Fd LGBT Help and Support Groups, HealthyPlace. LGBTQ+ support groups and gay support anizatns are cril, pecially for people who, ially, fd difficult to e out as gay and n benef om the support of others.

Gay support groups and anizatns work to support people of mory sexualy such as gay, lbian, queer, transgenr, and bisexual.

Some gay support anizatns are specifilly dited to supportg dividuals while others foc on rights issu and gay polics as well. (There are also groups that support parents of gay children.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* HELP GAY

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She received her journalism gree om Northwtern Universy, and her wrgs on sex, relatnships, inty, and wellns have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolan, and elsewhere.</div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><span><div class="sc-1l4o0aw-0 ddALLK"><div id="article-hear-image" class="sc-11lw232-0 kTjxXR sc-1l4o0aw-1 iQIJEZ"><picture><source width="900" height="500" media="(m-width: 1024px)" srcSet=", 2x"/><source width="1023" height="575" media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=", 2x"/><img role="prentatn" alt="20 Ways To Be A Better LGBTQ+ Ally In 2020 // 20 Ways To Actually Support LGBTQ+ People In 2020" fetchprry="high" tle="20 Ways To Be A Better LGBTQ+ Ally In 2020 // 20 Ways To Actually Support LGBTQ+ People In 2020" loadg="eager" width="480" height="322" src=" srcSet=", 2x"/></picture></div><div class="sc-1l4o0aw-2 bZndvY"><div class="sc-1l4o0aw-3 buJAAj">Image by mbg Creative / Casey Tanner, Kristen Curette, Ju Valent, Erika Kap</div></div><div class="sc-1l4o0aw-6 fztoxf">June 14, 2020</div></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>It's a particularly powerful Pri Month.</p><p>This June, people across the untry have llective actn and activism more top of md than ever. After weeks of monstratns agast racism and police vlence, the sle of munal ditn to active allyship feels revolutnary—and we're jt gettg started.</p></div></span></div><asi class="sc-1jo7k-0 fIGSaL"><div></div><div style="display:none"></div><div></div></asi></div><div class="sc-11rlt5o-3 hieagl"><div class="sc-11rlt5o-4 iBIzdZ"><div class="sc-1yed2pf-0 fqxmsC"><sectn class="sc-10p0iao-0 dMupux sc-1yed2pf-1 kQashk"><div class="sc-10p0iao-1 hdYanS"><h5>Advertisement</h5><div tabx="0" class="sc-10p0iao-3 iyOeCM"><svg height="19px" width="19px" class="sc-10p0iao-4 jDlrCP"><e href="/"></e></svg></div><div class="sc-10p0iao-2 leWrSY"><div class="sc-10p0iao-5 clhrzt">This ad is displayed g third party ntent and we do not ntrol s accsibily featur.</div></div></div><div class="work-ad htlad-Any_Learboard"></div></sectn></div></div></div><div class="sc-11rlt5o-3 hieagl"><div class="sc-11rlt5o-4 iBIzdZ"><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>As we're figurg out how to directly tegrate anti-racism to our daily liv, 's also a good time to nsir ways we n be better advot for the LGBTQ+ muny and specifilly queer women of lor and black trans women, all of whom ntue to face signifint discrimatn and hardship across the world.</p><p>We reached out to LGBTQ+ mental health experts, activists, ntent creators, and bs owners to share ncrete actns that anyone n take to support LGBTQ+ people. Here's what they told :</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">1<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-IA8iYRuZ9" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Do the work to te yourself.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Set asi some time to do your own rearch, and make sure you're gettg your rmatn om reputable sourc—ially om folks the muny," says <a href=">Jse Kahn, LCSW, CST</a>, director and sex therapist at <a href=">The Genr & Sexualy Therapy Center</a> NYC. </p><p>"Don't be ashamed if you don't know everythg already; jt make sure you take the time to te yourself. This uld also clu payg someone to te you, attendg workshops, readg LGBTQ+-petent books, etc."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">2<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-HtSjE78aJQ" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Learn the history.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"To be an ally, you need to learn about LGBTQ+ history," says therapist <a href=">Michael Salas, Psy.D., LPC, CST</a>. "This n help you be aware of rhetoric and current affairs that matter. But even more importantly, n help you unrstand why the issu matter to people who are part of the muny. To me, this is the difference between tolerance and te acceptance. Makg LGBTQ+ history a general history that has impacted all rather than somethg that only LGBTQ+ people need to be aware of."</p></div></span><span><sectn class="sc-10p0iao-0 dMupux sc-ewkazq-0 iZnRCw"><div class="sc-10p0iao-1 hdYanS"><h5>Advertisement</h5><div tabx="0" class="sc-10p0iao-3 iyOeCM"><svg height="19px" width="19px" class="sc-10p0iao-4 jDlrCP"><e href="/"></e></svg></div><div class="sc-10p0iao-2 leWrSY"><div class="sc-10p0iao-5 clhrzt">This ad is displayed g third party ntent and we do not ntrol s accsibily featur.</div></div></div><div class="work-ad htlad-InLe_Article_1"></div></sectn></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">3<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg--0tacxoZt1" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Introduce yourself wh your pronouns. </h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Normalizg pronoun e for all genr inti⁠—not jt trans or nonbary folx—helps take away some of the burn and strs associated wh beg misgenred," says <a href=">Chs Needham</a>, -owner of statnery pany <a href=">Ash + Chs</a> and -thor of <a href="><em>The Gay Agenda</em></a>.</p><p>Needham remends actively troducg yourself g your pronouns when you meet new people, particularly group settgs. That might sound somethg like: <em>Hi, I'm Kelly, and my pronouns are she/her.</em></p><p>It n also be helpful to clu your pronouns your social media bs, email signatur, and anywhere else you're troducg yourself. The ia is to make normal to not assume people's pronouns, which mak easier and safer for trans and genr-nonnformg people to make sure their rrect pronouns are beg ed.</p><p>"Give people the choice to share their pronouns," adds <a href=">Kenya Crawford, LMHC</a>, mental health unselor and -founr of <a href=">On the Mend</a>. "Everyone may not feel fortable sharg their pronouns every space. For example, 'My pronouns are she/they. If you feel safe, feel ee to share your pronouns.'"</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">4<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-bS24rFqCQU" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Remember, there's no such thg as "preferred" pronouns.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Pronouns are not a preference," Crawford adds. "They are expected. So stead, ask for pronouns."</p><p>Most women don't "prefer" to e she/her pronouns, for example. Those are jt their rrect pronouns. This same prciple appli to people of all genrs.</p></div></span><span><div data-exp-id="promotnal-recirculatn" class="sc-1h17339-8 gjbtbd"><div class="sc-1h17339-9 iJqarH"><button class="sc-1h17339-15 iZyYYw">Read Next</button></div><div class="sc-1h17339-10 hdpFKv"><div class="sc-1h17339-11 cizZQ"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-17 dXbQny"><div class="sc-11lw232-0 SFNw sc-1h17339-14 gyLFQy"><picture><source width="300" height="231" media="(m-width: 576px)" srcSet=", 2x"/><img role="prentatn" alt="" fetchprry="high" width="300" height="231" src=" srcSet=", 2x"/></picture></div></a><div class="sc-1h17339-12 iDgjce"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-13 kZwwV">Cold Plunge Is Takg Over The Wellns World: The Benefs + Bt Tubs To Try</a><a class="sc-1h17339-16 dVTyyv">Merrell Readman</a></div></div><div class="sc-1h17339-11 cizZQ"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-17 dXbQny"><div class="sc-11lw232-0 SFNw sc-1h17339-14 gyLFQy"><picture><source width="300" height="231" media="(m-width: 576px)" srcSet=", 2x"/><img role="prentatn" alt="" fetchprry="high" width="300" height="231" src=" srcSet=", 2x"/></picture></div></a><div class="sc-1h17339-12 iDgjce"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-13 kZwwV">The 8 Bt Adjtable Bas & Matchg Mattrs To Maximize Your Sleep</a><a class="sc-1h17339-16 dVTyyv">Jack Byram</a></div></div><div class="sc-1h17339-11 cizZQ"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-17 dXbQny"><div class="sc-11lw232-0 SFNw sc-1h17339-14 gyLFQy"><picture><source width="300" height="231" media="(m-width: 576px)" srcSet=", 2x"/><img role="prentatn" alt="" fetchprry="high" width="300" height="231" src=" srcSet=", 2x"/></picture></div></a><div class="sc-1h17339-12 iDgjce"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-13 kZwwV">The 8 Bt CBD Oils For Sleep That Help You Stay Calm Before Bed</a><a class="sc-1h17339-16 dVTyyv">Lizzy Sherman</a></div></div></div></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">5<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-sZJI9CyYv6" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Beyond jt learng fns, build relatnships.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>There's a lot of new language and new termology poppg up today that people are g to scribe their genr and sexual inti. Memorizg the "right meangs" of all the words is not the pot, says <a href=">Sula Mala</a>, a therapist trag at The Genr & Sexualy Therapy Center.</p><p>"While havg a basic unrstandg of inti like 'gay,' 'pansexual,' and 'nonbary' is important, the stock fns are like a ZIP ; they give you only a general ia of someone's experience," they expla. "Every person has their own experience of 'gay,' 'pansexual,' 'nonbary,' or any other inty. The real work is not memorizg dictnary entri but buildg tstg relatnships wh LGBTQ folks who will feel safe to share their experience wh you."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">6<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-76z4owcrOi" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Don't cricize other people's labels.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Leave your ego at the door," says queer ntent creator and body liberatn activist <a href=">Ju Valent</a>. "A lot of tim, folks get their feelgs about how other people intify and what labels they e. But labels are personal, and 's not gog to be a one-size-fs-all asssment."</p><p>Two people might e the same word to scribe their inty and have very different fns of what that word means to them. That don't necsarily mean eher person is g "wrong." </p><p>"Operate om good fah, and assume good fah," Valent says. "We're all this together."</p></div></span><span><sectn class="sc-10p0iao-0 dMupux sc-ewkazq-0 iZnRCw"><div class="sc-10p0iao-1 hdYanS"><h5>Advertisement</h5><div tabx="0" class="sc-10p0iao-3 iyOeCM"><svg height="19px" width="19px" class="sc-10p0iao-4 jDlrCP"><e href="/"></e></svg></div><div class="sc-10p0iao-2 leWrSY"><div class="sc-10p0iao-5 clhrzt">This ad is displayed g third party ntent and we do not ntrol s accsibily featur.</div></div></div><div class="work-ad htlad-InLe_Article_2"></div></sectn></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">7<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-JtirWwhpMD" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Make a pot to ternalize people's genrs, beyond jt the language.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"If someone shar their pronouns wh you, take the time not only to practice (on your own) g the pronouns a sentence but to really <em>see</em> that person the way they see themselv," Mala adds. "Trans and nonbary folks often know when you're gettg the words 'right' but still not seeg them as their genr. Pl, shiftg your ternal unrstandg of a person's genr will probably make g their rrect pronouns much easier!"</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">8<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-9n9G7KY41s" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Donate your time and money.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Remember that g the rrect name and pronouns for someone isn't allyship—'s jt the bare mimum need to avoid actively beg a bigot," says <a href=">Tuck Woodstock</a>, genr and equy tor and host of the <a href="><em>Genr Reveal</em></a><em> </em>podst.</p><p>"Te allyship volv stctural change and rource reallotn. So, if you're lookg to be an ally this Pri season, give money to trans people (there are endls surgery GoFundM), trans media (e.g., <em>Genr Reveal</em> and <a href="><em>Queersplag</em></a>), and trans anizatns like the <a href=">Sylvia Rivera Law Project</a> and <a href=">Trans Lifele</a>."</p><p>Kahn adds, "Many LGBTQ+ s need volunteers and donatns. A one-time donatn is a fantastic gift. An even better gift is a recurrg monthly donatn so that anizatns n unt on your money every month and e to ntue their work."</p></div></span><span><sectn class="sc-10p0iao-0 dMupux sc-ewkazq-0 iZnRCw"><div class="sc-10p0iao-1 hdYanS"><h5>Advertisement</h5><div tabx="0" class="sc-10p0iao-3 iyOeCM"><svg height="19px" width="19px" class="sc-10p0iao-4 jDlrCP"><e href="/"></e></svg></div><div class="sc-10p0iao-2 leWrSY"><div class="sc-10p0iao-5 clhrzt">This ad is displayed g third party ntent and we do not ntrol s accsibily featur.</div></div></div><div class="work-ad htlad-InLe_Article_3"></div></sectn></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">9<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-IQ9FblOG9N" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Make your bs actively clive.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Three ways to do that, directly om <a href=">Mere Abrams, LCSW</a>, a therapist and nsultant foced on genr and inty: </p></div></span><span><div class="sc-8nga9g-0 bdGXVz"><ul id="mbg--Hf5UHcuoS" class="sc-8nga9g-2 dsZcvS"><li class="sc-8nga9g-3 eZRWpM">Make sure all forms have a dited space for name (if different om legal name), pronouns, and genr (male, female, trans, nonbary, and other).</li><li class="sc-8nga9g-3 eZRWpM">Make sure all staff receive rourc and trag about how to be clive of and rpectful to trans and queer people.</li><li class="sc-8nga9g-3 eZRWpM">Hire trans, nonbary, and genr-nonnformg people. Seeg yourself reflected a given space or profsn is an important part of feelg clud. </li></ul></div></span><span><sectn class="sc-10p0iao-0 dMupux sc-ewkazq-0 iZnRCw"><div class="sc-10p0iao-1 hdYanS"><h5>Advertisement</h5><div tabx="0" class="sc-10p0iao-3 iyOeCM"><svg height="19px" width="19px" class="sc-10p0iao-4 jDlrCP"><e href="/"></e></svg></div><div class="sc-10p0iao-2 leWrSY"><div class="sc-10p0iao-5 clhrzt">This ad is displayed g third party ntent and we do not ntrol s accsibily featur.</div></div></div><div class="work-ad htlad-InLe_Article_4"></div></sectn></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">10<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-PgTUqZ4W87" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Put LGBTQ+ people posns of power.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Have them real posns of power. Don't have them be token people or jt have them there to rm the powers that be or be there jt to te," Rachel Ward, founr and print of <a href=">Soapwalla</a>, <a href=">told mbg last year</a>. "Have people who don't look like you, haven't had your life experienc every possible way, be those posns so you n hear what they need."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">11<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-bmtrPSC0NP" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Follow through wh pledg.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Especially durg Pri, pani n sometim vt marketg a big project supposedly to support LGBTQ+ people⁠—but that don't actually do anythg tangible to help.</p><p>"Any rporatn who is g a rabow logo or any rporatn who is dog any type of Pri stuff or if you're a ffee shop and you're makg a rabow latte and you're sellg , you're sentially makg money off this muny," <a href=">Bethany C. Meyers</a>, LGBTQ+ activist and founr of <a href=">the project</a>, told mbg <a href="> an terview last year</a>. "Therefore money should be given back to the muny."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">12<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-1Uy7uVXqTe" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Protect trans rights.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Across the world, transgenr people still face signifint discrimatn and barriers to well-beg. For example, <a href=">acrdg to the Amerin Amy of Pediatrics</a>, trans people experience disproportnately high rat of homelsns, physil vlence, and mental health issu while also often lackg accs to health re and surance. Acrdg to the <a href=">2015 U.S. Transgenr Survey</a>, 33% have experienced mistreatment at the hands of a doctor the last year, 47% have experienced sexual asslt, 54% experienced harassment while school related to beg trans, and a staggerg 40% have attempted suici their lifetim (ne tim the attempted suici rate of the general populatn). </p><p>In the U.S., the Supreme Court is currently batg whether 's legal to fire someone for beg trans and whether 's legal to ban trans people om servg the ary. </p><p>"Transgenr Amerins seek the same opportuni as everyone else—to work hard school or at our jobs and to participate our muni," says Nilas Talbott, one of the platiffs <a href="><em>Stockman v. Tmp</em></a>, a feral lawsu opposg the trans ary ban. "As someone who's been told I n't pursue my dream reer ary service even though I'm qualified, I know how important is for alli to treat transgenr employe and -workers wh the same rpect as everyone else and to make work cisns based on skills and acplishments, not who we are. In Oh, where I live, there aren't statewi protectns for LGBTQ people, so if alli don't step up to support me, I uld be fired jt bee I'm transgenr, regardls of my abily to do the job."</p><p>Votg and civic engagement are one of the most important ways to support trans people: Vote out policians who support discrimatory laws agast trans people, and ll up your lol officials to mand they ph forward legal protectns for trans rights. </p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">13<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-w_kOhBJi1dB" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Protect black trans women, specifilly.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Black trans women are one of the <a href=">most margalized and vulnerable groups</a> wh the LGBTQ+ muny, facg <a href=">heightened vlence</a>, <a href=">unemployment, and health dispari</a>. Te allyship th requir specifilly amplifyg and supportg black trans women.</p><p>"For those wh the fancial means to do so, donatg money to LGBTQ that center the needs of transgenr women of lor n have a major and direct impact on people's liv. While natnal anizatns supportg the LGBTQ muny do important work, money donated to the groups do not always make to the most margalized members of the muny," Mala explas. "Do rearch to see which groups your muny are led by and serve trans folks of lor, and ntribute however you n!"</p><p>Crawford also emphasiz the importance of llg out your iends and fay if you hear them makg transphobic ments: "Protect Black trans women by llg out transphobia wh your muny. Use your voice to te and advote."</p><p>You n also donate to black trans funds such as <a href=">The Marsha P. Johnson Instute</a>.</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">14<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-3IIYjeCFRNv" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Advote for more clive schools.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Everyone is at risk of beg bullied, but LGBTQ+ dividuals face more hostile suatns," expla bloggers <a href=">Nicholas Fronduto and Anthony Nilo</a>. "Schools need to take more actn regardg anti-LGBT behavrs/bias and work proactively to ensure <a href=">more clive environments</a>. Some stunts do not feel safe at their school bee nothg is beg done regardg bullyg. Words n fely have a negative effect on others, so we all need to be more ut of what we say and do."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">15<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-0wdnw7iFIqu" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Don't make assumptns about someone's sexual orientatn.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Pay attentn to when you reflexively assume people are straight, such as assumg your female iend is lookg to date guys. "We should never assume we know someone's sexual orientatn. Everyone is unique, and we should be acceptg of that whout judgment," Fronduto and Nilo say. </p><p>Avoid words like "boyiend" and "girliend" when talkg about other people’s relatnships too, says Crawford, unls you know those are the terms they e. Otherwise, sprg for a genr-ntral label like "<a href=">partner</a>."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">16<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-HjS79-Ht1Sl" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Also, don't make assumptns about every LGBTQ+ person you meet. </h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"When you know or have met a person who intifi as LGBTQ+, know that you have only met one such dividual," says <a href=">Symonne Kennedy, LMSW</a>, psychotherapist at The Genr & Sexualy Therapy Center. "Alli n really show support by not assumg that we all have somehow lived the same life, have the same goals, enjoy the same terts, etc. Rather than tryg to assume and fend, try stead to listen and beiend, as you would wh any other member of a given muny."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">17<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-jgCwLWWI-5M" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Dch genr stereotyp.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"No matter what culture we have grown up , we have all been subject to the ia of genr rol. Alli n show support by makg a nsc effort to <a href=">unlearn the stereotyp</a> that prcribe specific genr scripts and unrme genr exprsn and dividualized inty formatn," Kennedy explas. "It may be helpful to remember that LGBTQ+-intified dividuals have grown up the same world as everyone else and therefore may also be workg to unlearn the stereotyp."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">18<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-e1xbxIFNA" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Learn how to apologize whout fensivens.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"We all make mistak, and when to genr and queer-affirmg language, 's only a matter of time until you'll slip up—even wh the bt of tentns," says queer sex therapist <a href=">Casey Tanner, LCPC</a>. "When you do slip up, those tentns don't matter so much as the harm that is done the mistake. This don't mean you need to be extra hard on yourself, employ negative self-talk, or shame spiral. It do mean that amends may be necsary."</p><p>"Every queer person is different, and we all have different languag of apology, so I don't speak for everyone. I do thk 's fair to say that, generally, we don't want to hear exc or explanatns, and we don't want a self-flagellatg apology that puts a posn to soothe straight or cis people. The bt method is typilly to apologize, rrect yourself, move on, and do better the future. If you need to procs your mistake, or want to learn ways to do better, do NOT ask the person you have harmed. Go to someone you know is a great ally or a profsnal who you n pay to help you wh that work. It isn't a queer person's job to te you."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">19<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-R4oaIpKYgKV" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Foc on listeng.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Let margalized muni lead the way. You are there for support, so make sure you are listeng to and amplifyg the voic of others. Make sure you're not jt listeng to your fellow alli. Allyship is based around the folks you claim to be an ally to. This means listeng more than you talk spac, tg yourself, and promotg muny lears," says Kahn.</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">20<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-pUx5uChuF07" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Never out anyone.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Jt bee someone has told <em>you </em>about their sexual orientatn or genr revelatns don't mean that 's open rmatn. The same go for if someone sually mentns someone else's sexual or genr inty. Don't assume the rmatn is public unls the person qutn themselv publicly stat .</p><p>"Beg out is not a simple cisn for a lot of folks, and this is not a choice you n make for someone else," says Kahn.</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">21<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-ELUgUeygrV3" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Ask qutns.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"If you're straight and you're an ally—or you're straight and you want to be an ally, and you don't know, and you <a href=">don't want to ms up</a> so you don't try—jt ask. Jt <em>ask</em>. Ask any qutns. That's the only way you'll ever get the opportuny to unrstand," Ward said. "And then listen. Listen to the answers."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">22<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-sa5iVWn4zLf" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Be an ally even when there are no queer people the room.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Beg a good ally means showg up for the muny when you do not even know if anyone the muny is prent to see you do ," says sex tor and trma specialist <a href=">Jimanekia Eborn</a>. "It is important to be an ally and acplice at all tim. And even more when no one is around."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">23<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-Y8RVuFQA9DY" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Remember that llg yourself an ally is not enough.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Namg yourself an ally is not enough. Allyship is a practice, not an endpot," Crawford explas. "Do the work to actively dismantle systems that dispt the safety of the LGBTQ muny. You nnot em yourself an ally jt bee you've gone to Pri or have a queer bt iend. Your allyship mt be named by folk wh the muny."</p><p>Khan adds, "Beg an ally is an actn, not a tle. It's not somethg you are. It's somethg you do. Don't let your allyship beg and end here. Keep growg, learng, and fightg!"</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">24<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-jVCVoV2Dn7b" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Don't s on the sil.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Not dog anythg is almost as bad as dog somethg negative," Hoton ballet soloist <a href=">Harper Watters</a> last year <a href=">told mbg</a>. "Put yourself outsi of your fort zone. Put yourself to the uncertaty. Always somethg really good, I feel, happens om that. By not participatg somethg, you're still affectg someone. Small acts of kdns or change will make a greater change."</p></div></span></div><asi class="sc-1jo7k-0 fIGSaL"><div></div><div style="display:none"></div><div></div></asi></div></span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-6 dtScKh"><div class="sc-11rlt5o-7 hocuZv"><div data-exp-id="article-bottom" class="sc-11rlt5o-8 dLWyXj"></div><div class="sc-15o9lv8-0 gilrep"><a href="/wc/kelly-gonsalv"><div class="sc-11lw232-0 SFNw sc-15o9lv8-2 bDIZRl"><picture><source media="(m-width: 1024px)" width="78" height="78" srcSet=", 2x"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" width="70" height="70" srcSet=", 2x"/><img role="" alt="Kelly Gonsalv thor page." fetchprry="high" tle="Kelly Gonsalv thor page." src=" width="50" height="50" srcSet=", 2x"/></picture></div></a><div><a href="/wc/kelly-gonsalv"><div class="sc-15o9lv8-3 iKOfRs">Kelly Gonsalv</div><div class="sc-15o9lv8-4 dJJZhW">Contributg Sex & Relatnships Edor</div></a><div class="sc-15o9lv8-5 bHPKlw"><p><a href=">Kelly Gonsalv</a> is a multi-certified sex tor and relatnship ach helpg people figure out how to create datg and sex liv that actually feel good — more open, more optimistic, and more pleasurable. In addn to workg wh dividuals her private practice, Kelly serv as the Sex & Relatnships Edor at mdbodygreen. She has a gree journalism om <a href=">Northwtern Universy</a>, and she’s been traed and certified by leadg sex and relatnship stutns such as <a href=" target="_blank">The Gottman Instute</a> and <a href=" target="_blank">Everyone Derv Sex Ed</a>, among others. Her work has been featured at <em>The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolan,</em> and elsewhere.</p><p>Wh her warm, playful approach to achg and facilatn, Kelly creat rehgly ndid spac for procsg and healg challeng around datg, sexualy, inty, body image, and relatnships. She’s particularly enthiastic about helpg softhearted women get re-energized around the datg experience and fd joy the procs of nnectg wh others. She believ relatnships should be easy—and that, wh room for self-reflectn and the right toolk, they n be.</p><p>You n stay the loop about her latt programs, gathergs, and other projects through her newsletter: <a href=" target="_blank"></a><br></p></div></div></div></div><asi class="sc-11rlt5o-9 iHRMFp"></asi></div><div></div><div class="sc-11rlt5o-2 jagkAl"></div></article></div><footer class="sc-4x6sxh-0 kyATUY"><a href="/" aria-label="Go to ma page"><div class="sc-4x6sxh-1 gXBEJD"></div></a><div class="sc-4x6sxh-2 kXYAYF"><a href="/about">About </a><a href="/ntact">Contact</a><a href="/ntribute">Wre for </a><a href="/jobs">Jobs</a><a href="/advertise">Advertise</a><a href="/affiliat">Bee an Affiliate</a><a href="/llective">Collective</a></div><div class="sc-4x6sxh-3 iNKxFr"><a href="><svg height="40.71" class="sc-4x6sxh-4 cypTyX"><tle>Instagram.

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