Lovg Olr Men—and Learng to Accept It - The Gay & Lbian Review

Contents:

• GAY MEN EMBRACE STOCK PHOTOS AND IMAG
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
• AS A GAY MAN, I’LL NEVER BE NORMAL
• HYPER-MASCULY GAY & BISEXUAL MEN INCREAS PSYCHOLOGIL DISTRS
• HOW MACHISMO CULTURE IMPACTS GAY LATOS
• THE WAYS GAY MEN ARE MORE MASCULE THAN THEY REALIZE

GAY MEN EMBRACE STOCK PHOTOS AND IMAG

It seems like every gay guy out there is a bottom, and when you thk you've met someone who's fely a He too is a bottom.

I nied the tth bee my sexual attractns were not wh the range of what I nsired acceptable homosexual behavr, even then, when “homosexual behavr” was anathema to the “moral life.

Neverthels, the work I’ve done to explore my story a psychotheraptic settg and wrg about , I have e to realize that, while there may be aspects of a still-rolvg “daddy plex” at play my sexual preference, is somethg that I’ve e to embrace as unique to my gay male inty. As history will tell , tergeneratnal gay relatnships are not unual; nor should they be.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight.

Consir takg an onle sexualy quiz, like this one, to see if intifyg as gay feels right for you.

There isn't any need to change yourself - beg gay is jt another way of simply existg, and there is nothg wrong wh at all. The fact that I am gay is jt another facet of who I am, jt as beg creative, or optimistic, or havg brown ey is.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are.

You do not need to f to the gay muny jt as much as you don't need to f to the straight muny. There are many, many gay people all sorts of muni, and there are many people there for you when you need support. Fd a group or a hangout where you feel fortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk wh.

PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS

If you were raised an environment that owns on homosexualy, you are not worth any ls. The laws the Bible were maly for health purpos - shunng homosexualy is right next to not gettg tattoos, not eatg pork, and not wearg mixed lens, but you n bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those thgs. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals and want pannship and love jt like anyone else you know.

It is important to note that the Amerin Psychologil Associatn has clared that groups claimg to cure homosexualy are dangero and unhealthy. If you are still beg supported by parents whom you are que sure would disown you for beg gay, may be pnt to wa to tell them until you are pennt.

You may regret the acceptance of your orientatn the future, pecially if you're a part of the world where the gay muny is beg prosecuted by a specific culture.

AS A GAY MAN, I’LL NEVER BE NORMAL

Article SummaryXIf you stggle wh acceptg your attractn to the same sex, know that beg gay is pletely normal and you n be proud of who you are by fdg support and embracg your dividualy. It’s also important to unrstand that you don’t need to nform to gay stereotyp or tl, as they are artificial social nstcts.

HYPER-MASCULY GAY & BISEXUAL MEN INCREAS PSYCHOLOGIL DISTRS

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex. Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia.

I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them. I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology. Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man.

They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight.

HOW MACHISMO CULTURE IMPACTS GAY LATOS

Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg.

THE WAYS GAY MEN ARE MORE MASCULE THAN THEY REALIZE

Beg homosexual, gay, or havg same-sex attractn is not sex addictn, and should never be treated as such. Published fal eded form as:PMCID: PMC5442596NIHMSID: NIHMS860386AbstractThe Bear muny exists as a subculture reactn to the larger gay muny.

While qualative data document such self-intifiers as mascule-actg gay men who weigh more and have more body hair, there has to date been no quantative analysis of this group’s characteristics.

In rponse, we nducted two large-sle studi of gay men intifyg as Bears (n = 469) to survey their self-reported physil, behavral, and psychologil tras.