Tla Sued for Racial Harassment by Black, Gay Former Worker

black gay coworker

Beg Asian Amerin and LGBTQ+ n feel lonely, wh stutns such as ethnic church often disavowg non-heterosexual relatnships while tradnal LGBTQ+ spac such as gay bars n be unwelg.

Contents:

A BLACK, GAY WOMAN IS SUG TLA FOR HARASSMENT, ACCG OF FAILG TO ACT AGAST A WORKER WHO REPEATEDLY LLED HER THE N-WORD AND ASSLTED HER

Unrstandg and navigatg your csh A csh is somethg special, and you should enjoy havg one! But when that csh is the same genr as you are, n be a b strsful stead. Do this mean you're gay? Should you tell them?... * black gay coworker *

Barker, who is a Black, gay woman, says the su Tla failed to addrs racist abe directed towards her by a worker and that retaliated agast her when she tried to report the abe.

Adult populatn intified as lbian, gay, bisexual, or transgenr. Not All of Us Use LabelsSome folks have “Comg Out” parti and ll themselv gay, lbian, bisexual, or anythg else they’d like! You’re eher straight or you’re gay, you’re eher a woman or a man—but the tth is there’s so much more beyond that.

This has to be said pot blank, though: The (pretty mon) qutn “I’m not gay, but if I was, would you want to hook up wh me? Don't try and pliment them by sayg "You jt don't strike me as gay. Sayg that there is a specific "look" or appearance to beg gay, lbian, bisexual, and a slew of other inti n e off as sensive and out of touch.

TLA BEG SUED BY BLACK, GAY WORKER WHO CLAIMS 'FTERG' RACISM

Bayard Rt was an adviser to Mart Luther Kg Jr. and the anizer behd the 1963 March on Washgton. And though he was gay, his legacy remas ltle known among many the LGBTQ muny. * black gay coworker *

" David Hudson wrote on Gay Star News. At the very least, would suggt the person sayg thks gay people look a certa way. "In a siar ve, makg statements like "You're too pretty to be queer" or "You seem so mascule to be gay" are actually rercg false stereotyp about queer people.

Never say to your bisexual worker, "But you're really jt gay" or "You’re really jt straight, right? That's some gay ass sh bh.

MY -WORKER IS GAY. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

There are also a lot of profsg Christians at work who are very hateful the way they talk about people who are gay and homosexualy. * black gay coworker *

Are you gay or what? Macc: are you gay or wtf?

TOM HOLLAND’S GAY SEX SCENE SETS SOCIAL MEDIA ALIGHT AFTER THE ACTOR SAID PLAYG THE ROLE ‘BROKE HIM’

We spend most of our wakg hours at our jobs (one-third of our lifetim to be exact). It seems evable that worker csh will, om time-to-time, arise. As humans, we have a basic need for timacy and nnectn, but when we add attractn to this mix, there is bound to be another layer of plitn. How do that impact , our work, and our relatnship wh our peers? Profsor Sean Horan and Profsor Rebec Chory have spent most of their reers tryg to unrstand the implitns of havg a romantic relatnship at work — both on our performance and on our team members. Across three studi, they found that employe were more likely to lie to, distst, and fd peers datg their superrs ls rg than peers datg other peers. Though the studi ially foced on heterosexual relatnships, they also found siar rults a fal study examg gay and lbian romanc at work. * black gay coworker *

I stood up and said, " no I'm not gay I jt haven't had a gf a while, 's not a big al. Macc: yo I thk du gay bro, he don't got no girl and he move slow as fuck. Even if he is gay that's on him.

Photo: David Gannon (Getty Imag)A black, gay woman who ma and spected brake parts for Tla is sug the pany. Gay -workers - double standard. Sce the panmic, I haven't had to go to the office and ma me realize how nice is not havg to al wh my gay -workers (male).

JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR US-BASED PRO LEAGU

* black gay coworker *

We are a team of 20 employe and 4 of them are homosexual. Out of the ~20 trips I've done over the past 2 years, maybe half of them were wh a gay worker. I don't know if they're jt bad appl, or if most gay men are like this, but I've seen them do nasty thgs.

In that picture, there was a guy the background and one of the gay guys asked if she uld try to take a close up of him. The same guy even told me he once got a match on Grdr wh one of my heterosexual workers while on a trip, he was very eager to tell me that this worker was "fely the closet, but was beg very gay while on the road". A Black gay woman who worked at a Tla Inc.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* BLACK GAY COWORKER

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class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs elpfHZ ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp lkJlKO"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT dmqhlj"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX cJdXjE bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></div></div></div><div class="CategoriWrapper-eMCIFk cpVCog"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CategoriTle-cMBOtj iUEiRd dvcCNx kGAcPq">Related Condn Centers</div><ul class="CategoriItemList-dxlBtg dfKhbi"><li class="CategoriItem-koxRoi izXxEa"><a href="/health-ndns/mental-health" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM CategoriLk-gvtVYn iUEiRd fPqUbj kWQQCL fyQJtX">Mental Health</a></li></ul></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bjcNOB gydgrM">Your Black Coworkers Are Still Not Okay—Here’s How to Support Them</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ bZgCVT">This is only the begng.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gKcujo byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fPqUbj IWACp eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/patia-brahwae">Patia Brahwae</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2020-07-31T12:20:56-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd danQKH MlCHH">July 31, 2020</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" 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src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE qDPBn ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN loMSDX"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Josephe Rais/Adobe Stock</span></div></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fgMkJI social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>This month SELF terviewed ne <a href=">Black journalists</a> about how they were <a href=">pg</a> while verg the news. Said another way: We spoke to Black people about how they managed to “go to work” when their jobs volve lookg directly at Black sufferg and ath.</p><p><a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Tre’vell Anrson</a>, a eelance journalist and film cric, shared what means to be visible a Black body durg this particular moment. “I’m hopg <a href=">self-re</a> will start for me July as I am able to breathe while the rt of the world go back to ignorg Black people and ignorg LGBTQ folks,” Anrson, who is also host of the <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><em>FANTI</em> podst</a>, explaed.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>It’s almost Augt, and Anrson’s words feel slightly prophetic. <a href=">Breonna Taylor</a>’s killers haven’t been arrted (only one officer has been fired, and the other three are still workg). Feral agents and lol police officers are tear-gassg <a href=">protters Portland</a>, Oregon, and <a href=">NYPD officers forced Nikki Stone</a>, an 18-year-old protter, to an unmarked van earlier this week. But pany-sanctned solidary displays and town hall meetgs have begun to fa en masse as many well-tentned people have shuffled back to endls rporate liverabl. So ’s a good time to remd <a href=">whe and non-Black alli</a>: The fight for jtice is long. And many of your Black lleagu are <em>still</em> not okay.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>“When we talk about allyship… ’s not jt sayg, ‘Hey, I support you,’ quietly,” Kimberly B. Cummgs, a rporate diversy and cln profsnal and founr of <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Manift Yourself</a>, tells SELF. “Beg an ally is about havg a voice and standg up when you see jtice.”</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="499boe"></div></div><p>Your pany may have lnched a diversy and cln iative the wake of the nversatns about racial jtice and anti-Blackns, or maybe ’s remtg to one already had before. If you work somewhere wh this kd of group, that’s great, but that don’t let dividuals off the hook. There are thgs you n do to fight racism at work no matter where you s on the rporate ladr or what broar iativ the powers that be have put to place. Below, we’ve piled a list of ways you n ntue to show up for your Black lleagu.</p><h2>1. Edute yourself on how racism n prent the workplace.</h2><p>“Non-Black people need to check wh themselv, and they need to do anti-racist work,” Deonna Q., 27, a social media strategist, tells SELF. She pots out the larger problems that exist wh a rporatn (like the lack of promotns for Black employe) are often evint daily teractns (like mixg up the only two Black people on staff). <a href=">Edutg yourself</a> and mtg to your own anti-racism work will allow you to see equi more clearly, and will give you the language and tools you need to articulate (and learn about) how systems might be reimaged. “[Change] has to e top-down and bottom-up, so we n meet the middle and together have a plan,” Cummgs says. “Bee then, no one is silenced.”</p><h2>2. Don’t tomatilly expect your Black workers to talk to you about race.</h2><p>It’s enuragg that you want to support your Black lleagu the workplace, but that don’t necsarily mean you should expect they’ll want you to <em>emotnally</em> support them. If your Black lleague don’t regularly talk to you about personal problems (thk a <a href=">spat wh their partner</a>, issu wh -laws, or even a tratg traffic jam), you might not be the person they’re gog to turn to when to racism, Cummgs says. And that’s fe. Luckily, there are other ways to lend support that don’t require your Black lleague to do any <a href=">emotnal labor</a>, which we’ll explore on this list. If you’re close wh your worker, ’s fe to broach the subject litely, but remember that everyone is different, and the vatn to talk might not be well-received.</p><h2>3. Fd ncrete ways to support Black lleagu.</h2><p>Askg how someone is dog om a good place, right? And durg the panmic, <a href="> has been an opportuny</a> for all to be more hont. But this particular ntext, don’t do much to help alleviate profsnal and personal burns, do ? Instead of only askg how your lleagu are, thk through actnable, ncrete ways you n support Black workers. This is pecially important if your lleague don’t want to talk to you about how they feel. It’s also very helpful if you’re a manager. Katie T.*, 33, a crimal fense attorney, tells SELF that while the recent strg of police vlence has brought creased abily to do more to protect the rights of her clients, this has had an adverse effect on her own personal welfare. “There are only a few Black attorneys,” she tells SELF. “And there was no dividualized quiry to our well-beg om higher-ups.” She adds that while some workers reached out, management (who is a posn to provi addnal rourc) did not. If you’re a manager, you might be able to offer time off (whout havg to e PTO), mental health support, or other specific rourc and tools to help make your employe’ workloads more manageable.</p><h2>4. Allow your Black lleagu space to exprs themselv or be silent.</h2><p>“My non-Black workers n ntue to give me my space, and allow me to speak up or not pendg on how I feel,” Rachel K., 36, who works the entertament dtry, tells SELF. It n be hard to tu what someone else needs, but givg your Black workers space to speak up or rema silent allows them to <a href=">procs their own feelgs</a>. If a Black worker of yours clearly don’t want to talk about race or racial jtice wh you, leave be. And if they do, don’t sh to change the subject out of your own disfort.</p><h2>5. Listen to your Black workers.</h2><p>Alexandria G., 34, a middle-<a href=">school</a> teacher, tells SELF that the most important way non-Black lleagu n lend support is to “have our backs” when challeng arise. Y, there have been town halls, panel discsns, touch-bas, check-s, team huddl, and cuddle puddl—but there’s a strong chance that your Black workers have a lndry list of moments when they’ve been profsnally overlooked, unrtimated, or mistreated. So today, tomorrow, and on all of the days when systemic racism isn’t top of md, listen and nsir the perspectiv of your Black workers. Most important, this isn’t limed to when they’re talkg about racism. Listen when they’re dog the jobs they were hired to perform.</p><h2>6. Elevate your Black workers meetgs and other profsnal settgs.</h2><p>When you agree wh a Black lleague’s ia or appreciate their ntributns, be vol about . Openly agree and openly acknowledge those ntributns, pecially if other lleagu regularly ignore or disregard what your Black workers have to say. You n also highlight acplishments (as appropriate) to make sure that your lleagu are gettg the cred and attentn they serve, but make sure you’re not patronizg—do when feels natural or when ’s clear that ntributns are beg misattributed or downright overlooked. “Alli n make sure they are gog to bat for …about the way we do our job,” Katie explas.</p><h2>7. Be transparent about your pay.</h2><p><a href=">Money nversatns</a> n be unfortable, but beg open about salari mak pay equi harr to mata. Suggtg an anonymo spreadsheet, or some other way of sharg salari, breaks the culture of silence around money that hurts anyone who isn’t a whe man, TBH. If you have a very close Black lleague, one of the kst thgs you n do is offer to discs salary if and when they’re ready. (Don’t ph anyone, and don’t assume you’re makg more. It’s entirely possible that salary transparency will benef <em>you</em> as well.) FWIW, most employers nnot ban you om havg a salary discsn (though there are some exceptns to this), acrdg to the <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Natnal Labor Relatns Act</a>.</p><h2>8. If you’re a manager, exame your recg and hirg practic.</h2><p>“If you are the <a href=">posn to hire</a>, actnable change clus more Black hir and more mentorship,” Cienne R., 36, a fashn signer, tells SELF. “If you look around your room and you realize that there are not different people, that’s also your ll to actn,” Cummgs says. But creatg real diversy and cln don’t stop at hirg and thgs like implic bias trag. Cummgs asks: “What is the root issue at your anizatn that you’re not talkg about?” Acrdg to Cummgs, hirg managers should asss how fortable they are discsg diversy, what their current recment practic entail, whether or not there’s any ternal mobily among Black employe, and whether or not the pany do a good job retag the Black employe they have. “Most of the issu fall to one of those four tegori,” she says.</p><h2>9. Remember that you n make an impact, even if you’re not a manager.</h2><p>To figure out how you n impact change, Cummgs suggts you “look at your day-to-day” <a href=">rponsibili</a> and teractns. She asks: “How do what’s gog on the world impact your work?” Cummgs also suggts formg groups and alns wh members at (and below) your level so that those wh ls power wh the pany have a unified pipele to voice and addrs their ncerns. “I believe everyone is a lear,” Cummgs explas. “I do not re if you’re an executive assistant or if you are a CEO.” This is also a good time to refer back to our fifth tip—any chang or plans you stute should have buy- om your Black lleagu. Make sure that you’re listeng to the ncerns they’ve voiced and that you’re not dog anythg to make their liv harr.</p><h2>10. Plan for a marathon, not a sprt.</h2><p>Y, alli need to prepare for a long slow fight, but this don’t mean they need to be placent. If your employer hosted three town hall meetgs, you n jo mte, send follow up emails, and form workg groups to <a href=">keep the momentum gog</a>. Iniativ like town halls won’t be helpful if there’s no follow-up and no actn plan, Cienne says. If you’d like to help your Black workers, ph higher-ups to munite ongog chang, and show everyone that anti-racist workplac are a prry that won’t be ignored.</p><h2>11. Expect to make mistak.</h2><p>It n be very hard to fd the right words to navigate the moment, Cummgs adms. And tthfully, when you’re tryg to speak out agast racism, you might say the wrong thgs. This n absolutely be sry (pecially a profsnal ntext), but ’s important to talk about the ways <a href=">systemic racism</a> and anti-Blackns impact your workplace. Whe supremacy thriv, part, when people ignore s existence. “We have to give everyone grace as they’re figurg out how to have a lot of the nversatns,” Cummgs says. “I intify as a Black woman, and I’ve never talked about race the way that I have now.” If you aren’t gettg rrected or havg unfortable nversatns, there’s a strong chance you’re not takg many risks.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>*<em>Name has been changed.</em></p><p><strong>Related:</strong></p><ul><li><p><a href=">14 Black LGBTQ+ Folks on How They’re Takg Care of Themselv Right Now</a></p></li><li><p><a href=">5 Ways Whe People Can Be Helpful Right Now</a></p></li><li><p><a href=">18 Helpful Lks for Whe People to Drop Our Group Chats</a></p></li></ul></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="bcm3hm"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu hEUvfU ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"><div class="ContributorBWrapper-bnVHbt fTIPSP"><div class="ContributorBAvatar-bIGTqf kRLWCa"><a href="/ntributor/patia-brahwae"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 80w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 90w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span></a></div><div class="ContributorBContent-ubQdr jZTSSi"><div class="ContributorBHear-ledood XOIEx"></div><div class="ContributorBB-fBolsO wPiP"><a href="/ntributor/patia-brahwae">Patia Brahwae</a> is a wrer and prevly was an edor at SELF startg May 2019. She was prevly the wellns edor at Refery29, and her eelance work has appeared the <em>Washgton Post and</em> VICE. She liv Brooklyn, where, spe her by schle, she spends an unbelievable amount of... <a href="/ntributor/patia-brahwae">Read more</a></div><div class="ContributorBFooter-brqDlv ezUmSv"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"><li class="SocialInsListItem-mbhR fxaFQj social-ins__list-em social-ins__list-em--twter social-ins__list-em--standard"><a aria-label="Follow Patia Brahwae on Twter" class="external-lk SocialInExternalLk-huuzOU cLGRzS social-ins__lk social-ins__lk--twter" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><div class="SocialInContaer-huXzUC pMzVC social-ins__in-ntaer"><svg class="SocialInNetworkInComponent-cZaKGz dlOAhZ in in-twter" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Twter</tle><path d="M13.032 22.003C19.07 22.003 22.372 17.001 22.372 12.663C22.3719 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class="recirc-list-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan ContentFooterRelated-kEBiFe kVUuwq"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 SummaryCollectnGridComponent-ktyEog bdTTVU summary-llectn-grid RecircListDefltOverlaySummaryCollectnGrid-AHJhY bEaXiL recirc-list__ems summary-llectn-grid--four-lumns summary-llectn-grid--TextBelowLeft"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="SummaryCollectnGridContent-eVUpRm gOErDJ"><div class="SectnTleRoot-dBGvdq fxVSsn SummaryCollectnGridSectnTle-fCmYwG izjbVn" data-ttid="SectnTle"><hear class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SectnTleHed-dKqZet dxqEAa iuxgWr jttyjJ">More om Self</hear></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridItems-DZShR iJAxgH hi-read-more-ad" data-ttid="SummaryCollectnGridItems"><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="7 Therapist Red Flags You Should Never Ignore" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">7 Therapist Red Flags You Should Never Ignore</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">There are some not-so-obv thgs a mental health profsnal should never do.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Grieve and Eventually Move On After a Friend Dumps You" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Grieve and Eventually Move On After a Friend Dumps You</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Confn, anger, and sadns are totally normal when you’ve lost your person.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="7 Easy and Non-Corny Ways to Practice Gratu Every Day" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">7 Easy and Non-Corny Ways to Practice Gratu Every Day</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Don’t roll your ey—the mental and physil health benefs are leg.</div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="9sx1d"></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Fd a Doctor Who Isn’t Laser-Foced on Your Weight" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Fd a Doctor Who Isn’t Laser-Foced on Your Weight</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Everyone serv to be treated as a whole person—not jt a number on a sle.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Everyone Has Relatnship Deal-Breakers. Here’s How to Intify Yours" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Everyone Has Relatnship Deal-Breakers. Here’s How to Intify Yours</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Pl the bt, non-awkward ways to brg them up.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Use a Fns Tracker Whout Lettg It Rule Your Life" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Use a Fns Tracker Whout Lettg It Rule Your Life</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">The nstant remrs to get more steps or burn more lori n be triggerg—pecially for perfectnists.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Stop Comparg Your Current Body to Your Former One" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Stop Comparg Your Current Body to Your Former One</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">It’s easy to romanticize the past, but we’re not meant to look the same our whole liv.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-8" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="3 Thgs to Do When You Overthk Everythg and Can’t Make Decisns" 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