A gay-owned Virgia rtrant is a dispute wh s neighbors - Washgton Post

Contents:

• A GAY UPLE RAN A RAL RTRANT PEACE. THEN NEW NEIGHBORS ARRIVED.
• HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH: ANTI-GAY LAWS PROMOTE VLENCE, DISCRIMATN ST. VCENT
• JAGUARS ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR U.S.-BASED PRO LEAGU
• THUNR WAIVE RUDY GAY
• TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS SHARE WHY THEY REFE TO BE VERS"I FEEL MOST NFINT BOTTOMG."{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}CULTUREBY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 19, 2021/1:35 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:4912PX;WIDTH:7360PX;}GETTY IMAGSHOT A YOUNG UPLE HAVG AN ARGUMENT THE BEDROOM AT HOMEBY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 19, 2021 / 1:35 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS SHARE WHY THEY REFE TO BE VERS","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2021-11-19T18:35:41.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2021-11-19T18:35:41.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"BOBBY BOX","KEYWORDS":"LOVE AND SEX","ARTICLESECTN":"CULTURE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN TO POSNAL PREFERENC, VERSATILY IS LARGELY REGARD AS THE MOST PROGRSIVE OPTN FOR QUEER MEN. STICKG TO THE BARY OF “TOP” AND “BOTTOM” N LIM WHAT ONE DO THE BEDROOM, AND QUEER FOLKS SHOULD FEEL EMPOWERED TO FUCK WHOEVER AND HOWEVER THEY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN THEORY, THIS THKG TRACKS, BUT DON’T ALWAYS HOLD UP PRACTICE. AFTER SPEAKG WH MANY GAY, BISEXUAL, AND QUEER MEN WHO INTIFY AS “TOTAL TOPS” OR “TOTAL BOTTOMS” (MEANG THEY HAVE NO SIRE TO DIVERSIFY THEIR POSNAL PREFERENCE), I'VE LEARNED ABOUT A NUMBER OF LEGIMATE REASONS ONE MAY HAVE NO TERT SWCHG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANTHONY, A 35-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN AND “G OUT ACH,” INTIFI AS A TOTAL TOP. HE HAS ONLY BOTTOMED ONCE HIS LIFE, AND ALTHOUGH WASN’T BAD, HE HAS “NO TERT” BEG VERSATILE. “I'M STRICTLY A TOP BEE BOTTOMG IS PAFUL, EASY AS THAT,” HE TELLS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANTHONY ALSO SAYS BOTTOMG IS “TIED TO SUBMISSN” FOR HIM, A MON ASSOCIATN AMONG QUEER MEN ROOTED TOXIC MASCULY. IN FACT, ONE STUDY FOUND TOPS ARE MOST LIKELY TO MANIFT HIGHER LEVELS OF TERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND MORE LIKELY TO REJECT A GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“REARCH DO SHOW THAT TOPS ARE MORE LIKELY TO INTIFY AS TRADNALLY MASCULE OR DOMANT, SO TOPPG MAY BE A PART OF THAT MASCULE OR DOMANT INTY,” DR. TREVOR HART, A CLIL PSYCHOLOGIST AND BEHAVRAL SCIENTIST FOCG ON THE SEXUAL AND MENTAL HEALTH OF MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN, TELLS LOGO.GETTY IMAGSAD GAY MAN HAVG PROBLEMS WH HIS BOYIEND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}FOR SELF-SCRIBED “REER BOTTOM” ROLANDO, 29, NFINCE PLAYS A LARGE PART HIS RIGID POSNAL PREFERENCE. “I DID TOP ONE TIME WH MY THEN-BOYIEND, BUT ’S NOT WHAT I LIKE OR EXCEL AT,” HE SAYS. “THAT, TURN, HAS CREATED A B OF ERTIA, WHERE BEE ’S WHAT I’VE DONE THE MOST, I FEEL MOST NFINT BOTTOMG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ROLANDO EXPLAS THAT EVEN WH A PARTNER HE LOVED, HE STILL EXPERIENCED CHALLENG LIKE STAYG HARD AND FDG A POSN THAT WORKED FOR BOTH HIM AND HIS PARTNER. “I'D SENTIALLY HAVE TO FD SOMEONE WHO IS WILLG TO AL WH A BEGNER-TOP, WH MY PERFORMANCE ANXIETY AND STAYG HARD, AND ALL FOR SOMETHG THAT ULTIMATELY DON’T EVEN FEEL THAT GOOD TO ME? I'D RATHER JT BOTTOM.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DR. HART’S REARCH, WHICH POLLED 205 GAY MALE PARTICIPANTS ON SUBJECTS LIKE SELF-LABELS AND SEXUAL BEHAVR, WAS PUBLISHED THE JOURNAL OF SEX REARCH 2003. HE UNVERED A NUMBER OF TERTG RRELATNS, CLUDG THAT VERSATIL SEEM TO ENJOY BETTER PSYCHOLOGIL HEALTH, WHICH ULD BE DUE TO THEIR GREATER SEXUAL SENSATN-SEEKG, RCED FEARS AROUND SEX, AND GREATER FORT WH A VARIETY OF ROL AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“ON THE OTHER HAND, TOTAL BOTTOMS MIGHT PERCEIVE TOPPG TO BE TOO DOMANT OR UNFORTABLE, OR THAT THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PERFORM, TO HAVE AN ASM, OR TO PLEASURE THEIR PARTNER WHILE TOPPG,” HART {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SHAME ASSOCIATED WH PENIS SIZE OR SHAPE WAS ANOTHER PREVAILG FACTOR AMONG THE MEN I TERVIEWED. “THE MA REASON I DON’T TOP IS BEE MY DICK ISN’T REALLY SHAPED A WAY THAT MAK FORTABLE,” BNO, A 23-YEAR-OLD WHO HAS ONLY TOPPED ONCE, SHAR. “IT’S ALMOST STRAIGHT UP AND DON’T LIKE TO BEND OUTWARD OR FORWARD WHEN FULLY HARD. I ALSO DON’T EXPERIENCE AS MUCH SENSATN AS I THK MOST PEOPLE DO, SO ’S JT UNFORTABLE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEN THE PRSURE OM SIZE QUEENS. REARCH PUBLISHED THE ARCHIV OF SEXUAL BEHAVR 2010 FOUND THAT THE SMALLER SOMEBODY PERCEIVED THE SIZE OF THEIR PENIS, THE MORE LIKELY THEY WERE TO INTIFY AS A BOTTOM. AFTER SURVEYG 1,065 GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN, ONLY 29.2% OF TOPS FALL UNR “BELOW AVERAGE” PENIS SIZE, PARED TO 32% OF VERSATIL AND 39% OF BOTTOMS. CONVERSELY, THE BIGGER THEIR PERCEIVED PENIS SIZE, THE MORE LIKELY SUBJECTS WERE TO INTIFY AS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}REARCHERS NCLUD MASCULY WAS YET AGA A POTENTIAL FACTOR SCE ONE’S PENIS SIZE IS OFTEN ACCURATELY REGARD AS A SYMBOL OF ONE’S GREE OF MASCULY, AND JUDGEMENT OM SEXUAL PARTNERS MIGHT MAKE SOMEONE WH AN AVERAGE OR SMALLER-THAN-AVERAGE PENIS LS NFINT TOPPG.GETTY IMAGMAN'S HAND HOLDS H RIPE EGGPLANT ON A WHE BACKGROUND. HARVTG NCEPT. AN ALLEGORY ON THE SIZE OF MALE SEX OGANS. SIZE PARISON. IMAG FOR THE MALE DOCTOR'S {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INFLEXIBLE POSNAL PREFERENC N ALSO STEM OM TRMATIC SEXUAL EXPERIENC. INGO, 50, WAS AN ABIVE RELATNSHIP FOR 18 MONTHS AND SAYS HE WAS SEXUALLY ASSLTED THROUGHOUT. HE NOW INTIFI AS A TOTAL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“IT WAS A MIX OF ERCN, THREATS TO THROW ME OUT AND LL MY GRANDFATHER TO SPILL ALL THE TAILS OF OUR SEX LIFE,” HE TELLS LOGO. “THE KICKER WAS THAT HE HIMSELF WAS A BOTTOM MOST OF HIS LIFE, SO RETROSPECT, I ASSUME THAT WAS AN EARLY EXAMPLE OF AN INTY CRISIS BORRG ON FALSE IAS OF MASCULY ON HIS END.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INGO HAS TRIED BOTTOMG THE 30 YEARS SCE THAT ABIVE RELATNSHIP, BUT HE WASN'T ABLE TO ENJOY EVEN WH ANOTHER PAST PARTNER HE TSTED. “I SOMETIM WONR IF THERE WAS SOMETHG TAKEN AWAY OM ME,” HE ADMS AFTER A PSE. “BUT THE CURSY AND THE WISH TO EXPERIMENT WENT UP SMOKE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE ARE JT A FEW OF THE MANY MSAG I RECEIVED OM TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS WHO WERE GRAC WH THEIR VULNERABILY. AND WHILE ONE MIGHT LOGILLY ASSUME THAT SOMEONE’S SEXUAL PREFERENCE IS TERMED BY THEIR LIK AND DISLIK THE BEDROOM, REARCH AND TTIMONY SUGGTS IS NOT THAT SIMPLE. EVEN AMONG THE RELATIVELY SMALL SAMPLG OF TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS I TERVIEWED, MOST NFSED THEY’D ONLY TRIED THE OPPOSG POSN ONCE OR A FEW {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INTRIGUED, I ASKED HART IF HE THKS SOCIAL PRSUR MIGHT ECLIPSE ONE’S ACTUAL ENJOYMENT THEIR INTI. HE SAYS IS LIKELY TE FOR A LOT OF MEN. “IF A GUY HAS NCERNS ABOUT KEEPG ERECTNS OR ABOUT PLEASURG HIS PARTNER AS A TOP, HE IS UNLIKELY TO TOP. THIS IS ALSO THE SE FOR GUYS WHO’VE BEEN TOLD THEY AREN’T GREAT AT BOTTOMG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}STRIPPED OF ALL NUANCE, NVENTNAL IAS OF WHAT IS “MASCULE” APPEAR TO PLAY A LARGE ROLE HOW QUEER MEN HAVE SEX. WHETHER THIS MANIFTS OUR NFINCE, OUR PERCEPTN OF SIZE, OR THE REPERCSNS OF A PAST PARTNER'S OWN TERNALIZED BIAS, SEEMS MOST OF ARE WILLG AND OPEN TO BE MORE VERSATILE. WE JT LACK THE SELF-ASSURANCE TO ACT ON {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AT THE END OF THE DAY, SEX IS BT WHEN YOU DO WHAT MAK YOU MOST FORTABLE, SO SET BOUNDARI AND DO YOU. BUT PERHAPS THE RMATN ABOVE WILL MAKE SOME RENSIR WHY THEY AREN’T OPEN TO EXPERIENCG A FULLER SPECTM OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}LOVE AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

A GAY UPLE RAN A RAL RTRANT PEACE. THEN NEW NEIGHBORS ARRIVED.

The bsman and his wife, Melissa, first plaed to the Front Porch proprietors about pre-dawn vendor liveri 2019, not long after the nservative Christian uple moved their fancial firm right next door to the rtrant, which fli a gay Pri flag. (Front Porch Market and Grill)What’s more, the Washers say, the ad rat was jt one more sult that the uple, who once planted an “all liv matter” sign their ont yard, have endured sce movg next door to a rtrant owned by a gay uple.

They married 2020, five years after they opened the Front Porch, which quickly beme a statn The Front Porch has been flyg a Pri flag on s pat sce 2016, not long after a gunman killed 49 people a gay bar Orlando.

HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH: ANTI-GAY LAWS PROMOTE VLENCE, DISCRIMATN ST. VCENT

Waybourn was print of the Dallas Gay Alliance when sued Parkland Memorial Hospal for failg to provi readily available medic to AIDS patients. In 1991, he lnched the Gay and Lbian Victory Fund (now the LGBTQ+ Victory Fund) to elect openly gay policians to office.

He served as managg director of the Gay & Lbian Alliance Agast Defamatn, or GLAAD, which he helped turn to a natnal group. He owned gay newspapers Hoton, Atlanta, New York and Washgton. “I had so many threats agast me that even the Dallas police statned squad rs outsi our home, ” Waybourn an activist, Waybourn says, his goals were clear: same-sex marriage, gays and lbians the ary, accs to lifavg medic.

To the activist, feels like a step backward after a lifetime of fightg for gay pack the seats at the Board of Zong Appeals hearg hosted at Grace Epispal Church. “I have que a few gay iends, clients and a fay member, and I have patronized a gay-owned rtrant for years, ” he whether the Washers are tryg to remake The Plas to their image of Ameri — Whe, nservative, Christian — Melissa said, “I n see where you’re g om. Vcent to overturn anti-gay laws om the lonial era that have led to a recent wave of vlence and genr discrimatn on the small Caribbean island.

JAGUARS ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR U.S.-BASED PRO LEAGU

Homosexualy ntu to be crimalized the former Brish lony after many hundreds of years, leavg LGBTQ dividuals wh ltle if any legal protectns while vlent crim were beg mted wh impuny, the report said. Standg crimal s on the island put nsensual gay sex the same tegory as crim like rape, ct, and sexual asslt, although there have been no recent nvictns unr the law.

THUNR WAIVE RUDY GAY

Gay people have been targeted by fay members, neighbors, -workers, classmat and teachers -- as well as police officers, the report said. In many of the episos, police allegedly refed to offer assistance, and some s beme openly discrimatory toward gay victims.

Gay workers were also facg job discrimatn a natn already bet by high unemployment. Many of the terviewe said job hirgs and firgs were beg largely termed by sexual orientatn, while other gay people lucky to have jobs faced sexual harassment the workplace. "The crimalizatn of gay sex giv tac state sanctn to the discrimatn and vlence that LGBT people experience their daily liv and pels many to look abroad to live eely and fulfill their dreams, " said Cristian González Cabrera, gay rights rearcher at Human Rights Watch.

TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS SHARE WHY THEY REFE TO BE VERS"I FEEL MOST NFINT BOTTOMG."{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}CULTUREBY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 19, 2021/1:35 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:4912PX;WIDTH:7360PX;}GETTY IMAGSHOT A YOUNG UPLE HAVG AN ARGUMENT THE BEDROOM AT HOMEBY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 19, 2021 / 1:35 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS SHARE WHY THEY REFE TO BE VERS","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2021-11-19T18:35:41.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2021-11-19T18:35:41.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"BOBBY BOX","KEYWORDS":"LOVE AND SEX","ARTICLESECTN":"CULTURE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN TO POSNAL PREFERENC, VERSATILY IS LARGELY REGARD AS THE MOST PROGRSIVE OPTN FOR QUEER MEN. STICKG TO THE BARY OF “TOP” AND “BOTTOM” N LIM WHAT ONE DO THE BEDROOM, AND QUEER FOLKS SHOULD FEEL EMPOWERED TO FUCK WHOEVER AND HOWEVER THEY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN THEORY, THIS THKG TRACKS, BUT DON’T ALWAYS HOLD UP PRACTICE. AFTER SPEAKG WH MANY GAY, BISEXUAL, AND QUEER MEN WHO INTIFY AS “TOTAL TOPS” OR “TOTAL BOTTOMS” (MEANG THEY HAVE NO SIRE TO DIVERSIFY THEIR POSNAL PREFERENCE), I'VE LEARNED ABOUT A NUMBER OF LEGIMATE REASONS ONE MAY HAVE NO TERT SWCHG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANTHONY, A 35-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN AND “G OUT ACH,” INTIFI AS A TOTAL TOP. HE HAS ONLY BOTTOMED ONCE HIS LIFE, AND ALTHOUGH WASN’T BAD, HE HAS “NO TERT” BEG VERSATILE. “I'M STRICTLY A TOP BEE BOTTOMG IS PAFUL, EASY AS THAT,” HE TELLS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANTHONY ALSO SAYS BOTTOMG IS “TIED TO SUBMISSN” FOR HIM, A MON ASSOCIATN AMONG QUEER MEN ROOTED TOXIC MASCULY. IN FACT, ONE STUDY FOUND TOPS ARE MOST LIKELY TO MANIFT HIGHER LEVELS OF TERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND MORE LIKELY TO REJECT A GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“REARCH DO SHOW THAT TOPS ARE MORE LIKELY TO INTIFY AS TRADNALLY MASCULE OR DOMANT, SO TOPPG MAY BE A PART OF THAT MASCULE OR DOMANT INTY,” DR. TREVOR HART, A CLIL PSYCHOLOGIST AND BEHAVRAL SCIENTIST FOCG ON THE SEXUAL AND MENTAL HEALTH OF MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN, TELLS LOGO.GETTY IMAGSAD GAY MAN HAVG PROBLEMS WH HIS BOYIEND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}FOR SELF-SCRIBED “REER BOTTOM” ROLANDO, 29, NFINCE PLAYS A LARGE PART HIS RIGID POSNAL PREFERENCE. “I DID TOP ONE TIME WH MY THEN-BOYIEND, BUT ’S NOT WHAT I LIKE OR EXCEL AT,” HE SAYS. “THAT, TURN, HAS CREATED A B OF ERTIA, WHERE BEE ’S WHAT I’VE DONE THE MOST, I FEEL MOST NFINT BOTTOMG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ROLANDO EXPLAS THAT EVEN WH A PARTNER HE LOVED, HE STILL EXPERIENCED CHALLENG LIKE STAYG HARD AND FDG A POSN THAT WORKED FOR BOTH HIM AND HIS PARTNER. “I'D SENTIALLY HAVE TO FD SOMEONE WHO IS WILLG TO AL WH A BEGNER-TOP, WH MY PERFORMANCE ANXIETY AND STAYG HARD, AND ALL FOR SOMETHG THAT ULTIMATELY DON’T EVEN FEEL THAT GOOD TO ME? I'D RATHER JT BOTTOM.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DR. HART’S REARCH, WHICH POLLED 205 GAY MALE PARTICIPANTS ON SUBJECTS LIKE SELF-LABELS AND SEXUAL BEHAVR, WAS PUBLISHED THE JOURNAL OF SEX REARCH 2003. HE UNVERED A NUMBER OF TERTG RRELATNS, CLUDG THAT VERSATIL SEEM TO ENJOY BETTER PSYCHOLOGIL HEALTH, WHICH ULD BE DUE TO THEIR GREATER SEXUAL SENSATN-SEEKG, RCED FEARS AROUND SEX, AND GREATER FORT WH A VARIETY OF ROL AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“ON THE OTHER HAND, TOTAL BOTTOMS MIGHT PERCEIVE TOPPG TO BE TOO DOMANT OR UNFORTABLE, OR THAT THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PERFORM, TO HAVE AN ASM, OR TO PLEASURE THEIR PARTNER WHILE TOPPG,” HART {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SHAME ASSOCIATED WH PENIS SIZE OR SHAPE WAS ANOTHER PREVAILG FACTOR AMONG THE MEN I TERVIEWED. “THE MA REASON I DON’T TOP IS BEE MY DICK ISN’T REALLY SHAPED A WAY THAT MAK FORTABLE,” BNO, A 23-YEAR-OLD WHO HAS ONLY TOPPED ONCE, SHAR. “IT’S ALMOST STRAIGHT UP AND DON’T LIKE TO BEND OUTWARD OR FORWARD WHEN FULLY HARD. I ALSO DON’T EXPERIENCE AS MUCH SENSATN AS I THK MOST PEOPLE DO, SO ’S JT UNFORTABLE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEN THE PRSURE OM SIZE QUEENS. REARCH PUBLISHED THE ARCHIV OF SEXUAL BEHAVR 2010 FOUND THAT THE SMALLER SOMEBODY PERCEIVED THE SIZE OF THEIR PENIS, THE MORE LIKELY THEY WERE TO INTIFY AS A BOTTOM. AFTER SURVEYG 1,065 GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN, ONLY 29.2% OF TOPS FALL UNR “BELOW AVERAGE” PENIS SIZE, PARED TO 32% OF VERSATIL AND 39% OF BOTTOMS. CONVERSELY, THE BIGGER THEIR PERCEIVED PENIS SIZE, THE MORE LIKELY SUBJECTS WERE TO INTIFY AS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}REARCHERS NCLUD MASCULY WAS YET AGA A POTENTIAL FACTOR SCE ONE’S PENIS SIZE IS OFTEN ACCURATELY REGARD AS A SYMBOL OF ONE’S GREE OF MASCULY, AND JUDGEMENT OM SEXUAL PARTNERS MIGHT MAKE SOMEONE WH AN AVERAGE OR SMALLER-THAN-AVERAGE PENIS LS NFINT TOPPG.GETTY IMAGMAN'S HAND HOLDS H RIPE EGGPLANT ON A WHE BACKGROUND. HARVTG NCEPT. AN ALLEGORY ON THE SIZE OF MALE SEX OGANS. SIZE PARISON. IMAG FOR THE MALE DOCTOR'S {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INFLEXIBLE POSNAL PREFERENC N ALSO STEM OM TRMATIC SEXUAL EXPERIENC. INGO, 50, WAS AN ABIVE RELATNSHIP FOR 18 MONTHS AND SAYS HE WAS SEXUALLY ASSLTED THROUGHOUT. HE NOW INTIFI AS A TOTAL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“IT WAS A MIX OF ERCN, THREATS TO THROW ME OUT AND LL MY GRANDFATHER TO SPILL ALL THE TAILS OF OUR SEX LIFE,” HE TELLS LOGO. “THE KICKER WAS THAT HE HIMSELF WAS A BOTTOM MOST OF HIS LIFE, SO RETROSPECT, I ASSUME THAT WAS AN EARLY EXAMPLE OF AN INTY CRISIS BORRG ON FALSE IAS OF MASCULY ON HIS END.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INGO HAS TRIED BOTTOMG THE 30 YEARS SCE THAT ABIVE RELATNSHIP, BUT HE WASN'T ABLE TO ENJOY EVEN WH ANOTHER PAST PARTNER HE TSTED. “I SOMETIM WONR IF THERE WAS SOMETHG TAKEN AWAY OM ME,” HE ADMS AFTER A PSE. “BUT THE CURSY AND THE WISH TO EXPERIMENT WENT UP SMOKE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE ARE JT A FEW OF THE MANY MSAG I RECEIVED OM TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS WHO WERE GRAC WH THEIR VULNERABILY. AND WHILE ONE MIGHT LOGILLY ASSUME THAT SOMEONE’S SEXUAL PREFERENCE IS TERMED BY THEIR LIK AND DISLIK THE BEDROOM, REARCH AND TTIMONY SUGGTS IS NOT THAT SIMPLE. EVEN AMONG THE RELATIVELY SMALL SAMPLG OF TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS I TERVIEWED, MOST NFSED THEY’D ONLY TRIED THE OPPOSG POSN ONCE OR A FEW {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INTRIGUED, I ASKED HART IF HE THKS SOCIAL PRSUR MIGHT ECLIPSE ONE’S ACTUAL ENJOYMENT THEIR INTI. HE SAYS IS LIKELY TE FOR A LOT OF MEN. “IF A GUY HAS NCERNS ABOUT KEEPG ERECTNS OR ABOUT PLEASURG HIS PARTNER AS A TOP, HE IS UNLIKELY TO TOP. THIS IS ALSO THE SE FOR GUYS WHO’VE BEEN TOLD THEY AREN’T GREAT AT BOTTOMG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}STRIPPED OF ALL NUANCE, NVENTNAL IAS OF WHAT IS “MASCULE” APPEAR TO PLAY A LARGE ROLE HOW QUEER MEN HAVE SEX. WHETHER THIS MANIFTS OUR NFINCE, OUR PERCEPTN OF SIZE, OR THE REPERCSNS OF A PAST PARTNER'S OWN TERNALIZED BIAS, SEEMS MOST OF ARE WILLG AND OPEN TO BE MORE VERSATILE. WE JT LACK THE SELF-ASSURANCE TO ACT ON {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AT THE END OF THE DAY, SEX IS BT WHEN YOU DO WHAT MAK YOU MOST FORTABLE, SO SET BOUNDARI AND DO YOU. BUT PERHAPS THE RMATN ABOVE WILL MAKE SOME RENSIR WHY THEY AREN’T OPEN TO EXPERIENCG A FULLER SPECTM OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}LOVE AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

Six other Wtern natns -- cludg Domi, Grenada, Guyana, Jamai, and Sat Lucia -- ntue to crimalize gay sex, wh penalti as weighty as a prison for "gross cency wh another person of the same sex. -based profsnal league to e out as gay. Michael Sam beme the first openly gay player to be drafted when the then-St.

While not everyone subscrib to those labels, for many queer people, and pecially gay men, llg yourself a top, bottom, or vers n be a way to help fd potential partners and hookups. The nonbary actor and mol posted an Instagram story back 2020 showg a "gay stg alignment chart" wh a red arrow potg towards the "top" posn and the words "this is how I was stg when I read this meme. Shams Charania: The Oklahoma Cy Thunr have waived Rudy Gay, sourc tell @TheAthletic Twter @ShamsCharania.

#YeaVsNayFlow Should the Sixers nsir signg Rudy Gay?