Five Gay Cars for the Enomic Apolypse | Vany Fair

Contents:

• GAYS LOVE RS, AND NOW THERE’S A PLACE TO MEET AND GATHER
• THIS AD IS BEG LLED THE “GAYT COMMERCIAL OF 2021”
• WHAT ARE THE TOP GAY-FRIENDLY CARS?
• THE ARE THE TOP 10 GAY AND LBIAN CARS
• FIVE GAY CARS FOR THE ENOMIC APOLYPSEBY BRETT BERKOCTOBER 2, 2008SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEWH THE ARRIVAL OF THE FULL-ON ENOMIC MELTDOWN, EVERYONE NEEDS TO SLE BACK, EVEN THE GAYS. BUT CUTTG RNERS DON'T MEAN YOU N'T REMA CHIC. HERE ARE FIVE EXTREMELY ED—BUT STILL PELLG—RS YOU N EFULLY UTILIZE THE HARD TIM TO E, ONE FOR EACH OF THE RE HOMOSEXUAL (VEHICULAR) BODY-TYP.1) WAGON: 1979-1985 MERCES 300TDTHOUGH THE BENZ BOYS HAVE MA OTHER TOURG VEHICL THE HUNDRED OR SO YEARS SCE THEY VENTED THE TOMOBILE, THIS ONE IS THE CLASSIC. IT'S GAY AN UNRSTATED, BUT SOLIDLY TASTEFUL KD OF WAY: SUAL, SLOW, LILTG, BUT OH SO ELEGANT, LIKE YOUR RATOR, OR BILL BLASS. ON THE FISL DOOM SI, THE 300TD IS POWERED BY THE VENERABLE MERCES 5 CYLR DIEL, OFTEN REFERRED TO AS THE MOST DURABLE ENGE EVER CREATED—REGULARLY NNG FOR OVER A HALF-LN —SO THERE'LL BE NONE OF THOSE TROUBLG REPAIR BILLS (AT LEAST ON THIS PONENT). IN ADDN, YOU N EASILY GET THIS POWERPLANT NVERTED TO N ON ED RTRANT GREASE, AND YOU KNOW THAT A DOWN-TURNED AMERIN ENOMY, THERE'S GOG TO BE PLENTY OF CHEAP IED FOOD BEG NSUMED, SO YOU'RE GUARANTEED A STEADY SUPPLY OF FUEL. FALLY, THE REAR SEAT FOLDS DOWN, CREATG A RELATIVELY LARGE SPACE WHERE YOU (AND YOUR DOG, AND MAYBE ONE SMALL IEND) N LIVE.2) CONVERTIBLE: 1989-1997 MAZDA MIATATHE PUNCH LE TO EVERY STRAIGHT A-HOLE'S JOKE ABOUT WHAT A GAY R LOOKS LIKE, MAZDA'S MORN TAKE ON THE BRISH ROADSTERS OF THE 60'S AND 70'S IS, TTH, GAY AS HELL. I PERSONALLY WOULDN'T BE UGHT AD DRIVG ONE PUBLIC FOR FEAR OF HAVG EGGS THROWN AT MY FACE, BUT THE NUMERO PRIVATE TIM I'VE DRIVEN MY IENDS' MIATAS I'VE FOUND THEM FIENDISHLY FUN (AND SO CUTE, I JT WANT TO GAY MARRY THEM). THE FIRST-GENERATN RS ARE TNIER THE CURRENT MOL, SOMEWHAT UNRPOWERED, AND OFTEN A B BEAT UP, BUT TH GREAT DEPRSN-STYLE CHEAP. AND THEY'RE JAPANE-LEVEL RELIABLE, AS LONG AS YOU TAKE RE OF THEM (AND DON'T GET THEM STOLEN BY JOYRIDG TEENS AND FLIPPED TO A OZEN LAKE, WHICH ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ONE OF MY PALS). OKAY, THEY HAVE ONLY TWO SEATS, MAKG THEM NOT EXACTLY FAY-IENDLY, BUT NOW THAT OUR ENOMY'S SPIRALG DOWN THE SHTER, YOU'RE GOG TO NEED TO CUT THAT SURROGATE LOOSE ANYWAY, THIRD TRIMTER OR NOT.MOST POPULARVANY FAIR’S “IT’S RAG TEENS” COVER AT 20: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?BY SAVANNAH WALSHSOUND OF FREEDOM: THE WILD TE STORY BEHD 2023’S MOST CONTROVERSIAL FILMBY EVE BATEYTHE CAST OF OPPENHEIMER AND THE REAL PEOPLE THEY PLAYBY HILLARY BIS3) SUV: 1981-1991 ISUZU TROOPEREVERYONE KNOWS A FAG WHO'S BOUGHT (OR LTED AFTER) A VTAGE LAND ROVER. THEY REPRENT A GAY FANTASY OF SOME MID-CENTURY, GRAHAM GREENE, CLOSET-SE, AMBASSADORIAL LIFTYLE, WH LOTS OF SLIM SUS, AFTERNOON CKTAIL PARTI, AND CUTE NATIVE POOL BOYS. BUT WHILE THE LAND ROVERS ARE DURABLE ENOUGH TO TREK ACROSS AIN SERTS, OR BE ED AS THE LEAD VEHICLE A TRIBAL WARLORD PARA, THEY'RE BY NECSY HEAVY AND OVERBUILT, RENRG THEM EFFICIENT FOR OUR UGAL TIM. FORTUNATELY, I'VE FOUND A VIABLE SUBSTUTE. BUILT BIG AND UPRIGHT LIKE A CLASSIC BRISH SAFARI VEHICLE, BUT WH A TY UNRPOWERED FOUR-CYLR ENGE AND A WHG MANUAL TRANSMISSN, THIS IS THE FIRST GENERATN ISUZU TROOPER. MORE A POOR-MAN'S TOYOTA LAND CISER THAN A BUDGET LAND ROVER, THE TROOPER LIV UP TO S NAME,(AS LONG AS YOU DON'T LET TOUCH ROAD SALT; IF YOU DO, START UNTG BACKWARDS OM ONE AND WATCH DISSOLVE). ON THE BIG-TIME PL SI, WAS ONE OF THE FEW VEHICL EVER TO E EQUIPPED WH AN ALTIMETER—THAT'S A VICE THAT TELLS YOU HOW HIGH YOU ARE ABOVE SEA LEVEL—A FEATURE WHICH WILL E PECIALLY HANDY DURG THE NEXT IMPENDG GLOBAL TASTROPHIC EVENT: RISG TIS.MOST POPULARVANY FAIR’S “IT’S RAG TEENS” COVER AT 20: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?BY SAVANNAH WALSHSOUND OF FREEDOM: THE WILD TE STORY BEHD 2023’S MOST CONTROVERSIAL FILMBY EVE BATEYTHE CAST OF OPPENHEIMER AND THE REAL PEOPLE THEY PLAYBY HILLARY BIS4) TCK: 1981-1985 VOLKSWAGEN RABB DIEL PICKUPYOU OWN A GAY LANDSPG BS, SO YOU CLAIM THAT YOU NEED A BIG TCK. BUT HOW MUCH (AHEM) EQUIPMENT ARE YOU ACTUALLY PACKG? A MOWER, A WEED-WHACKER, SOME CLIPPERS, A FEW HAND TOOLS, A BLOWER, AND TWO OR THREE PAIRS OF NAIL SCISSORS? WELL, 'S CNCH-TIME, SISTER. TIME TO TAKE THE LOSS ON YOUR RAM HEMI. FORTUNATELY, THE ENOMY'S LLAPSE CIS WH THE END OF GRASS-GROWG SEASON, SO THE ONLY THG YOU NEED TO CUT IS YOUR FUEL BILL. THANKFULLY, YOU N PICK UP ONE OF THE FOR ABOUT WHAT ALERS WILL BE OFFERG YOU FOR YOUR GAS-SWILLG, YEAR-OLD QUAD-CAB: A VOLKSWAGEN RABB DIEL PICKUP. THIS LTLE BABY IS ENOMY CLASS ALL THE WAY: HAS ONLY ENOUGH ROOM SI FOR YOU AND YOUR RRY-ONS, IS STRICTLY B.Y.O.E. (BRG YOUR OWN EVERYTHG), AND WILL S THREE ACROSS ONLY IF SOMEONE IS SI THE GUY THE CENTER POSN. BUT GETS ABOUT 45 M.P.G., LOOKS WEIRDLY STYLISH, AND HAS A FULLY FUNCTNAL RGO BED. I KNOW: 'S GERMAN. BUT, FORTUNATELY FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T LIKE TO GIVE YOUR PK DOLLARS TO THE VENTORS OF THE PK TRIANGLE, THIS PARTICULAR VEE-DUB WAS BUILT A DOMTIC PLANT PENNSYLVANIA. GET SOME BODY LORED PAT AND WHE-OUT THE V-O-L-K AND E-N ON THE TAILGATE, AND YOU HAVE THE GAYT TCK THE WORLD: THE BACK OF WILL READ S-W-A-G5) SEDAN: 1994-1997 HONDA ACRDVOTE FOR YOUR FAVORE DOW-DROPP' GAY CAR(POLLS)YOUR JOB'S BEEN ELIMATED, YOUR NDO'S BEEN FORECLOSED, AND YOUR ACURA HAS BEEN REPO-ED. YOUR BOYIEND LEFT YOU FOR SOMEONE WHO WOULDN'T DARE ASK HIM TO ENOMIZE BY SUBSTUTG SMIRNOFF FOR BELVERE. YOUR CLOST IENDS ARE RIDG THGS OUT AN OFF-THE-GRID MODULAR DOWN BELIZE. LEAVG YOU WH NOTHG BUT A SCHLE OF MOR SMETIC PROCR TO ANIZE YOUR DAYS. AND YOU HAVE TO GET TO THEM SOMEHOW (YOU'RE NOT GOG TO LET KASIA, G, AND D'REE DOWN THIS TIME OF CRISIS). SO, YOU BUY ONE OF THE: A LATE MOL HONDA ACRD. IT'S STILL GOT THE "CHET" OF BEG JAPANE. IT'S EFFICIENT AND PENDABLE. AND AS SOON AS YOU REPLACE THE PURPLE NEON WASHER NOZZL AND BOOM' FFEE N EXHST THAT THE KID YOU BOUGHT OM STALLED, WILL BE A VERY STEALTHY VEHICLE, EFUL FOR SLIPPG UNR THE GAYDAR OF THE WDOW-SMASHG NEO-FASCISTS WHO ARE SURE TO BE ON THE RISE ONCE THIS PRSN REALLY GETS SOME TRACTN, OR THE CHILDREN OF MEN-LIKE CROWDS OF ANGRY URBAN OUT HUNTG FOR SEEMGLY VALUABLE GAY PREY.BRETT BERK
• SUPREME COURT TOSS LG AGAST BAKERS WHO REFED KE FOR GAY UPLE

GAYS LOVE RS, AND NOW THERE’S A PLACE TO MEET AND GATHER

I certaly didn’t choose bee so far away om any sort of gay nightlife. We met more and more “r gays, ” and they were all dog neat thgs wh motors and wheels.

Googlg thgs like “gay r muny” rulted prsgly stark rults. A new ad om CarGus is beg lled "the gayt mercial of 2021"Photo: Screenshot. An ad for the CarGus webse is beg lled “the gayt mercial of 2021” onle and ’s not hard to see why.

THIS AD IS BEG LLED THE “GAYT COMMERCIAL OF 2021”

A recent advertisement om CarGus is beg hailed by some as the gayt mercial of the year! Regardls of s place the Gay Commercial Hall of Fame(tm), the 30-send ad --entled "We Need Space" -- thankfully plac a cute, male, gay uple a suatn that normaliz their relatnship through humor, and 's the kd of sual, everyday reprentatn we love to see!

WHAT ARE THE TOP GAY-FRIENDLY CARS?

In the mercial, one gay man is shoppg for rs onle when he clar his need to "move on" and get "more space" for his gear (he's obvly an outdoor enthiast, and th, has a lot of stuff to hl around). RELATED | Out Classics: The Gayt Commercials Ever.

THE ARE THE TOP 10 GAY AND LBIAN CARS

It’s no surprise that the vehicl most rearched by gay, lbian, bisexual and transgenr shoppers are those produced by gay-iendly tomakers. Classifi vehicle manufacturers as gay-iendly or not based on their rporate polici for offerg domtic-partner benefs to their employe the U. Gaywheels has been keepg tabs on gay-iendly vehicl on a quarterly basis for the past 1.

“Sce the ceptn of this list, the Top 10 Most-Rearched Vehicl have always e solely om gay-iendly tomakers, leatg the importance of a brand’s rporate polici and posns regard to the gay muny, ” said Joe LaMuraglia, founr of.

FIVE GAY CARS FOR THE ENOMIC APOLYPSEBY BRETT BERKOCTOBER 2, 2008SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEWH THE ARRIVAL OF THE FULL-ON ENOMIC MELTDOWN, EVERYONE NEEDS TO SLE BACK, EVEN THE GAYS. BUT CUTTG RNERS DON'T MEAN YOU N'T REMA CHIC. HERE ARE FIVE EXTREMELY ED—BUT STILL PELLG—RS YOU N EFULLY UTILIZE THE HARD TIM TO E, ONE FOR EACH OF THE RE HOMOSEXUAL (VEHICULAR) BODY-TYP.1) WAGON: 1979-1985 MERCES 300TDTHOUGH THE BENZ BOYS HAVE MA OTHER TOURG VEHICL THE HUNDRED OR SO YEARS SCE THEY VENTED THE TOMOBILE, THIS ONE IS THE CLASSIC. IT'S GAY AN UNRSTATED, BUT SOLIDLY TASTEFUL KD OF WAY: SUAL, SLOW, LILTG, BUT OH SO ELEGANT, LIKE YOUR RATOR, OR BILL BLASS. ON THE FISL DOOM SI, THE 300TD IS POWERED BY THE VENERABLE MERCES 5 CYLR DIEL, OFTEN REFERRED TO AS THE MOST DURABLE ENGE EVER CREATED—REGULARLY NNG FOR OVER A HALF-LN —SO THERE'LL BE NONE OF THOSE TROUBLG REPAIR BILLS (AT LEAST ON THIS PONENT). IN ADDN, YOU N EASILY GET THIS POWERPLANT NVERTED TO N ON ED RTRANT GREASE, AND YOU KNOW THAT A DOWN-TURNED AMERIN ENOMY, THERE'S GOG TO BE PLENTY OF CHEAP IED FOOD BEG NSUMED, SO YOU'RE GUARANTEED A STEADY SUPPLY OF FUEL. FALLY, THE REAR SEAT FOLDS DOWN, CREATG A RELATIVELY LARGE SPACE WHERE YOU (AND YOUR DOG, AND MAYBE ONE SMALL IEND) N LIVE.2) CONVERTIBLE: 1989-1997 MAZDA MIATATHE PUNCH LE TO EVERY STRAIGHT A-HOLE'S JOKE ABOUT WHAT A GAY R LOOKS LIKE, MAZDA'S MORN TAKE ON THE BRISH ROADSTERS OF THE 60'S AND 70'S IS, TTH, GAY AS HELL. I PERSONALLY WOULDN'T BE UGHT AD DRIVG ONE PUBLIC FOR FEAR OF HAVG EGGS THROWN AT MY FACE, BUT THE NUMERO PRIVATE TIM I'VE DRIVEN MY IENDS' MIATAS I'VE FOUND THEM FIENDISHLY FUN (AND SO CUTE, I JT WANT TO GAY MARRY THEM). THE FIRST-GENERATN RS ARE TNIER THE CURRENT MOL, SOMEWHAT UNRPOWERED, AND OFTEN A B BEAT UP, BUT TH GREAT DEPRSN-STYLE CHEAP. AND THEY'RE JAPANE-LEVEL RELIABLE, AS LONG AS YOU TAKE RE OF THEM (AND DON'T GET THEM STOLEN BY JOYRIDG TEENS AND FLIPPED TO A OZEN LAKE, WHICH ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ONE OF MY PALS). OKAY, THEY HAVE ONLY TWO SEATS, MAKG THEM NOT EXACTLY FAY-IENDLY, BUT NOW THAT OUR ENOMY'S SPIRALG DOWN THE SHTER, YOU'RE GOG TO NEED TO CUT THAT SURROGATE LOOSE ANYWAY, THIRD TRIMTER OR NOT.MOST POPULARVANY FAIR’S “IT’S RAG TEENS” COVER AT 20: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?BY SAVANNAH WALSHSOUND OF FREEDOM: THE WILD TE STORY BEHD 2023’S MOST CONTROVERSIAL FILMBY EVE BATEYTHE CAST OF OPPENHEIMER AND THE REAL PEOPLE THEY PLAYBY HILLARY BIS3) SUV: 1981-1991 ISUZU TROOPEREVERYONE KNOWS A FAG WHO'S BOUGHT (OR LTED AFTER) A VTAGE LAND ROVER. THEY REPRENT A GAY FANTASY OF SOME MID-CENTURY, GRAHAM GREENE, CLOSET-SE, AMBASSADORIAL LIFTYLE, WH LOTS OF SLIM SUS, AFTERNOON CKTAIL PARTI, AND CUTE NATIVE POOL BOYS. BUT WHILE THE LAND ROVERS ARE DURABLE ENOUGH TO TREK ACROSS AIN SERTS, OR BE ED AS THE LEAD VEHICLE A TRIBAL WARLORD PARA, THEY'RE BY NECSY HEAVY AND OVERBUILT, RENRG THEM EFFICIENT FOR OUR UGAL TIM. FORTUNATELY, I'VE FOUND A VIABLE SUBSTUTE. BUILT BIG AND UPRIGHT LIKE A CLASSIC BRISH SAFARI VEHICLE, BUT WH A TY UNRPOWERED FOUR-CYLR ENGE AND A WHG MANUAL TRANSMISSN, THIS IS THE FIRST GENERATN ISUZU TROOPER. MORE A POOR-MAN'S TOYOTA LAND CISER THAN A BUDGET LAND ROVER, THE TROOPER LIV UP TO S NAME,(AS LONG AS YOU DON'T LET TOUCH ROAD SALT; IF YOU DO, START UNTG BACKWARDS OM ONE AND WATCH DISSOLVE). ON THE BIG-TIME PL SI, WAS ONE OF THE FEW VEHICL EVER TO E EQUIPPED WH AN ALTIMETER—THAT'S A VICE THAT TELLS YOU HOW HIGH YOU ARE ABOVE SEA LEVEL—A FEATURE WHICH WILL E PECIALLY HANDY DURG THE NEXT IMPENDG GLOBAL TASTROPHIC EVENT: RISG TIS.MOST POPULARVANY FAIR’S “IT’S RAG TEENS” COVER AT 20: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?BY SAVANNAH WALSHSOUND OF FREEDOM: THE WILD TE STORY BEHD 2023’S MOST CONTROVERSIAL FILMBY EVE BATEYTHE CAST OF OPPENHEIMER AND THE REAL PEOPLE THEY PLAYBY HILLARY BIS4) TCK: 1981-1985 VOLKSWAGEN RABB DIEL PICKUPYOU OWN A GAY LANDSPG BS, SO YOU CLAIM THAT YOU NEED A BIG TCK. BUT HOW MUCH (AHEM) EQUIPMENT ARE YOU ACTUALLY PACKG? A MOWER, A WEED-WHACKER, SOME CLIPPERS, A FEW HAND TOOLS, A BLOWER, AND TWO OR THREE PAIRS OF NAIL SCISSORS? WELL, 'S CNCH-TIME, SISTER. TIME TO TAKE THE LOSS ON YOUR RAM HEMI. FORTUNATELY, THE ENOMY'S LLAPSE CIS WH THE END OF GRASS-GROWG SEASON, SO THE ONLY THG YOU NEED TO CUT IS YOUR FUEL BILL. THANKFULLY, YOU N PICK UP ONE OF THE FOR ABOUT WHAT ALERS WILL BE OFFERG YOU FOR YOUR GAS-SWILLG, YEAR-OLD QUAD-CAB: A VOLKSWAGEN RABB DIEL PICKUP. THIS LTLE BABY IS ENOMY CLASS ALL THE WAY: HAS ONLY ENOUGH ROOM SI FOR YOU AND YOUR RRY-ONS, IS STRICTLY B.Y.O.E. (BRG YOUR OWN EVERYTHG), AND WILL S THREE ACROSS ONLY IF SOMEONE IS SI THE GUY THE CENTER POSN. BUT GETS ABOUT 45 M.P.G., LOOKS WEIRDLY STYLISH, AND HAS A FULLY FUNCTNAL RGO BED. I KNOW: 'S GERMAN. BUT, FORTUNATELY FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T LIKE TO GIVE YOUR PK DOLLARS TO THE VENTORS OF THE PK TRIANGLE, THIS PARTICULAR VEE-DUB WAS BUILT A DOMTIC PLANT PENNSYLVANIA. GET SOME BODY LORED PAT AND WHE-OUT THE V-O-L-K AND E-N ON THE TAILGATE, AND YOU HAVE THE GAYT TCK THE WORLD: THE BACK OF WILL READ S-W-A-G5) SEDAN: 1994-1997 HONDA ACRDVOTE FOR YOUR FAVORE DOW-DROPP' GAY CAR(POLLS)YOUR JOB'S BEEN ELIMATED, YOUR NDO'S BEEN FORECLOSED, AND YOUR ACURA HAS BEEN REPO-ED. YOUR BOYIEND LEFT YOU FOR SOMEONE WHO WOULDN'T DARE ASK HIM TO ENOMIZE BY SUBSTUTG SMIRNOFF FOR BELVERE. YOUR CLOST IENDS ARE RIDG THGS OUT AN OFF-THE-GRID MODULAR DOWN BELIZE. LEAVG YOU WH NOTHG BUT A SCHLE OF MOR SMETIC PROCR TO ANIZE YOUR DAYS. AND YOU HAVE TO GET TO THEM SOMEHOW (YOU'RE NOT GOG TO LET KASIA, G, AND D'REE DOWN THIS TIME OF CRISIS). SO, YOU BUY ONE OF THE: A LATE MOL HONDA ACRD. IT'S STILL GOT THE "CHET" OF BEG JAPANE. IT'S EFFICIENT AND PENDABLE. AND AS SOON AS YOU REPLACE THE PURPLE NEON WASHER NOZZL AND BOOM' FFEE N EXHST THAT THE KID YOU BOUGHT OM STALLED, WILL BE A VERY STEALTHY VEHICLE, EFUL FOR SLIPPG UNR THE GAYDAR OF THE WDOW-SMASHG NEO-FASCISTS WHO ARE SURE TO BE ON THE RISE ONCE THIS PRSN REALLY GETS SOME TRACTN, OR THE CHILDREN OF MEN-LIKE CROWDS OF ANGRY URBAN OUT HUNTG FOR SEEMGLY VALUABLE GAY PREY.BRETT BERK

Apparently, we as a society are so wrapped up the ia of how "gay" objects, clothg styl, and activi are that we n't even leave tomobil out of !

Th, the guys at Car Talk, those te terers of r nversatn, have e up wh the: lists of the top 10 gay and lbian rs. ‘Surf Girls Hawai’i’ is the Real-Life ‘Blue Csh’ We’ve Waed 21 Years ForOffEnglishCar Talk took a pletely non-scientific poll and queried their lbian and gay listeners, and apparently some straight and bisexual people, too, askg for nomatns of the bt queer vehicl.

SUPREME COURT TOSS LG AGAST BAKERS WHO REFED KE FOR GAY UPLE

Nomatns om gays, om lbians, om borg heterosexuals like ... Good for seemg utterly pretent and important the area of At's Wt Camp, where I lived wedged between sorory, so how about the Top 10 Gay Cars?

The 3-seri is on the gay list? Is VW to gay men what Suba is to lbian women?

Wh the arrival of the full-on enomic meltdown, everyone needs to sle back, even the gays. Here are five extremely ed—but still pellg—rs you n efully utilize the hard tim to e, one for each of the re homosexual (vehicular) body-typ. It's gay an unrstated, but solidly tasteful kd of way: sual, slow, liltg, but oh so elegant, like your rator, or Bill Blass.