Age Differenc Gay Coupl | Psychology Today Uned Kgdom

Contents:

• AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL
• CAN WE TALK ABOUT GAY MEN AND AGE GAPS?
• AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL
• AGE GAP RELATNSHIP | INTERVIEW | GAY COUPLE AARON & MIKE
• AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL
• WHEN I'M OLD AND GAY
• AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL
• AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

Many quiri I have received over and over aga through the years beg somethg like this: “I've always liked olr men, but many gay iends close to my age are cril of me and spic of my motiv.

” One young man said to me, “If I see a handsome gay man my age, he might jt as well have a vaga. Var labels have been ascribed to tergeneratnal upl, whether straight, gay or bisexual: tergeneratnal, age-gap, age-discrepant, or, more often than not, “May-December” relatnships. Inially, I was unnvced the relatnships were ser, but that was bee I held stereotypil views: an olr gay man who was lookg for a trophy-mate and has the money to take re of his boy toy and a younger man who was lookg for a sugar daddy.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT GAY MEN AND AGE GAPS?

I now regnize this as a hackneyed ia that furiat men age-gap gay relatnships. Based on the number of tim this qutn drops to my mailbox, the reasons for the age-discrepant attractns nsum a great al of bandwidth the thoughts of a lot of young gay and bisexual men. Was pletg his doctoral dissertatn, “May-December: Navigatg Life as an Intergeneratnal Gay Couple, ” he thoroughly rearched what proved to be the limed available lerature on tergeneratnal upl.

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

They nsir discrimatn a part of beg gay. Their work will fort men the double jeopardy of beg both gay and lovg someone much olr or younger.

Sometim ‘me too’ gets wrongDid you hear about the group of mp Democrats who recently tried to pull a polil h job on 31-year-old gay ngrsnal ndidate Alex Morse? More disturbgly, s roots lie homophobic trop that have long mischaracterized olr gay men as threats to young people. One was wh a man 20 years olr than me, the other wh a man 10 years wr om the perspective of a gay man who has always found himself attracted to olr men.

I ed to say, “Old men fuck, ok, and talk better, ” and, many s, was te—pecially when my datg pool was a group of nfed, shame-filled late-teen, early-20s gay men wh late-onset emotnal adolcence, jt like we like to thk that relatnships and sire are morally pure and separate om somethg as ugly as power, many relatnships that’s jt not the se. I am aware that th far I have only discsed gay relatnships, but there’s a reason for that. Sarah and Dar om age gap adventur terview gay uple Aaron and Mike om the QueerDaze blog on their age gap relatnship.

AGE GAP RELATNSHIP | INTERVIEW | GAY COUPLE AARON & MIKE

And is different between heterosexual and homosexual upl (we fall to the latter)? It don’t matter whether they’re married or unmarried, parents or childls — all upl are unted the CPS, unls they’re gay.

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

So I have to swch to a different data set if I want to clu gay upl my analysis (and I do! Ers who say they are relatnships, Facebook found that the average age difference gay upl tends to get bigger the olr people get.

It should be noted that this statistic only appli to heterosexual relatnships, as there has been limed rearch on age gaps homosexual on, so the numbers are likely to be higher than that real life. She and Sue hadn't thought about settlg down wh other gay people until they learned about Careee Cove. A planned rintial muny for olr gay men, lbians, and transgenred people, "the Cove" was then an empty 165-acre plot 20 outsi of Boone, a small universy town the Blue Ridge Mountas.

The gay retirement villas sproutg up at the turn of the lennium were far more mercial-and planned-than those early "gayborhoods, " but at a basic level what they offered was siar: sulatn om prejudice, plac where queer people were ee to be queer.

WHEN I'M OLD AND GAY

Wh the baby-boomer generatn on the cp of retirement and the enomy chuggg along at full speed, gay and lbian entreprenrs saw an opportuny to create retreats for people like themselv and sh on the emergg market of 1. 5 ln gay elrly (and growg).

Earlier mols of all-gay muni were nsirably more stere and typilly women-only. While a handful of gay men want nothg to do wh the other rints-"the boys at the top of the hill, " they're lled-down the hollow there is a strong sense of muny.

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

" For Brown's generatn of gay people, that sense of secury is still a prec-and agile-thg. Thirty years om now, given the dramatic rise public support for gay rights, queer retire will be able to take for granted that they will be accepted and unrstood any retirement settg. Dpe the stereotype of the affluent gay, more LGBT senrs live poverty than their straight unterparts.

They are far ls likely than younger gays to be partnered or married. In June, the Supreme Court stck down the Defense of Marriage Act, puttg some gay upl on equal legal footg wh straight upl for the first time, but that's ltle help to olr gay upl who have missed out on s' worth of tax and surance those factors leave queer senrs wh fewer retirement optns than their straight unterparts. Whout the social support or fancial means to ensure pennce, they often bee separated om their gay muni and "fai of choice.

" Whether they rely on home-re workers or move to assisted-livg facili paid for by Mediid, they often enunter staff and rints who are not fortable wh gay people.

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

's lol outreach director for SAGE (Servic and Advocy for GLBT Elrs), the untry's largt advocy anizatn for olr gay folk, Woody nducts sensivy trag for nursg-home staff and nnects low-e elrly wh public hog and HIV/AIDS servic. As health problems kicked , Sarah drifted om the gay muny and me to rely on her children for support.

"She told me, 'All that gay stuff, I don't do that anymore, '" Woody says. "All that gay stuff, I don't do that anymore. Acrdg to a 2011 report om the Natnal Amy on an Agg Society, ls than one-third of elrre agenci offer gay-sensivy trag.

Whout gtur to signal that 's safe to be gay, many elrly-who have lived much, if not most, of their liv the closet-assume that is not.