What Do It Mean to Be a Gay Man? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• TAKG OFF THE ‘MASC’: HOW GAY-INTIFYG MEN PERCEIVE AND NAVIGATE HYPER-MASCULY AND “MASCG” CULTURE ONLE
• SUP? LOOKG? PARTY? A GUI TO GAY APP LGO
• DISVERG ‘MASC 4 MASC’IT’S NOT JT A SEXUAL PREFERENCE; ’S EXCLNARY AND {FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.25 "GRAVY",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NONE;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#FFFFFF;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.25 "GRAVY",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NONE;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#FFFFFF;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY JT CLAYNOVEMBER 15, 2016/11:03 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}GETTY IMAGRUNNER LISTENG TO MIC WTERBY JT CLAYNOVEMBER 15, 2016 / 11:03 AM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"DISVERG ‘MASC 4 MASC’","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2016-11-15T16:03:17.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2016-11-15T16:03:17.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"MTV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"MTV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1280,"HEIGHT":720}},"CREATOR":"JT CLAY","KEYWORDS":"MTV FOUNRS","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT WAS JT THREE YEARS AGO THAT I WAS A HIGH SCHOOL STUNT READY TO EXPLORE THE REALM OF TER DATG. ONE DAY, I CID TO GET MY PHONE OUT AND DOWNLOAD AN APP; I PREPARED MY THUMBS FOR ALL SORTS OF LEFT- AND RIGHT-SWIPG. BUT MY HIGHLY ROMANTICIZED JOURNEY WH DATG APPS TOOK A NFG TURN WHEN I REPEATEDLY ENUNTERED A PHRASE I SOON REALIZED WAS TREACHERO: “MASC 4 MASC.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“MASC 4 MASC” IS A PHRASE WH WHICH MANY GAY MEN ON DATG APPS ARE FAIAR. MEN OFTEN SCRIBE THEMSELV THIS WAY TO DITE THAT THEY’RE MASCULE-ACTG, AND ARE SEEKG OTHER MASCULE-ACTG DIVIDUALS. THOSE WHO E THE TERM TEND TO BE STRAIGHT-PASSG MEN WHO REFE TO MUNITE WH ANYONE OTHER THAN STRAIGHT-PASSG MEN, AND THEREFORE DISMISS AND/OR GRA FEME OR ANDROGYNO PEOPLE. THEY SOMETIM E THE TERM “NO FEMS” AS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SOME TRY TO FEND THE ACTNS AND “PREFERENC” BY SAYG THGS LIKE “EVERYONE HAS A TYPE,” “’S JT A SCRIPTN,” AND “’S NOT WHAT I’M TO.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BUT I CERTALY FD “MASC 4 MASC” PROBLEMATIC. THE PHRASE EXCLUS FEME AND ANDROGYNO QUEER DIVIDUALS — A TYPE OF EXCLN THAT SPEAKS TO A LONG LEGACY OF TERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND MISOGYNY BOTH THE GAY MUNY AS WELL AS BROAR AMERIN SOCIETY. INGRAED HOMOPHOBIA TEACH TO ACCEPT AND NORMALIZE RELATNSHIPS THAT F TO A HETEROSEXIST AMEWORK AND OPPRS QUEERNS, WHILE GRAED MISOGYNY SIMULTANEOLY TEACH TO PRIVILEGE MASCULY OVER FEMY. BEG QUEER THIS TYPE OF SOCIETY ALREADY MARGALIZ GAY MEN, BUT THE WAY WHICH THEY PRENT THEIR GENR AND SEXUALY THEIR OWN MUNY N ULTIMATELY MARGALIZE THEM FURTHER. IN A WORLD THAT EXPECTS MEN TO BE STEREOTYPILLY MASCULE, BEG EFFEMATE LEAV YOU PARTICULARLY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HOMOPHOBIA AND MISOGYNY CREATE A LOOMG CLOUD OVER QUEER MEN: MANY ARE WORRIED OF BEG “NOTICEABLY” GAY, OVERLY FLAMBOYANT, OR EVEN SLIGHTLY FEME. WE ARE TGHT TO MONOR OURSELV AND NOT DISPT THE SERENE FAçA OF HETEROSEXUALY. QUEER MEN WHO OBLIGE GET TO TABLISH A FALSE SENSE OF PROTECTN OM “FTG .”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I’VE UNFORTUNATELY EXPERIENCED BOTH THE NSEQUENC AND THE REWARDS OF THIS DYNAMIC. DURG MY FIRST YEAR OF LLEGE, I MET ONE OF MY BT IENDS, WHOM I’LL REFER TO AS "ETHAN." ETHAN AND I ARE BOTH GAY, AND WE BOND THROUGH NFIDG ONE ANOTHER ABOUT OUR LIV. I HAD JT RECENTLY E OUT AS GAY AFTER YEARS OF NIAL, SHAMEFUL SECRETS, AND EMOTNAL BREAKDOWNS — NOT TO MENTN NUMERO FAILED ATTEMPTS TO BE STRAIGHT AND OVERLY MASCULE. ETHAN WAS MORE FORTABLE WH HIS SEXUALY AND EXPRSED HIMSELF MORE FEME WAYS. AS WE HAD ONE KIKI AFTER ANOTHER, I FELT CREASGLY FORTABLE WH MY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BUT I ALSO LEARNED THAT BEG TE TO YOURSELF N E WH CHALLENG. DURG ONE OF MY SCHOOL BREAKS, I VED ETHAN TO MY HOME AND TRODUCED HIM TO SOMEONE ELSE I KNOW. WE SPENT SOME TIME AT MY HOE UNTIL ETHAN HAD TO LEAVE. AFTER HE LEFT, THIS PERSON AND I STARTED SUALLY TALKG THE KCHEN. AT FIRST, WE JT TALKED ABOUT OUR DAYS AND OUR PLANS FOR THE WEEK. BUT AS THE NVERSATN NTUED, THEIR THOUGHTS ABOUT ETHAN SLOWLY ME {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“I’M GLAD YOU’RE NOT ONE OF THOSE TYPE OF GAYS,” THIS PERSON {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I DIDN’T FEEL THAT I HAD ENOUGH KNOWLEDGE ABOUT HOW TO BT RPOND, SO I REMAED SILENT STEAD OF FENDG MY IEND. I UNKNOWGLY REAPED THE BENEFS OF NOT CHALLENGG GENR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHILE I BELIEVE THAT NOTHG IS WRONG WH BEG AND EXPRSG YOURSELF WHATEVER WAY YOU SIRE — WHETHER MASCULE, FEME, OR ANDROGYNO — ’S UNNIABLE THAT MASCULE-ACTG QUEER MEN REAP UNPARALLELED BENEFS OF THE PATRIARCHAL DIVIND, AND RECEIVE UNWARRANTED ADVANTAG FOR BEG MALE AND MASCULE A SOCIETY THAT VALU AND ANTAGONIZ FEMY. THIS LEAV ROOM FOR MISOGYNISTIC GAY MEN TO FLNT THEIR MALE PRIVILEGE WHILE SCREAMG FOR THEIR EXCLNARY GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN TERMS OF QUEER, VIRTUAL DATG SPAC, G THE TERM “MASC 4 MASC” TO SCRIBE ONELF, OR BEG ATTRACTED TO MASCULE MEN, ISN’T THE PROBLEM. IT’S THAT, AS A PHENOMENON, THIS PHRASE DON’T JT SYMBOLIZE A DATG PREFERENCE, BUT ALSO THE DOMANT, SEXIST NOTN THAT FEMY IS LS VALUABLE THAN MASCULY, AND RESTAT THE OPPRSIVE STCTUR THAT DIMISH FEME AND QUEER PEOPLE. IT REFERENC AND EVEN BOLSTERS THE NSTANT DISTANCG, OTHERG, AND EXCLN OF A MUNY THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTG FOR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WE ARE ALL PRODUCTS OF THE SOCIETI THAT WE LIVE , AND SO ARE OUR WAYS OF THKG — EVEN WHAT WE FD TO BE ATTRACTIVE. WE ARE ALL IMPERFECT THIS WAY. BUT WE MT NSTANTLY QUTN THE SYSTEMS OF POWER OUR LIV. WHY DO WE FD CERTA CHARACTERISTICS TO BE ATTRACTIVE? WHAT IOLOGI ULD HAVE NTRIBUTED TO HOW WE VIEW DIFFERENT THGS?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHILE MISOGYNY AND HOMOPHOBIA ARE TWO SEPARATE (YET OFTEN OVERLAPPG) SPHER OF OPPRSN, THEY ARE ONLY PIEC OF THE STORY WHEN TO GENR, SEXUALY, AND SYSTEMS OF INTY. RACE, SOCENOMIC STAT, ABILY, GLOBAL POSN, AND OTHER SEXUALI AND GENRS ARE ALSO PARTS OF THIS BROAR STORY THAT NEED TO BE TOLD AND LISTENED TO ORR TO ACHIEVE TE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BACK THEN, I SAW “MASC 4 MASC” AS JT ANOTHER LABEL TO WHICH I DIDN’T F. NOW, I N SEE FOR S EXCLNARY AND OPPRSIVE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AND TO ALL OF THE “ETHANS” OUT THERE, I’VE GOT YOUR (OUR) BACK {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WANT TO BE AN MTV FOUNRS NTRIBUTOR? SEND YOUR FULL NAME, AGE, AND PCH TO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}MTV {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• WHY ‘MASC4MASC’ ISN'T NECSARILY SELF-HATG AND ANTI-GAY

TAKG OFF THE ‘MASC’: HOW GAY-INTIFYG MEN PERCEIVE AND NAVIGATE HYPER-MASCULY AND “MASCG” CULTURE ONLE

Masc and femme (ually shortened to fem) are ed as shorthand for mascule and feme by gay men, and the terms have gotten a bad reputatn for how they’re ed the gay datg scene.

"Masc" fetishiz and exaggerat the notn of what means to be manly, addg to the culture of toxic masculy wh the gay muny, pecially among men of lor.

The proliferatn of gay onle spac and the opportuny they prent to experiment and explore one’s own sexual inty have ma onle platforms creasgly signifint the social, romantic, and emotnal liv of gay men. [3], [4] Onle platforms that provi social workg opportuni for gay men have transformed om simple foms and webs to sophistited and highly popular apps like Grdr, Scff, and Jack’d. [5] The morn apps have been lled “hybrid media” bee they blend the offle and onle experience of ers and plite the distctn between the offle and the onle self; they provi gay men wh the possibily of turng digal sexual exploratn to physil sexual enunters.

SUP? LOOKG? PARTY? A GUI TO GAY APP LGO

Applitns that provi men opportuni to foster relatnships that extend to the offle world have explod populary wh recent studi showg that over 75 percent of MSM (men seekg sex wh men) reported some or equent e wh datg apps and that gay men e the apps more equently than their heterosexual unterparts. While there has been a limed number of studi that foc on genred discrimatn wh gay spac onle, the studi have predomantly employed ntent analysis as the method of quiry.

Interviews provi an opportuny to engage the gay men who are forced to navigate mascg culture firsthand and learn about their experienc and opns. This paper seeks to take advantage of this opportuny and asks the rearch qutn: How do gay men unrstand and navigate the prsure to nstct and perform a hyper mascule self onle? [33] The body of existg rearch on -group discrimatn wh the gay male muny reveals the prevalence of racism, sexism, classism, and ableism amongst gay men, not only physil spac but also procs such as the electn and promotn of gay polil figureheads and onle.

DISVERG ‘MASC 4 MASC’IT’S NOT JT A SEXUAL PREFERENCE; ’S EXCLNARY AND {FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.25 "GRAVY",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NONE;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#FFFFFF;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.25 "GRAVY",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NONE;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#FFFFFF;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY JT CLAYNOVEMBER 15, 2016/11:03 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}GETTY IMAGRUNNER LISTENG TO MIC WTERBY JT CLAYNOVEMBER 15, 2016 / 11:03 AM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"DISVERG ‘MASC 4 MASC’","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2016-11-15T16:03:17.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2016-11-15T16:03:17.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"MTV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"MTV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1280,"HEIGHT":720}},"CREATOR":"JT CLAY","KEYWORDS":"MTV FOUNRS","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT WAS JT THREE YEARS AGO THAT I WAS A HIGH SCHOOL STUNT READY TO EXPLORE THE REALM OF TER DATG. ONE DAY, I CID TO GET MY PHONE OUT AND DOWNLOAD AN APP; I PREPARED MY THUMBS FOR ALL SORTS OF LEFT- AND RIGHT-SWIPG. BUT MY HIGHLY ROMANTICIZED JOURNEY WH DATG APPS TOOK A NFG TURN WHEN I REPEATEDLY ENUNTERED A PHRASE I SOON REALIZED WAS TREACHERO: “MASC 4 MASC.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“MASC 4 MASC” IS A PHRASE WH WHICH MANY GAY MEN ON DATG APPS ARE FAIAR. MEN OFTEN SCRIBE THEMSELV THIS WAY TO DITE THAT THEY’RE MASCULE-ACTG, AND ARE SEEKG OTHER MASCULE-ACTG DIVIDUALS. THOSE WHO E THE TERM TEND TO BE STRAIGHT-PASSG MEN WHO REFE TO MUNITE WH ANYONE OTHER THAN STRAIGHT-PASSG MEN, AND THEREFORE DISMISS AND/OR GRA FEME OR ANDROGYNO PEOPLE. THEY SOMETIM E THE TERM “NO FEMS” AS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SOME TRY TO FEND THE ACTNS AND “PREFERENC” BY SAYG THGS LIKE “EVERYONE HAS A TYPE,” “’S JT A SCRIPTN,” AND “’S NOT WHAT I’M TO.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BUT I CERTALY FD “MASC 4 MASC” PROBLEMATIC. THE PHRASE EXCLUS FEME AND ANDROGYNO QUEER DIVIDUALS — A TYPE OF EXCLN THAT SPEAKS TO A LONG LEGACY OF TERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND MISOGYNY BOTH THE GAY MUNY AS WELL AS BROAR AMERIN SOCIETY. INGRAED HOMOPHOBIA TEACH TO ACCEPT AND NORMALIZE RELATNSHIPS THAT F TO A HETEROSEXIST AMEWORK AND OPPRS QUEERNS, WHILE GRAED MISOGYNY SIMULTANEOLY TEACH TO PRIVILEGE MASCULY OVER FEMY. BEG QUEER THIS TYPE OF SOCIETY ALREADY MARGALIZ GAY MEN, BUT THE WAY WHICH THEY PRENT THEIR GENR AND SEXUALY THEIR OWN MUNY N ULTIMATELY MARGALIZE THEM FURTHER. IN A WORLD THAT EXPECTS MEN TO BE STEREOTYPILLY MASCULE, BEG EFFEMATE LEAV YOU PARTICULARLY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HOMOPHOBIA AND MISOGYNY CREATE A LOOMG CLOUD OVER QUEER MEN: MANY ARE WORRIED OF BEG “NOTICEABLY” GAY, OVERLY FLAMBOYANT, OR EVEN SLIGHTLY FEME. WE ARE TGHT TO MONOR OURSELV AND NOT DISPT THE SERENE FAçA OF HETEROSEXUALY. QUEER MEN WHO OBLIGE GET TO TABLISH A FALSE SENSE OF PROTECTN OM “FTG .”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I’VE UNFORTUNATELY EXPERIENCED BOTH THE NSEQUENC AND THE REWARDS OF THIS DYNAMIC. DURG MY FIRST YEAR OF LLEGE, I MET ONE OF MY BT IENDS, WHOM I’LL REFER TO AS "ETHAN." ETHAN AND I ARE BOTH GAY, AND WE BOND THROUGH NFIDG ONE ANOTHER ABOUT OUR LIV. I HAD JT RECENTLY E OUT AS GAY AFTER YEARS OF NIAL, SHAMEFUL SECRETS, AND EMOTNAL BREAKDOWNS — NOT TO MENTN NUMERO FAILED ATTEMPTS TO BE STRAIGHT AND OVERLY MASCULE. ETHAN WAS MORE FORTABLE WH HIS SEXUALY AND EXPRSED HIMSELF MORE FEME WAYS. AS WE HAD ONE KIKI AFTER ANOTHER, I FELT CREASGLY FORTABLE WH MY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BUT I ALSO LEARNED THAT BEG TE TO YOURSELF N E WH CHALLENG. DURG ONE OF MY SCHOOL BREAKS, I VED ETHAN TO MY HOME AND TRODUCED HIM TO SOMEONE ELSE I KNOW. WE SPENT SOME TIME AT MY HOE UNTIL ETHAN HAD TO LEAVE. AFTER HE LEFT, THIS PERSON AND I STARTED SUALLY TALKG THE KCHEN. AT FIRST, WE JT TALKED ABOUT OUR DAYS AND OUR PLANS FOR THE WEEK. BUT AS THE NVERSATN NTUED, THEIR THOUGHTS ABOUT ETHAN SLOWLY ME {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“I’M GLAD YOU’RE NOT ONE OF THOSE TYPE OF GAYS,” THIS PERSON {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I DIDN’T FEEL THAT I HAD ENOUGH KNOWLEDGE ABOUT HOW TO BT RPOND, SO I REMAED SILENT STEAD OF FENDG MY IEND. I UNKNOWGLY REAPED THE BENEFS OF NOT CHALLENGG GENR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHILE I BELIEVE THAT NOTHG IS WRONG WH BEG AND EXPRSG YOURSELF WHATEVER WAY YOU SIRE — WHETHER MASCULE, FEME, OR ANDROGYNO — ’S UNNIABLE THAT MASCULE-ACTG QUEER MEN REAP UNPARALLELED BENEFS OF THE PATRIARCHAL DIVIND, AND RECEIVE UNWARRANTED ADVANTAG FOR BEG MALE AND MASCULE A SOCIETY THAT VALU AND ANTAGONIZ FEMY. THIS LEAV ROOM FOR MISOGYNISTIC GAY MEN TO FLNT THEIR MALE PRIVILEGE WHILE SCREAMG FOR THEIR EXCLNARY GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN TERMS OF QUEER, VIRTUAL DATG SPAC, G THE TERM “MASC 4 MASC” TO SCRIBE ONELF, OR BEG ATTRACTED TO MASCULE MEN, ISN’T THE PROBLEM. IT’S THAT, AS A PHENOMENON, THIS PHRASE DON’T JT SYMBOLIZE A DATG PREFERENCE, BUT ALSO THE DOMANT, SEXIST NOTN THAT FEMY IS LS VALUABLE THAN MASCULY, AND RESTAT THE OPPRSIVE STCTUR THAT DIMISH FEME AND QUEER PEOPLE. IT REFERENC AND EVEN BOLSTERS THE NSTANT DISTANCG, OTHERG, AND EXCLN OF A MUNY THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTG FOR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WE ARE ALL PRODUCTS OF THE SOCIETI THAT WE LIVE , AND SO ARE OUR WAYS OF THKG — EVEN WHAT WE FD TO BE ATTRACTIVE. WE ARE ALL IMPERFECT THIS WAY. BUT WE MT NSTANTLY QUTN THE SYSTEMS OF POWER OUR LIV. WHY DO WE FD CERTA CHARACTERISTICS TO BE ATTRACTIVE? WHAT IOLOGI ULD HAVE NTRIBUTED TO HOW WE VIEW DIFFERENT THGS?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHILE MISOGYNY AND HOMOPHOBIA ARE TWO SEPARATE (YET OFTEN OVERLAPPG) SPHER OF OPPRSN, THEY ARE ONLY PIEC OF THE STORY WHEN TO GENR, SEXUALY, AND SYSTEMS OF INTY. RACE, SOCENOMIC STAT, ABILY, GLOBAL POSN, AND OTHER SEXUALI AND GENRS ARE ALSO PARTS OF THIS BROAR STORY THAT NEED TO BE TOLD AND LISTENED TO ORR TO ACHIEVE TE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BACK THEN, I SAW “MASC 4 MASC” AS JT ANOTHER LABEL TO WHICH I DIDN’T F. NOW, I N SEE FOR S EXCLNARY AND OPPRSIVE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AND TO ALL OF THE “ETHANS” OUT THERE, I’VE GOT YOUR (OUR) BACK {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#F3F3F3;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WANT TO BE AN MTV FOUNRS NTRIBUTOR? SEND YOUR FULL NAME, AGE, AND PCH TO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}MTV {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

While there is not an abundance of rearch on patterns of discrimatn on gay datg apps, rearch that do exist reli primarily on quantative studi of ers’ behavrs based on ntent analys of their photos, “bs, ” and msagg patterns. [37], [38] The studi have found certa norms and patterns that permeate the datg app world: the high value placed on tradnal hegemonic masculy, the stigmatizatn of femy, and the sire for tradnally “straight-actg” gay men.

Have intified a pattern of behavr amongst gay men onle where men exaggerate their mascule tras and supprs their feme tras, a behavr that has been lled mascg.

[41] This pattern of behavr is largely driven by a fear of beg reproached as a “sissy” or “fem” man and is fueled by persistent homophobia and misogyny which lgers the gay muny. [42] This mascg behavr stratifi gay spac a way that plac “straight-actg, ” young, athletic, and lean men at the top and ls-mascule ers lower wh the genred hierarchy. This study ntribut to existg rearch that extends Goffman’s theori to the onle realm, as well as existg studi on the prevalence and signifince of homophobia and -group discrimatn wh the queer muny.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

In all 21 terviews, the participants agreed that social media platforms, datg apps, and onle spac are particularly important to gay men and to the queer muny at large.

WHY ‘MASC4MASC’ ISN'T NECSARILY SELF-HATG AND ANTI-GAY

Many participants discsed at length how onle platforms and social workg s facilated their own gay inty formatn and are sential to meetg other gay men, seekg potential sexual partners, and generatg a greater sense of muny wh the LGBTQ populatn as a whole.

While physil spac dited to the gay muny such as gay bars and gay clubs have long provid some opportuni for mglg, onle platforms have grown far more popular due to their anonymy and accsibily, pecially for younger gay men unr the legal US drkg age. Participants overwhelmgly exprsed that onle spac had a special and heightened role wh the gay muny, and that datg apps and social media fill a ccial need that their straight unterparts do not have to the same extent.

The men who I terviewed overwhelmgly exprsed that hyper-mascule and “straight-actg” men are glorified wh gay spac onle and, furthermore, that liberately makg onelf appear more mascule onle is a mon practice.