A gay uple is angered when addrsed as ‘Mr. and Mrs.’ Is homophobia? - The Washgton Post

Mr. Gay and Mrs.: Wh Lda Arvidson, Robert Harron, Anthony O'Sullivan. In the openg of the story we fd Mr. Gay at breakfast, served wh ffee and rolls om the fair hands of a pretty pete French maid, whose cherry lips like rose leav seem tacly vg and he proceeds to accept the vatn, when Mrs. Gay appears. "The venom clamors of a jealo woman poison more adly than a mad dog's tooth," and a fury of furi rage as Gay p and the maid is discharged. At the office, as his typewrer, is a verable Andromeda, whose radiant bety mak him her syphantic Perss, and often while her lhe digs are gallopg swiftly over the ivori of the keyboard he nnot rist seizg them, and the trend of his dictatn be a mellifluo flood of "silly nothgs." It was durg one of the effervcent ebullns that Milady Gay enters the office. Convulsed wh rage, she go for the ro uple, throwg Gay to his chair; and drivg out the pretty typist, hurlg her cloak and hat, wh execratns, after her. Poor Gay. Explanatns and exc are futile. The Mrs. will engage the next typewrer, and at out she go qut of one to her own fancy. Gay tak advantage of her absence to meet the evicted charmer and together they go to a lobster palace to soothe their ffled nerv wh a ld bottle and a hot bird. But unelive wifey is on their trail, and he has barely time to get unr the table when she sh . His hidg place is disvered, and sardonilly brandishg a huge cha plaster, she brgs down upon the shell of his cerebm wh a jolt that loosens his teeth and rais an excrcence the size of an egg. Meanwhile the e of the trouble has flown, and Gay is led crtfallen back to the office, where the new typewrer awas him. Merciful heaven! What a sight. Hete, the wch, is a nymph of lovels pared to her. A fact that is an afflictn and a figure like a Che idol. Installg her the posn, Mrs. Gay, wh an air of satisfactn parts. Gay mak an effort to tolerate her prence, but is simply impossible, so dispatchg his office boy to the stumer's to procure the uglit mask his stock, he persuas the new amanuens wh a genero bribe of bank not to go; go and never return. The morn feme Eumenis, que overe by this magnanimo munificence, accepts the money and is off. The boy arriv wh the mask, and a msage is sent for the charmer, who returns and dons the mask durg wifey's lls, which scheme works like a charm. Mr. Gay next viss his favore manicure shop, and while the pretty manicurist is polishg his nails, persists playg the game of "holdg hands." His advanc are dly repulsed by the maid, and durg this ltle pleasantry Mrs. Gay enters and at once regnizg the voice of her hubby, climbs upon a chair to peer over the top of the screen that separat them. The sight she beholds throws her to a enzy of passn, which her to fall om her perch, entangled the screen and chairs, fightg, fumg, stgglg, screamg termagant om whom the tremblg Gay and poor manicure girls wer abject terror. Upon his return home the eveng, he is jt time to see a gentleman, wh the urtly bearg of an Italian nobleman, effively received by Mrs. Gay and ved to her boudoir. Gay's errg soul is torn wh jealoy, and seizg a revolver rolv self-stctn, but his urage fails him, and upon sober send thoughts, cis to put his apparent rival out of existence. So followg on to his wife's apartment he fds, much to his chagr as well as relief, that the imaged Barbarello is but an Italian barber, who has e to drs his wife's hair. Sheepishly he retir om the hoe and an attack of acute dipsosis seiz him. He arriv home a potulent, boozy ndn to fd Mrs. Gay, though bed, is awake to flg at him a most loquac tira. Nothg n stop her nerve-rackg harangue, until a bright ia strik the bibulo Gay, and he shuts her up the foldg bed, effectually drawg the curta over her curta lecture, and at the same time droppg the curta on a film story, that for bright, tellg edy suatns has never up to date been excelled. -- The Movg Picture World, December 21, 1907" data-id="ma