Gay Men and Their Mothers: Is There a Special Closens? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• ‘TRMATIZED’ DGHTER OF LGBT PARENTS: ‘MY GAY MOMS OPPRSED ME’
• HOW TO TELL YOUR MOM YOU ARE GAY
• GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?
• ROSIE O'DONNELL: BEG A GAY MOM
• GAY MOM
• “MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE
• GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?
• HOW TO DEAL WH HAVG GAY PARENTS
• GAY MOM ON ‘THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT’: ‘I KEPT FETTG IT WAS ABOUT LBIANS’
• TOM HOLLAND’S GAY SEX SCENE SETS SOCIAL MEDIA ALIGHT AFTER THE ACTOR SAID PLAYG THE ROLE ‘BROKE HIM’

‘TRMATIZED’ DGHTER OF LGBT PARENTS: ‘MY GAY MOMS OPPRSED ME’

“My gay moms opprsed me, ” she scribed alongsi the TikTok, which racked up 631, 000 views and more than 100, 000 lik as the natn celebrat Pri month. “I was raised by gay moms growg up, and I want to tell you about the tim that they did not accept me for who I was. In a separate clip posted earlier this month, Clemente humoroly “me out as straight” to her gay mom honor of Pri month via phone.

They reached out to two different gay men livg California (both were troduced by mutual iends) to donate the sperm need to nceive Rso-Young and her olr sister, Ca, now 41. Filmmaker Ry Rso-Young (top right) is the dghter of two lbians who battled urt wh Ry’s gay sperm donor, Tom Steel, over parental rights the ’ Post photo pose. Rso-Young’s goal for the film is to draw attentn to every gay fay, pecially sce the Equaly Act — which amends the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and clus protectns for LGBTQ+ people agast discrimatn — still has not been signed to law and signifint threats rema for LGBTQ+ fai.

You may realize, for stance, that you really want your mom to know when you realized you were gay. Article SummaryXTellg your mom that you’re gay n be nerve-wrackg, but wh a plan and a ltle bravery, you n get off your cht.

HOW TO TELL YOUR MOM YOU ARE GAY

You might want to clu thgs like when you learned you were gay, what ’s been like for you, and what your hop are for the future.

I mean, I remember growg up durg the women's liberatn movement when people were gay, they were straight, they were this, they were were no stereotyp... In her 2001 memoir Call Me Crazy, Anne Heche wrote of her difficult relatnship wh her gay or bisexual father (labels weren't specified), whom she also acced of sexual abe when she was a child. When he died of AIDS-related plitns, her mother Nancy beme a a "Christian therapist" who works wh homophobic, ex-gay relig mistri cludg Foc on the Fay.

When legendary actor Joel Grey me out as a gay man 2015, nobody was more supportive and happy than dghter Jennifer Grey. "I feel very happy for my dad that he has e to a pot his life where he feels safe and/or fortable enough to clare himself a public way as a gay man, " Grey told People at the time. This was found to be te for many of the mothers and sons I terviewed for the study scribed the book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child ().

GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?

Neverthels, this closens uld have a downsi, at least temporarily, as many mothers ially blame themselv and the close relatnships for their sons' homosexualy. So, perhaps is not pletely surprisg that once they learned their sons were gay, some of the mothers I terviewed felt that they had done somethg to damage them.

The fact is that I am the mother and I was told growg up that men bee gay bee their mothers are too motherg. For a long time, the psychiatric profsn blamed overly close maternal relatnships for g the "disease" of male homosexualy. Even though rearch sce the 1950's has bunked , this theory persists people's mds and rears s ugly head for mothers when they ially learn their sons are gay.

Fortunately, for many mothers of gay son—wh time and tn, they learn that the ia that they had somehow ma their son gay is ad wrong This was te of the mothers my study who also me to see the benefs havg a gay son as will be scribed later this post.

ROSIE O'DONNELL: BEG A GAY MOM

My rearch, clil and personal experienc suggt that there is ed a al lk between male homosexualy and a close maternal relatnship but flows the oppose directn than what was prevly thought. In other words, havg a close relatnship wh your mother don't make you gay—beg gay mak you closer to your mother. The young gay mal this study relled sharg terts mon wh their mothers, such as fashn and okg, and were also sensive to their feelgs.

I thk personally [beg gay] ma me a more emotnal person, more sensive, more touch wh both the male and female sis of myself, but allowg me to even acknowledge that other si ma me closer to my mother. Once mothers this study got over their feelgs of guilt and got ed to the ia that their sons were gay, they were able to regnize the benefs of havg a gay son. Closens between mothers and their gay sons is a stereotype and like all stereotyp, sometim they rg te.

GAY MOM

However, we get to hot water when we allow stereotyp to get the way of unrstandg the uniquens of dividuals and their circumstanc—so is important to remember that not all mothers and gay sons are close. Sadly, some mothers simply nnot adjt to their sons' homosexualy, due to their guilt, relig ncerns, or abily to "let go" and accept the ways they live their liv.

“MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE

For sure, gay men, their mothers and those who assist them need to explore and unrstand the val relatnships.

GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?

"I don't thk Ameri knows what a gay parent looks like: I am the gay parent, " the entertaer tells ABCNEWS' Diane Sawyer her first -pth terview about her sexualy.

She talked about her experienc as a gay parent publicly for the first time wh Sawyer, hopg to brg attentn to the issue of gay adoptn and a Florida law that prevents gay upl om adoptg. ‘I Totally Thk I’m Gay’There's no earth-shatterg g-out story, O'Donnell says, jt a realizatn that dawned on her a private moment.

"Part of the reason why I've never said that I was gay until now was bee I didn't want that adjective assigned to my name for all of eterny.

HOW TO DEAL WH HAVG GAY PARENTS

"O'Donnell, who lost her mother when she was 10 and scrib her father as "not very available, " says beg gay was not that big of an obstacle her generally difficult, she believ that beg gay is credibly challengg. And when she learned about a Florida gay parentg se, she found that reason and has ma her Lofton and Roger Crote are raisg five HIV-posive children, three of whom are foster kids.

Lofton and Crote would like to adopt Bert, but unr Florida law they n't, bee they are O'Donnell read about the Lofton-Crote se, she thought about her adopted son Parker: "My Lord, if somebody me to me now and said … 'We're gog to take him now bee you're gay, ' my world would llapse. "The Right to ParentO'Donnell says her own experienc as a mother make her certa that gay people should have the right to be parents.

Any while the children of gay parents may face some ridicule om their peers, O'Donnell thks they n get past that. But if I were to pick, would I rather have my children have to go through the stggl of beg gay Ameri, or beg heterosexual? "After emphasizg how much easier is to be straight than gay, she says she wouldn't change her own sexualy.

GAY MOM ON ‘THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT’: ‘I KEPT FETTG IT WAS ABOUT LBIANS’

This reprents A safe haven for the LGBT muny for those who fay has disowned LaVaL December 7, 2015Get the gay mom ar iend is like my therapist. If God bls Dan and me wh a child who is gay, I would want that child to know whout a doubt that he or she is loved unndnally.

I believe Rachel’s motivatn is to create a more welg and lovg environment the church for those who intify themselv as homosexuals, or who stggle wh homosexual sire. I admire and agree wh her motive, and mt say that I’ve learned om her this area of beg much more reful how I speak and wre about homosexualy. First, she don’t munite any ncern about the sfulns of homosexual sir nor the immoraly of homosexual actns.

She seems to nvey that homosexual sir are not part of human brokenns, and that to pursue homosexual practic do not have any bearg on a person’s relatnship wh Christ. Send, Rachel seems to intify everyone who tak the view that homosexual sir are part of broken human sfulns, and that homosexual actns are s, as bulli.

TOM HOLLAND’S GAY SEX SCENE SETS SOCIAL MEDIA ALIGHT AFTER THE ACTOR SAID PLAYG THE ROLE ‘BROKE HIM’

However, ’s irrponsible and unfair to group all who say that homosexualy is immoral as bulli of Christ’s ltle on. Sixth, if your son agre that homosexualy is sful, and he wants to have victory over the temptatns, then there are many Gospel promis you n enurage him wh. However, if he says that he believ homosexualy to be okay and he’s cid to pursue , then while assurg him of your ntued love and re, you mt lovgly warn him of the spirual and physil dangers of homosexualy.

Seventh, I’d enurage the son not to see himself as a homosexual, not to fe himself by his sexualy. Rather I’d want him to see himself as creature ma God’s image, a man wh many parts to his inty, a person wh many gifts, a son wh a diverse character and personaly, one part of which, at least for the moment, is to have a homosexual sir. Eighth, I would ask him to keep g to church, pecially as homosexualy is sometim the rult of worshippg self rather than God (Romans 1:24-25).