When your child tells you they're gay - Foc on the Fay Canada

Contents:

• RPONDG TO TEEN CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY
• SUPPORT FOR PARENTS OF CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY
• RPONDG LOVE TO AN ADULT GAY CHILD
• GAY-INTIFIED ADULT CHILD LIVG IN PARENTS’ HOME
• RPONDG TO ADULT CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY
• PARENTS CONCERNED ABOUT YOUNG KIDS INTERACTG WH GAY NEIGHBORS
• WHEN YOUR CHILD TELLS YOU THEY'RE GAY
• FOC ON THE FAY'S LGBTQ DCENDANTS: EXECUTIVE'S GAY DGHTER SPEAKS OUT
• IF YOUR CHILD SAYS "I'M GAY"
• LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG

RPONDG TO TEEN CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY

Rourc When Your Child Enunters LGBT Iology at SchoolHow to Talk To Your Children About Homosexualy (PDF)Talkg Wh Kids About Abortn and HomosexualyHow to Talk to Your Children About HomosexualyHow to Fd Counselg Support for Teen Wh Sexual Inty IssuParent Concerned That Teen Might Be HomosexualIs My Teen Stgglg Wh Homosexualy? Rpondg to Adult Child Who Says He’s GayRpondg to Teen Child Who Says He’s GaySupport for Parents of Child Who Says He’s GayTellg Friends and Relativ About a Child Who Says He’s GayGay-Intified Adult Child Livg In Parents’ HomeGrown Son Wants to Brg Gay Partner to Fay GathergsParents Concerned About Young Kids Interactg Wh Gay NeighborsParent Spects That Child Might Be GayTalkg Wh Teens About Dad’s Same-Sex Extramaral AffairSame-Sex Socializatn and ToddlersAnswerg Parents’ Qutns on Genr Confn ChildrenHelp! God is Patient, Be Patient Wh Yourself as You Leave HomosexualyGay Individual Feels Rejected by ChristiansChristian Sgle Experiencg Same-Sex Attractn Feels StuckSame-Sex Attractns and Sexual IntyLove, Sex, and Same-Sex OrientatnStgglg Wh Same-Sex AttractnsI’ve bee sexually volved wh another woman.

SUPPORT FOR PARENTS OF CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY

Interactg Wh a Gay-Intified FriendRpondg to a “Gay Christian” the Fay10 Thgs Everyone Should Know About a Christian View of HomosexualyAttendg a Fay Gatherg Includg a Same-Sex CoupleDecidg Whether to Attend a Same-Sex WeddgBiblil Perspective on Homosexualy and Same-Sex MarriageWhen Homosexualy Hs Home for the Holidays. And most of isn’t g om a Christian, the time parents spend trag and equippg their children to know God’s Word, to discern the tth, and to rpond nfintly, wsomely and biblilly to cultural prsur is not only cril, ’s on the Fay’s latt Thrivg Valu gui, “How to Talk to Your Children about Homosexualy: A Parent’s Gui, ” helps parents addrs one of the most challengg polil, social, moral and personal topics of our day. We n tell you that the mistry of Foc on the Fay has always believed and tght that homosexual behavr is nsistent wh God’s sign for human sexualy as set forth the pag of Scripture; and that, for this reason, we unrstand and have natural sympathi wh your ncerns about dog anythg that might be terpreted as “ndong” or “endorsg” homosexual activy or your son’s viewpots regardg a gay inty.

A Change of Affectn: A Gay Man’s Incredible Story of Remptn by Beckett CookThe powerful, dramatic story of how a succsful Hollywood set signer whose inty was eply rooted his homosexualy me to be sudnly and utterly transformed by the power of the Bible and Homosexual Practice: Text and Hermentics by Robert A.

He challeng rears to nsir how to uphold God’s mand to love Him and our Out of Homosexualy: New Freedom for Men and Women by Bob Davi and Lori RentzelFd answers for what means to be a man or a woman, how your past relat to your prent, how you n form healthy relatnships, and how your healg may prepare you for heterosexual Into Manhood: Rumg the Journey by Alan P. By Sam AllberryThis easy-to-unrstand book offers scriptural tths about marriage, sexualy, and same-sex Into Light: The Gospel, the Homosexual, and the Church by Peter HubbardHubbard enurag the Church to humbly engage those who experience same-sex attractn, drawg them to God’s Kdns by Barry Corey“Disver the Power of a Fotten Christian Virtue”Lovg My (LGBT) Neighbor by Glenn Stanton“Beg Friends Grace and Tth”Msy Grace by Caleb Kaltenbach“How a Pastor Wh Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Whout Sacrificg Convictn”Out of a Far Country by Christopher YuanA Gay Son’s Journey to God. Schmidt“Compassn & Clary the Homosexualy Debate”The Tth Com Out: The Story of My Heart’s Transformatn by Nancy Heche (not currently available through Foc on the Fay)After losg her hband to AIDS and her son a r crash, Heche’s youngt dghter, Anne, beme volved a high-profile lbian relatnship.

RPONDG LOVE TO AN ADULT GAY CHILD

Dir Conflict: Hope for Men Who Stggle Wh Sexual IntyDallas offers reassurance and practil advice to the Christian alg wh same-sex attractn—and he clus an orthodox terpretatn of Scripture that refut pro-gay Homosexualy Hs Home: What to do When a Loved One Says, “I’m Gay”Dallas explas how to blend passn and nvictn. The Complete Christian Gui to Unrstandg Homosexualy by Joe Dallas and Nancy Heche For fai, pastors, unselors, and those who stggle wh same-sex attractn, Dallas and Heche offer sights on homosexual marriage and adoptn, how to rpond when a iend announc that he or she is gay-intified, and more.

He enurag Christians not to be timidated by the gay rights movement but to promote tth and to build and provi a place of safety, keepg md the eternal souls of all Others Whout Sacrificg Convictn (Pastor Caleb Kaltenbach)Kaltenbach shar his story of growg up wh gay parents, and the hatred his fay experienced om Christians. Transformed by Grace: Leavg Homosexualy to Follow Christ (Beckett Cook) Becket Cook shar his story as a former homosexual who worked the world of fashn and lived a promiscuo liftyle until he had a transformg enunter wh J Christ which led him to walk away om Kdns to Open Doors the Culture (Dr.

Foc on the Fay’s Christian Counselor NetworkSearch for licensed Christian unselors your Alliance for Theraptic Choice and Scientific Integry“A multi-disciplary profsnal and scientific anizatn dited to prervg the right of dividuals to obta the servic of a therapist who honors their valu, advotg for tegry and objectivy social science rearch, and ensurg that petent licensed, profsnal assistance is available for persons who experience unwanted homosexual attractns. ”Courage Internatnal, apostolate of the Catholic Church misters to those wh same-sex attractn and their loved Stream MistriThis mistry offers Christ-centered help for those who stggle wh sexual and relatnship Global AllianceExod Global Alliance provis remendatns of mistri and other rourc outsi the Uned Instute for Maral HealgRichard Fzgibbons has spent over 30 years helpg people al wh marriage and fay issu, fivens, homosexualy, and genr dysphoria/genr inty Seiler“Seiler once had plans to have sex reassignment surgery, change her name to David, and live happily ever after. Rtored Hope NetworkThis aln of mistri reach out to those who stggle wh sexual s, particularly Rogers CommunitnsRogers tells his story of leavg homosexualy and transgenrism, speaks about remptn for broken sexualy, and offers help for pure livg our hyper-sexualized culture.

GAY-INTIFIED ADULT CHILD LIVG IN PARENTS’ HOME

In his book ReFoc: Livg a Life that Reflects God's Heart, he scrib a ffee meetg wh a proment "homosexual advote, " as one of the "most betiful moments" his twenty-pl years of mistry; yet, he's immediately probed back at the Foc office by someone admonishg him on how embarrassg might be if word got out he was associatg wh a gay person. But unrstandg the genis of your child's homosexualy n do a lot of thgs for you -- both good and bad; n give you greater empathy, brg about (or elimate) feelgs of guilt, certify that "gut feelg" that ma you unfortable about "that one relatnship" or enurage dialogue about sexual abe. However, children who sire help addrsg their same-sex attractns and are blsed wh the safe and hont support of fay often experience accelerated om 101 Frequently Asked Qutns About Homosexualy by Mike Haley; Copyright 2004 by Mike Haley, Published by Harvt Hoe Publishers, Eugene, OR; Used by Permissn.

Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002). The relevance of this cricism has been greatly rced as rearch has expand to explore life a wir array of lbian mother and gay father fai (many of which have never lived through the divorce of a heterosexual uple), and as newer studi beg to clu a wir array of ntrol groups. An expert readg of the Sarantakos article reveals that certa characteristics of s methodology and sample are highly likely to have skewed the rults and renred them an valid ditor of the well-beg of children raised by gay and lbian parents at least three rpects:.

Some nonscientific anizatns have attempted to nvce urts that there is an actual scientific dispute this area by cg rearch performed by Pl Cameron as supportg the existence of fics gay and lbian parents or their children pared to heterosexual parents or their children.

RPONDG TO ADULT CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY

Three ncerns have historilly been associated wh judicial cisn makg ctody ligatn and public polici erng foster re and adoptn: the belief that lbians and gay men are mentally ill, that lbians are ls maternal than heterosexual women, and that lbians' and gay men's relatnships wh sexual partners leave ltle time for ongog parent-child teractns (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Falk, 1989, 1994; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). Many years ago, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn removed "homosexualy" om s list of mental disorrs, statg that "homosexualy per se impli no impairment judgment, stabily, reliabily, or general social or votnal pabili" (Amerin Psychiatric Associatn, 1974). The cisn to remove homosexual orientatn om the list of mental disorrs reflects extensive rearch nducted over three s showg that homosexual orientatn is not a psychologil maladjtment (Gonsrek, 1991; Hart, Roback, Ttler, Wez, Walston, & McKee, 1978; Reiss, 1980).

PARENTS CONCERNED ABOUT YOUNG KIDS INTERACTG WH GAY NEIGHBORS

There is no reliable evince that homosexual orientatn per se impairs psychologil functng, although the social and other circumstanc which lbians and gay men live, cludg exposure to wispread prejudice and discrimatn, often e acute distrs (Cochran, 2001; Freedman, 1971; Gonsrek, 1991; Hart et al., 1978; Hooker, 1957; Meyer, 2003; Reiss, 1980).

Beliefs that lbian and gay adults are not f parents likewise have no empiril foundatn (Anrssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perr, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995).

A recent study of 256 lbian and gay parent fai found that, ntrast to patterns characterizg the majory of Amerin parents, very few lbian and gay parents reported any e of physil punishment (such as spankg) as a disciplary technique; stead, they were likely to report e of posive techniqu such as reasong (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certaly, rearch has found no reasons to believe lbian mothers or gay fathers to be unf parents (Armto, 2002; Barret & Robson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jabsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Wton, 1991).

WHEN YOUR CHILD TELLS YOU THEY'RE GAY

For stance, one such ncern is that children brought up by lbian mothers or gay fathers will show disturbanc genr inty and/or genr role behavr (Falk, 1989, 1994; Hchens & Kirkpatrick, 1985; Kleber, Howell, & Tibbs-Kleber, 1986; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). Three aspects of sexual inty are nsired the rearch: genr inty, which ncerns a person's self-intifitn as male or female; genr-role behavr, which ncerns the extent to which a person's activi, occupatns, and the like are regard by the culture as mascule, feme, or both; and sexual orientatn, which refers to a person's choice of sexual partners, who may be homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual (Money & Ehrhardt, 1972; Ste, 1993).

Although some children have scribed enunters wh anti-gay remarks om peers (Gartrell et al., 2005), young adult offsprg of divorced lbian mothers did not rell beg the targets of any more childhood teasg or victimizatn than did the offsprg of divorced heterosexual mothers (Tasker & Golombok, 1995, 1997). Much of the existg rearch on lbian mothers, gay fathers, and their children was iated to addrs ncerns that arose for such fai the ntext of child ctody disput, and was apparently signed at least part to exame the veracy of mon stereotyp that have been voiced legal proceedgs.

FOC ON THE FAY'S LGBTQ DCENDANTS: EXECUTIVE'S GAY DGHTER SPEAKS OUT

It is clear that existg rearch provis no basis for believg that children's bt terts are served by fay nflict or secrecy about a parent's lbian or gay inty, or by requirements that a lbian or gay parent mata a hoehold separate om that of a same-sex partner. Although those om lbian fai were more likely to explore same-sex relatnships, particularly if their childhood fay environment was characterized by an openns and acceptance of lbian and gay relatnships, the large majory of children who grew up lbian fai intified as heterosexual. Subjects evaluated vigt pictg eher a gay male uple or heterosexual uple and their adopted son along the dimensns of parentg abily, gree to which the child's problems were attributable to the parental relatnship, distrs of the child (cludg genr and sexual inty nfn), and the extent to which ctody reassignment was perceived to be beneficial.

A sgle qutn on relatnship satisfactn revealed no signifint difference between groups reported satisfactn, while the 32-em DAS revealed the gay parentg upl to be signifintly more satisfied wh their relatnships than the heterosexual upl, pecially the area of dyadic hn and affective exprsn.

IF YOUR CHILD SAYS "I'M GAY"

Four issu equently raised ctody s are discsed: Do gay fathers have children to ver their homosexualy, do they molt their children, do their children turn out to be gay disproportnate numbers, and do havg a gay father expose a child to homophobic harassment.

LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG

A review of rearch on children of lbian and gay parents intifi some of the sourc of diversy wh lbian and gay parentg muni / prent rearch on those who beme parents the ntext of heterosexual relatnships, before g out as lbian or gay / scribe studi of lbians who beme parents after g out [prent] rearch on children born the ntext of heterosexual relatnships...

The amework foc on (1) whether selectn effects produced by homophobia acunt for associatns between parental sexual orientatns and child out; (2) the role of parental genr vis-à-vis sexual orientatn fluencg children's genr velopment; and (3) the relatnship between parental sexual orientatns and children's sexual preferenc and behavrs. The studi reviewed and the fdgs this chapter ought to be the touchstone of further theory and rearch the study of homosexualy, bee they reprent the most refully signed, reliable, valid, and objective measur of adjtment the armamentarium of the behavral scienc.