Fear of Beg Gay | NOCD

Contents:

• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD
• 'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

Currently sufferg om OCD (Obssive Compulsive Disorr)Recurrg unwanted or tsive thoughts about your own sexualyConstantly reassurg yourself that you are straightAvoidg people of your same genr due to anxiety or unwanted fears that you might be gayWorryg that you might be sendg out “signals” that will make others thk you are gayHomosexual thoughts are repulsive to you, rather than arogFeelg no attractn to your same sexRepeatg an actn bee you worry that you might have done somethg a way that mak others thk you are gay (example: a man repeatedly gets up and ss down on a chair bee he worri that he tak a seat a way that looks too feme). Homosexual thoughts are enjoyable and/or arog to the person, even if they hi their sexual orientatn om others or are ashamed of Havg had past sexual experienc wh those of their same genrPreferrg to date or have sexual enunters wh people of their same genr stead of wh those of the oppose sexOften, people who are gay report havg felt differently than their same-sex peers at an early age.

A person sufferg om this sub-type of OCD nstantly doubts their sexual orientatn:A straight person worri whether they might actually be gay even though they haven’t doubted their sexual orientatn the pastThey might worry that homosexualy is “tchg”They may thk that talkg wh a gay person will make them act out by triggerg their own latent homosexual tennci. I have had hocd for about 17 years now, and I have the groal rponse hocd, but what’s been happeng for the past year the rponse is stronger and now I get like excement feelgs and my penis gets a ltle bigger and when I tt myself wh gay sexual thoughts I don’t know that I don’t like anymore and when my penis mov when this is happeng I thk this means I am gay or bisexual….

YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD

If you were to track somethg like gay pornography om s least mdful perspective to s most mdful, would go like this: a terrifyg threat to your existence, a potential source of nfn about sexualy, gay people havg sex, imagery pictg gay people havg sex, erotic imagery, imagery on a puter or tv screen, and fally, lights on a box wh sounds.

Freaked out: went to work…saw a uple of girls thought they were attractive and I thought of beg wh them sexually and I was gettg aroed then I started talkg to a worker who is gay and he was cheery when greetg me and then I saw a betiful girl who I was attracted to but I was discsg somethg wh you the gay worker and he was cheery and I thought he’s all bubbly and I felt a weird magic kid oof attractn or somethg and I thought he’s good lookg and I looked at him when he walked and noticed and thought he looked gay and I had a feelg my penis…and I thk I had a thought about kissg him and a feelg gro aga… was weird I don’t know if was anxiety or if I really liked him or I was jt aroed general wh all the women I was seeg and gettg turned on by……or I don’t know if this means I amm gay or bisexual now……what was that?

Im not diagnosed wh OCD, but seeg as my problem was centered aeound anxiety, nd havg suffered om anxiety all my life (led to believe as my dad was never around) she thought was a simple anxiety problem, though bee s not OCD (When first started, whout lookg onle i was mentally checkg) dont mean im gay, my therapist said s not un mon for people my age (18) to obss over their sexually. And a thought of “maybe ’s bee you’re supposed to be wh a girl” and my whole life fell apart that seemed to make sense so I me out to my parents and everythg however I didn’t want a relatnship wh a woman and I didn’t want to go near one sexually once I accepted they I was gay and got my life back orr mean while I still had anxiety still didn’t seem to be the answer then I started fdg men attractive aga and was like no I’m not gay how ridiculo I’m straight!!

'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY

I have been alg wh unwanted gay thought s for about a year now I don’t like the thoughts I get really big migra when they bash themselv to my head and I get really anx I nstantly check myself for aroal and even if I’ve read this webse all I have managed to do is latch onto the negative thgs I read and right now I’m up to the pot where I evenn believe Imight be gay. There is so much more I uld say I feel like I’m beg tortured my own body and my life is jt cmblg around me I have also been diagnosed wh prsn and generalized anxiety but not OCD I found this webse by mere chance I don’t unrstand what’s happeng anymore and one of my biggt qutns is HOCD somethg I’m hopg I have jt so I don’t believe I’m gay or is real I have all the symptoms but is jt me hopg ’s real bee I don’t want to be gay I have no problem wh gay people or beg gay what bothers me is that I know me and I know that ’s wrong but I feel like my md and subnscareelg me other wise I’m tired of the thoughts I do not want them anymore I mange to reprs them for awhile then I get h twice as hard I’m at the end of the rope here I hontly don’t know what to believe and what to feel I hontly have no tert Anythg anymore I uld say more wre a book on this as I’m sure everyone else uld and I know that I’m probably dog this to re assure myself but please uld anyone help me.