For A Mom, Learng To Accept A Gay Son Was 'Nonnegotiable' : NPR

Contents:

• “MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE
• FOR A MOM, LEARNG TO ACCEPT A GAY SON WAS 'NONNEGOTIABLE'
• EVANGELILS WH GAY CHILDREN CHALLENGE CHURCH
• MOMMI DEART: MOTHERS AND GAY SONS ON FILM
• COMG OUT TO MY MOM: A LETTER TO MOTHERS OF GAY SONS
• MOM WHO INIALLY STGGLED TO ACCEPT HER GAY SON NOW STANDS IN AT SAME-SEX WEDDGS

“MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE

Perhaps is not surprisg that mothers and their gay sons often scribe their relatnships as close. However, beg gay might be a factor that mak some mothers and sons even closer. This was found to be te for many of the mothers and sons I terviewed for the study scribed the book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child ().

Neverthels, this closens uld have a downsi, at least temporarily, as many mothers ially blame themselv and the close relatnships for their sons' homosexualy. So, perhaps is not pletely surprisg that once they learned their sons were gay, some of the mothers I terviewed felt that they had done somethg to damage them. The fact is that I am the mother and I was told growg up that men bee gay bee their mothers are too motherg.

For a long time, the psychiatric profsn blamed overly close maternal relatnships for g the "disease" of male homosexualy.

FOR A MOM, LEARNG TO ACCEPT A GAY SON WAS 'NONNEGOTIABLE'

Even though rearch sce the 1950's has bunked , this theory persists people's mds and rears s ugly head for mothers when they ially learn their sons are gay.

EVANGELILS WH GAY CHILDREN CHALLENGE CHURCH

Fortunately, for many mothers of gay son—wh time and tn, they learn that the ia that they had somehow ma their son gay is ad wrong This was te of the mothers my study who also me to see the benefs havg a gay son as will be scribed later this post. My rearch, clil and personal experienc suggt that there is ed a al lk between male homosexualy and a close maternal relatnship but flows the oppose directn than what was prevly thought.

In other words, havg a close relatnship wh your mother don't make you gay—beg gay mak you closer to your mother. The young gay mal this study relled sharg terts mon wh their mothers, such as fashn and okg, and were also sensive to their feelgs. Whatever s e, this feelg of monaly and nnectn to mothers is a unique (and fortunate!) aspect of the parent-child relatnship some gay fai.

MOMMI DEART: MOTHERS AND GAY SONS ON FILM

I thk personally [beg gay] ma me a more emotnal person, more sensive, more touch wh both the male and female sis of myself, but allowg me to even acknowledge that other si ma me closer to my mother. Once mothers this study got over their feelgs of guilt and got ed to the ia that their sons were gay, they were able to regnize the benefs of havg a gay son. Closens between mothers and their gay sons is a stereotype and like all stereotyp, sometim they rg te.

However, we get to hot water when we allow stereotyp to get the way of unrstandg the uniquens of dividuals and their circumstanc—so is important to remember that not all mothers and gay sons are close. Sadly, some mothers simply nnot adjt to their sons' homosexualy, due to their guilt, relig ncerns, or abily to "let go" and accept the ways they live their liv. For sure, gay men, their mothers and those who assist them need to explore and unrstand the val relatnships.

COMG OUT TO MY MOM: A LETTER TO MOTHERS OF GAY SONS

The anizatn Gay Sons and Mothers shows the impact of mothers who support their queer sons. On social media, the group featur imag of gay men and their mothers behd them, highlightg the importance the women have their sons' liv.

Psychotherapist Rick Miller set out to do so and found Gay Sons and Mothers 2018. "After beg blamed for makg their sons gay the 70's, moms now get the regnn they serve for raisg betiful sons, " Miller out more about the group here.

Rachel Held Evans nclus her blog post If my son or dghter were gay wh this paragraph:.

MOM WHO INIALLY STGGLED TO ACCEPT HER GAY SON NOW STANDS IN AT SAME-SEX WEDDGS

If God bls Dan and me wh a child who is gay, I would want that child to know whout a doubt that he or she is loved unndnally. I believe Rachel’s motivatn is to create a more welg and lovg environment the church for those who intify themselv as homosexuals, or who stggle wh homosexual sire. I admire and agree wh her motive, and mt say that I’ve learned om her this area of beg much more reful how I speak and wre about homosexualy.

First, she don’t munite any ncern about the sfulns of homosexual sir nor the immoraly of homosexual actns. She seems to nvey that homosexual sir are not part of human brokenns, and that to pursue homosexual practic do not have any bearg on a person’s relatnship wh Christ. ” There is no ditn that she se anythg wrong or unbiblil about homosexualy.

Send, Rachel seems to intify everyone who tak the view that homosexual sir are part of broken human sfulns, and that homosexual actns are s, as bulli. However, ’s irrponsible and unfair to group all who say that homosexualy is immoral as bulli of Christ’s ltle on. Sixth, if your son agre that homosexualy is sful, and he wants to have victory over the temptatns, then there are many Gospel promis you n enurage him wh.

However, if he says that he believ homosexualy to be okay and he’s cid to pursue , then while assurg him of your ntued love and re, you mt lovgly warn him of the spirual and physil dangers of homosexualy.