Gay Men and Their Mothers: Is There a Special Closens? | Psychology Today

mothers of gay sons

Kev Maxen, an associate strength ach wh the Jacksonville Jaguars, has bee the first male ach a major U.S.-based profsnal league to e out as gay.

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MOM WHO INIALLY STGGLED TO ACCEPT HER GAY SON NOW STANDS IN AT SAME-SEX WEDDGS

Sara Cunngham stggled when her son told her he was gay. Now she volunteers as a stand- mom at same-sex weddgs when the blogil parents refe to attend. * mothers of gay sons *

Fally, when he turned 21, Parker told his mother a tth he had only hted at before: he is gay.

"I jt remember that I had to face realy that moment, that hour, that I have a gay child, " said Sara. "I’ve heard said that when a gay child out of their closet, the parents often go to theirs and that’s te, " she one of those days, Parker me to her room to ask if she was OK.

But she’s here now and wants to help others the gay muny who are stgglg wh rejectn om their now volunteers to go to other same-sex weddgs if the blogil parents refe to attend. Perhaps is not surprisg that mothers and their gay sons often scribe their relatnships as close. However, beg gay might be a factor that mak some mothers and sons even closer.

JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR US-BASED PRO LEAGU

* mothers of gay sons *

This was found to be te for many of the mothers and sons I terviewed for the study scribed the book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child (). Neverthels, this closens uld have a downsi, at least temporarily, as many mothers ially blame themselv and the close relatnships for their sons' homosexualy.

So, perhaps is not pletely surprisg that once they learned their sons were gay, some of the mothers I terviewed felt that they had done somethg to damage them.

The fact is that I am the mother and I was told growg up that men bee gay bee their mothers are too motherg. For a long time, the psychiatric profsn blamed overly close maternal relatnships for g the "disease" of male homosexualy.

GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?

The photos om Gay Sons and Mothers exemplify the posive impact mothers n have the liv of queer men. * mothers of gay sons *

Even though rearch sce the 1950's has bunked , this theory persists people's mds and rears s ugly head for mothers when they ially learn their sons are gay. Fortunately, for many mothers of gay son—wh time and tn, they learn that the ia that they had somehow ma their son gay is ad wrong This was te of the mothers my study who also me to see the benefs havg a gay son as will be scribed later this post.

Homosexualy to Blame for Close Relatnships wh Mother?

My rearch, clil and personal experienc suggt that there is ed a al lk between male homosexualy and a close maternal relatnship but flows the oppose directn than what was prevly thought. In other words, havg a close relatnship wh your mother don't make you gay—beg gay mak you closer to your mother.

GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG

The northern Italian cy of Padua has started removg the nam of non-blogil gay mothers om their children’s birth certifit unr new legislatn passed by the “tradnal fay-first” ernment of Prime Mister Grgia Meloni. * mothers of gay sons *

The young gay mal this study relled sharg terts mon wh their mothers, such as fashn and okg, and were also sensive to their feelgs. Whatever s e, this feelg of monaly and nnectn to mothers is a unique (and fortunate!) aspect of the parent-child relatnship some gay fai.

FOR A MOM, LEARNG TO ACCEPT A GAY SON WAS 'NONNEGOTIABLE'

My mother, and my (gay) self. * mothers of gay sons *

As stated by Tariq, a 19-year-old Ain Amerin gay man:.

I thk personally [beg gay] ma me a more emotnal person, more sensive, more touch wh both the male and female sis of myself, but allowg me to even acknowledge that other si ma me closer to my mother.

HAVG MORE OLR BROTHERS CREAS MEN’S ODDS OF BEG GAY, STUDY NFIRMS

Fathers and gay sons: A plited, vally important relatnship. * mothers of gay sons *

Once mothers this study got over their feelgs of guilt and got ed to the ia that their sons were gay, they were able to regnize the benefs of havg a gay son. Bee gay people are gay! That is why gay people are lled "gay!" There is a wonrful spir ...

Closens between mothers and their gay sons is a stereotype and like all stereotyp, sometim they rg te.

MOMMI DEART: MOTHERS AND GAY SONS ON FILM

When Connie Casey learned her adolcent son was gay, she blamed herself and sent him to nversn therapy for several years. But when Samuel, now 22, went away to llege, Connie says, she realized that " was time to take a look at everythg that I'd ever been tght to believe." * mothers of gay sons *

However, we get to hot water when we allow stereotyp to get the way of unrstandg the uniquens of dividuals and their circumstanc—so is important to remember that not all mothers and gay sons are close. Sadly, some mothers simply nnot adjt to their sons' homosexualy, due to their guilt, relig ncerns, or abily to "let go" and accept the ways they live their liv. For sure, gay men, their mothers and those who assist them need to explore and unrstand the val relatnships.

Gay men have, on average, a greater number of olr brothers pared wh their heterosexual unterparts. * mothers of gay sons *

Michael Sam beme the first openly gay player to be drafted when the then-St. 15 Photos Celebratg the Mothers of Gay Men.

The anizatn Gay Sons and Mothers shows the impact of mothers who support their queer sons.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* MOTHERS OF GAY SONS

For A Mom, Learng To Accept A Gay Son Was 'Nonnegotiable' : NPR .

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