Gay Men and Their Mothers: Is There a Special Closens? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?
• DEAR PARENT OF A GAY CHILD
• MOTHER AND GAY SON QUOT
• GAY SON QUOT
• DEAR MOM: THANKS. LOVE, YOUR GAY SON

GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?

" — Tammy Baldw"The next time someone asks you why LGBT Pri march exist or why Gay Pri Month is June tell them, 'A bisexual woman named Brenda Howard thought should be. " — David Carter, "Stonewall: The Rts That Sparked the Gay Revolutn""Every sgle Amerin — gay, straight, lbian, bisexual, transgenr — every sgle Amerin serv to be treated equally the ey of the law and the ey of our society. Perhaps is not surprisg that mothers and their gay sons often scribe their relatnships as close.

However, beg gay might be a factor that mak some mothers and sons even closer. This was found to be te for many of the mothers and sons I terviewed for the study scribed the book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child (). Neverthels, this closens uld have a downsi, at least temporarily, as many mothers ially blame themselv and the close relatnships for their sons' homosexualy.

DEAR PARENT OF A GAY CHILD

So, perhaps is not pletely surprisg that once they learned their sons were gay, some of the mothers I terviewed felt that they had done somethg to damage them. The fact is that I am the mother and I was told growg up that men bee gay bee their mothers are too motherg.

For a long time, the psychiatric profsn blamed overly close maternal relatnships for g the "disease" of male homosexualy.

MOTHER AND GAY SON QUOT

Even though rearch sce the 1950's has bunked , this theory persists people's mds and rears s ugly head for mothers when they ially learn their sons are gay. Fortunately, for many mothers of gay son—wh time and tn, they learn that the ia that they had somehow ma their son gay is ad wrong This was te of the mothers my study who also me to see the benefs havg a gay son as will be scribed later this post. Homosexualy to Blame for Close Relatnships wh Mother?

My rearch, clil and personal experienc suggt that there is ed a al lk between male homosexualy and a close maternal relatnship but flows the oppose directn than what was prevly thought. In other words, havg a close relatnship wh your mother don't make you gay—beg gay mak you closer to your mother. The young gay mal this study relled sharg terts mon wh their mothers, such as fashn and okg, and were also sensive to their feelgs.

) aspect of the parent-child relatnship some gay fai. As stated by Tariq, a 19-year-old Ain Amerin gay man:.

GAY SON QUOT

I thk personally [beg gay] ma me a more emotnal person, more sensive, more touch wh both the male and female sis of myself, but allowg me to even acknowledge that other si ma me closer to my mother. Once mothers this study got over their feelgs of guilt and got ed to the ia that their sons were gay, they were able to regnize the benefs of havg a gay son. Bee gay people are gay!

That is why gay people are lled "gay! Closens between mothers and their gay sons is a stereotype and like all stereotyp, sometim they rg te.

However, we get to hot water when we allow stereotyp to get the way of unrstandg the uniquens of dividuals and their circumstanc—so is important to remember that not all mothers and gay sons are close.

DEAR MOM: THANKS. LOVE, YOUR GAY SON

Sadly, some mothers simply nnot adjt to their sons' homosexualy, due to their guilt, relig ncerns, or abily to "let go" and accept the ways they live their liv. For sure, gay men, their mothers and those who assist them need to explore and unrstand the val relatnships. Longtime ally and supporter of the Human Rights Campaign, Sally Field wrote a lengthy say scribg her son's experience g to his own as a gay man, and how important beg a part of that experience was to her.

Mary Osmond is a practicg Mormon, and her relig beliefs do not get the way of beg a very supportive mom to her openly gay dghter Jsi. You know Anne Rice as the wildly succsful thor of Interview Wh a Vampire, but she's also the proud mom of gay son Christopher, who's also an thor!

Barbra and her son Jason, who is gay, are so close they even rerd a duet together 2014! "It's difficult for me to unrstand a fay member judgg or not lovg or acceptg another fay member bee they are gay, "Ally said an terview wh the Wdy Cy Tim, "It's like when a member of the fay marri someone who is of another race or relign. Ante Beng and Warren Beatty's son Stephen is a gay trans wrer, poet, and activist who's has also posted -pth about his experience and inty on YouTube (you n check out one of his vios here).