Gay son | Mums

Contents:

• FOUND OUT SON IS GAY
• MY SON IS GAY
• GAY SON?
• GAY SON
• HOMOPHOBIC HBAND NOT ACCEPTG GAY SON
• GAY SON AND YOUNGER SIBLGS
• HAS ANYONE GOT A GAY SON?
• MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE
• GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?
• INTER SLAPS DOWN MOTHER OF GROOM'S WHE 'BRIDAL' DRS FOR SON'S GAY WEDDG
• I TRIED TO STOP MY SON FROM BEG GAY. I WISH I HADN'T
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• ‘WE ARE EXPECTED TO BE OK WH NOT HAVG CHILDREN’: HOW GAY PARENTHOOD THROUGH SURROGACY BEME A BATTLEGROUND
• MOTHERS’ SUPPORT GAVE GAY SON LOVE TO LAST A LIFETIME

FOUND OUT SON IS GAY

He’s ually been open wh me, bothers bee I thk he may be unr the imprsn I wouldn’t approve of him beg gay, which is jt not te. My 16 year old son has jt told me he is gay but di not want anyone else to know at the moment.

MY SON IS GAY

I have plenty of gay and lbian iends and is certaly no big al however I am upset as I was not expectg this and his future as I expected has gone. I won't be a grandma ( he is an only child) I worry about him anyway but more so if he's gay due to the news we hear alot about homophobic asslts etc.

I don't know where you live, but when I was much younger I went to a gay youth group that had an upper age range of 25. My son is 15 and recently me out to myself and my hband as gay (the only other people he had told were a few close iends).

I'm not homophobic but obvly I was a ltle shocked (although I n't say I didn't have any sort of klg) but overall I am fe wh , and he knows that. I know my hband's negative opns towards homosexualy (which I do not agree wh) and so do my son, so I'm amazed at how brave he was. Jt to add my olr son is gay as well but he's very private so he would not display any noticeable effectn anyway.

GAY SON?

In September he'll leave the fants for the junrs and there's a prsg level of homophobia or genr stereotypg/panic go on there. I would tell the other parent most s BUT if they showed any signs of homophobia I wouldn't say a word as I'd fear they'd tell their child off for which I thk would be cel.

It's difficult to fd rmatn specifilly for your suatn and I'm not suggtg that your son is gay or bi sexual, but have a look at this lk and maybe select the parts that are relevant. ] -gay-childI'm also sendg you the tails forFFLAG whichis a support service for iends and fay of gay people. Last night he told me some children had been llg him gay and he end up sayg " I suppose I probably am gay".

Like you I reassured him that is prob ab too early to start labellg himself and that his Dad and I will always love him and be there for him wether he is gay or not etc. Today my 13yr old sons teacher lled me to notify me that my son was gog around tellg kids his class that he thks he lik boys and he thks he might be gay. I have nothg agast gay or lbians and no matter what I will always love me son and expect him for who he is I jt don't know what I should do who to turn too on how to al wh this suatn.

GAY SON

I psed on our lol PBS affiliate, where a huge choir was sgg, and after a few sends I realized was the Gay Men's Chos of some cy or another dog a fundraisg ncert. At this time my life, I was 99 percent certa I was gay, though nowhere near ready to sprg on my parents.

We had no gay people our liv back then, no way to gge my fay's level of watched as they livered a rendn of what I remember as "Somewhere Over the Rabow, " bee eher they or my memory are unfivably basic.

Stirrg and brave and subversive, g as did a time before marriage equaly was on the map, a time when you only saw gay people on the news. It means one simple, pable thg: Once you have told your dad you're gay, there is no gog back.

HOMOPHOBIC HBAND NOT ACCEPTG GAY SON

I'd love to say that you should do a big, showy "Hey, I sure do like those gay people" at the dner table. Parents of gay children may be shocked when their kids e out of the closet, but once the dt settl, most parents realize that their child is the same one they have loved and red for all their liv, they jt happen to be gay.

And while parental acceptance is one hurdle for a gay child, there are many other issu facg gay kids and their parents. Issu for parents of gay kids as intified by Parents, Fai and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG), clu:1. Fay acceptance – n the rt of the fay accept the gay child as the parents of the gay child has.

GAY SON AND YOUNGER SIBLGS

Hate crim preventn – workg to prevent gay bashg and other forms of hate crim agast gay kids. Relatnship regnn – workg to achieve equal rights and regnn for gay relatnships as for heterosexual relatnships. Workplace fairns – supportg the gay child and any issu they face when enterg the workforce.

It may be that the child bucks tradnal genr stereotyp or they may not show attentn to the oppose sex; but are the signs of a gay child?

HAS ANYONE GOT A GAY SON?

Acrdg to some rearch, genr atypil behavr may, fact, be an ditor that the child may grow up to be gay.

MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?

So, for example, boys that play wh dolls and have primarily girliends or girls who are tomboys and prefer to play wh guns may have an creased likelihood of growg up to be gay. Another sign your child might be gay is if he is a male that choos more solary sports such as cyclg or swimmg.

There also appears to be a relatnship where the more a child shows genr-nonnformg characteristics, the greater the chance that they may grow up to be gay. While knowg your child is gay may help you ease the transn to adulthood, 's cril to remember that a gay child is jt a child like any other and a parent of gay child is jt a parent, like any other. Parents of gay kids mt e to accept and love their children for who they are and not bee of their sexualy.

Parents of gay kids n fd 200, 000 PFLAG supporters 350 chapters across the Uned Stat.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

PFLAG supports loved on of homosexuals by providg helpl, support group meetgs, tn and rourc. As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart.

Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No! San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask.

GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.

In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay.

Perhaps is not surprisg that mothers and their gay sons often scribe their relatnships as close. This was found to be te for many of the mothers and sons I terviewed for the study scribed the book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child ().

INTER SLAPS DOWN MOTHER OF GROOM'S WHE 'BRIDAL' DRS FOR SON'S GAY WEDDG

Neverthels, this closens uld have a downsi, at least temporarily, as many mothers ially blame themselv and the close relatnships for their sons' homosexualy. So, perhaps is not pletely surprisg that once they learned their sons were gay, some of the mothers I terviewed felt that they had done somethg to damage them.

The fact is that I am the mother and I was told growg up that men bee gay bee their mothers are too motherg.

I TRIED TO STOP MY SON FROM BEG GAY. I WISH I HADN'T

For a long time, the psychiatric profsn blamed overly close maternal relatnships for g the "disease" of male homosexualy. Even though rearch sce the 1950's has bunked , this theory persists people's mds and rears s ugly head for mothers when they ially learn their sons are gay. Fortunately, for many mothers of gay son—wh time and tn, they learn that the ia that they had somehow ma their son gay is ad wrong This was te of the mothers my study who also me to see the benefs havg a gay son as will be scribed later this post.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

My rearch, clil and personal experienc suggt that there is ed a al lk between male homosexualy and a close maternal relatnship but flows the oppose directn than what was prevly thought.

In other words, havg a close relatnship wh your mother don't make you gay—beg gay mak you closer to your mother. The young gay mal this study relled sharg terts mon wh their mothers, such as fashn and okg, and were also sensive to their feelgs.

‘WE ARE EXPECTED TO BE OK WH NOT HAVG CHILDREN’: HOW GAY PARENTHOOD THROUGH SURROGACY BEME A BATTLEGROUND

I thk personally [beg gay] ma me a more emotnal person, more sensive, more touch wh both the male and female sis of myself, but allowg me to even acknowledge that other si ma me closer to my mother. Once mothers this study got over their feelgs of guilt and got ed to the ia that their sons were gay, they were able to regnize the benefs of havg a gay son.

Closens between mothers and their gay sons is a stereotype and like all stereotyp, sometim they rg te. However, we get to hot water when we allow stereotyp to get the way of unrstandg the uniquens of dividuals and their circumstanc—so is important to remember that not all mothers and gay sons are close. Sadly, some mothers simply nnot adjt to their sons' homosexualy, due to their guilt, relig ncerns, or abily to "let go" and accept the ways they live their liv.

For sure, gay men, their mothers and those who assist them need to explore and unrstand the val relatnships. Wrg on Thursday, Febary 10, the groom's mother shared photos of a £450 ($610) Genevieve ffle gown and another Genevieve rose gown at the same mother, who went by the ername Kenworthgton, was keen to strs there was no bri to upstage as was a gay posted: "Before you all say don't be ridiculo, you'll look like the bri - there is no bri - 's a weddg. By now u probably have an ia of what i am about to I am gayRyan: i n’t believe i jt told youMom: Are you jokg?

MOTHERS’ SUPPORT GAVE GAY SON LOVE TO LAST A LIFETIME

Ryan: i know i amRyan: i don’t like hannahRyan: ’s jt a ver-upMom: but that don’t make you gay…Ryan: i knowRyan: but u don’t unrstandRyan: i am gayMom: tell me moreRyan: ’s jt the way i am and ’s somethg i knowRyan: u r not a lbian and u know that.

Ryan: i am jt gayRyan: i am thatMom: I love you no matter whatRyan: i am whe not blackRyan: i knowRyan: i am a boy not a girlRyan: i am attracted to boys not girlsRyan: u know that about yourself and i know thisMom: what about what God thks about actg on the sir? Not that we didn’t know and love gay people — my only brother had e out to several years before, and we adored him. He read all the Christian books that explaed where his gay feelgs me om and dove to unselg to further disver the orig of his unwanted attractn to other guys.

What we had wished, prayed and hoped for — that we would not have a gay son — me te. But not at all the way we had, when I thk back on the fear that erned all my reactns durg those first six years after Ryan told he was gay, I crge as I realize how foolish I was.