Gay "Sis": How Language Fre Us to be Ourselv | Psychology Today

Contents:

• I’M GAY AND I’M NOT A TOP OR A BOTTOM – I’M A ‘SI’
• GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV
• SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY
• WHICH EAR IS THE GAY EARRG? WHICH EAR IS THE STRAIGHT EAR?
• GAY

I’M GAY AND I’M NOT A TOP OR A BOTTOM – I’M A ‘SI’

A third add: “Personally I’m not crazy about the term ‘si’ (sounds to me like someone lyg there, dog not much) but ’s good that Grdr acknowledg that there’s more to gay sex than anal.

The gay datg app Grdr n seem like a mefield wh s extensive e of slang – here’s what terms like GEN, NPNC and si is the most popular LGBTQ datg app the world and a cemented part of gay culture. SiThe word “si” the ntext of Grdr, and gay culture more generally, refers to someone’s sexual preference. Acrdg to Urban Dictnary, a si is “a homosexual male who do not enjoy anal peratn (givg or receivg), but will engage other forms of same sex activy.

Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love. There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia. 'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife. The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage". The gay male datg app, Grdr, recently add the sexual preference I created beyond jt top, bottom, and vers when to gay men engagg terurse: "si.

SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"

That’s what happened 2013 when, an article I wrote for the Huffgton Post, “Guys on the Si, ” I created the term “si” for gay men who aren’t to beg a “top” or a “bottom” or practicg anal peratn.

The term “Si” was created when 2010, I was talkg wh some lleagu about “tops” (gay men who prefer the sertive role durg peratn) and “bottoms” (gay men who prefer the receptive role durg peratn) and outed myself for beg a gay man who don’t engage anal terurse at all.

Beg a “top, ” “bottom, ” or “vers” (short for "versatile, " or someone who uld go eher way) were the only acceptable mols the gay muny, and I felt dissed for not ftg to the mold.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY

About a year and a half ago I formed a Facebook group lled “Si Guys” and some of the guys the group started a petn to Grdr, the gay datg app, to add “si” to their list of preferred posns and filters. And now that Grdr has updated s settgs, gay men are addg as a sexual posn to their app self-intifyg as a si.

It’s been around forever—but we jt didn’t have a snappy term to scribe the gay muny. Back 2011, an article was published the Journal of Sexual Medice which rearchers surveyed 25, 000 gay and bisexual men Ameri about their most recent sexual enunters, and only 36 percent said they had bottomed, and 34 percent said they had topped.

Nearly 65 percent of gay and bisexual men didn’t have terurse as part of their most recent sexual experience at all. Furthermore, a si n be a gay male, a bisexual male, a pansexual male, or fall unr the ace umbrella (asexual male/graysexual male/misexual male, etc.

WHICH EAR IS THE GAY EARRG? WHICH EAR IS THE STRAIGHT EAR?

Dennis Fortenberry MD, MS Sexual Behavrs and Suatnal Characteristics of Most Recent Male-Partnered Sexual Event among Gay and Bisexually Intified Men the Uned Stat. When to sex, whether you’re gay, bi, or straight, we’ve all been a ltle brawashed to believg that there is this thg lled “normal. In the gay male muny, ually, you’re eher nsired to be a “top, ” the perator, or a “bottom, ” the perated, or you’re versatile (n go eher way).

But what if you’re a gay man who don’t enjoy anal sex or fds anal peratn paful, don’t like the feelg or the troublome amount of preparatn and cleang up need for to be a pleasurable experience, or simply don’t experience anal sex as erotic? That’s why a 2013 article I wrote for Huffgton Post, "Guys on the ‘Si’: Lookg Beyond Gay Tops and Bottoms, " I began workg on popularizg the term “si” orr for the gay men to have the language to exprs their sexual and erotic preference.

GAY

I’ve seen gay male clients who rry a load of shame about not likg or wantg to get or give anal sex. There are straight men who like havg anal sex and/or beg perated wh a dildo, and there are gay men who don’t.

Although Lbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, and Queer (LGBTQ+) people have been around for lennia, the evolutn of language means that those wh the muny ntue to fd more clive and accurate terms to bt scribe themselv, as Stonewall’s ever-evolvg glossary of terms prov. Aromantic people are also the ace tegory and, siarly to asexual people, may intify as gay, lbian, heterosexual, or queer to fe the directn of their attractn to others.

”Gay: The word “gay” is generally ed to scribe someone who is sexually or romantilly attracted to people of the same genr. Homosexual: This antiquated term was ed historilly to refer to people who were attracted to people of the same genr, but ’s rarely ed today.