How gay dads are raisg the bar for paterny leave

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Gay dads are unlikely to have accs to paid leave when welg a new member of the fay.

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HOW GAY DADS MANAGE WHOUT PAID PATERNY LEAVE

* gay dads paternity leave *

Whether your child arriv via birth, adoptn, surrogacy or foster re, the abily for a parent to take time off om work and vote undivid attentn to exclively beg mom or dad is cril to a child’s gnive, emotnal, and social velopment and many heterosexual parents, mothers have historilly taken materny leave om work to spend qualy time wh a new baby, and fathers are creasgly takg advantage of paterny leave to do the for parents who intify as LGBTQ+ (Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr and Queer), the journey to parenthood is often more plex, and navigatg parental leave as an LGBTQ+ parent n be ght wh unexpected hurdl. Take one study published the Journal of Social Policy, which found that gay fathers around the world receive ls paid parental leave than all other parents, cludg lbian upl and straight for LGBTQ+ parents when navigatg paid parental leaveLGBTQ+ parents often fd themselv navigatg nfg rporate polici and lol leave laws to terme whether or not they qualify for paid parental leave. Limed leave polici disproportnately impact gay dads and adoptive parents, argu Paid Leave for the Uned Stat, an anizatn phg for expand paid leave.

This mak the first weeks of parenthood for gay dads difficult — scramblg to fd time to settle a new son or dghter, securg and payg for child Wrights experienced what was like to wele a new member of the fay wh and whout paid leave. "Beyond accs to paid leave, gay dads face challeng straight upl don't, said Kenh Matos, who rearch work-life issu and is vice print at nsultg firm Life Meets Work.

HOW PARENTAL LEAVE POLICI ARE SHORT-CHANGG GAY DADS“THE POLICI THAT WE’RE SEEG THAT ARE STILL PLACE NTUE TO BE GENRED, AND THAT’S REALLY PROBLEMATIC.”{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}NEWSBY KRISTA MASICOCTOBER 4, 2017/5:34 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}GETTY IMAGCSIAN GAY UPLE CUDDLG BABY BOYBY KRISTA MASICOCTOBER 4, 2017 / 5:34 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"HOW PARENTAL LEAVE POLICI ARE SHORT-CHANGG GAY DADS","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2017-10-04T21:34:30.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2017-10-04T21:34:30.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"KRISTA MASIC","ARTICLESECTN":"NEWS"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHILE AMERIN BS HAVE MA STRIS IMPROVG PARENTAL-LEAVE POLICI, MANY STILL RERCE THE STEREOTYPE THAT PARENTG IS WOMAN'S WORK. THAT N LEAVE GAY MEN DIRE STRAS IF THEY CI TO START A {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MANY GAY DADS ARE FORCED TO E WORKAROUNDS—LIKE SAVG UP SICK TIME AND VATN DAYS, G UNPAID TIME OFF—TO RE FOR A NEW BABY. SURROGACY AND ADOPTN, THE UAL ROUT TO PARENTHOOD FOR GAY MEN, ARE EXPENSIVE, MEANG GAY FATHERS HAVE LS AVAILABLE E TO SUPPORT UNPAID TIME OFF.GETTY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“THE TRANSN OF PARENTHOOD N LOOK REALLY, REALLY DIFFERENT FOR [GAY DADS],” ABBIE GOLDBERG, A PSYCHOLOGY PROFSOR AT CLARK UNIVERSY TELLS THE CHIGO TRIBUNE. “THE POLICI THAT WE’RE SEEG THAT ARE STILL PLACE NTUE TO BE GENRED, AND THAT’S REALLY PROBLEMATIC.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE ADOPTN PROCS IS UNPREDICTABLE, MAKG DIFFICULT TO PLAN AHEAD WH EMPLOYERS. AND GAY DADS ARE MORE LIKELY TO ADOPT OLR KIDS, WHO MAY NEED AS MUCH TIME FOR PARENTAL BONDG AS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"THERE'S TST ISSU, OR SOMEONE'S BEEN HOPPG AROUND OM FOSTER HOME TO FOSTER HOME," LGBT PARENTG EXPERT ERIC ROSSWOOD TELLS THE TRIBUNE. "THEY MAY BE THKG, 'I'M NOT GOG TO BE HERE FOR VERY LONG UNTIL I GO ON TO THE NEXT HOME.'"{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}GAY DADS, BOTH SOLO AND UPLED, ARE MAKG DO. BUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THEY HAVE A LOT FEWER OF THE ROURC AVAILABLE TO OTHER PARENTS—PECIALLY IF THEIR FAI AREN'T SUPPORTIVE. (GRANDPARENTS AND OTHER RELATIV ARE OFTEN A MAJOR PART OF NEW PARENTS' SUPPORT SYSTEM.){BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"EVEN WHEN PATERNY LEAVE OR NON-GENRED LEAVE POLICI ARE AVAILABLE, SOMETIM THEY'RE JT THERE AS A FORMALY," HOLNG L, PROFSOR OF LAW AT THE UNIVERSY OF NORTH CAROLA, TELLS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}L'S REARCH FOC ON HOW PUBLIC POLICY AND SOCIAL NORMS DISURAGE FATHERS OM BEG HANDS-ON {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"SOMETIM PARENTAL LEAVE IS TECHNILLY AVAILABLE BUT, FOR MEN PECIALLY, ISN'T EASY TO TAKE WHOUT BEG LOOKED DOWN UPON BY OTHERS THE OFFICE, CLUDG SUPERVISORS," HE SAYS. LIKE WOMEN, MEN WHO DO TAKE PARENTAL LEAVE FACE NEGATIVE REER NSEQUENC, WHICH MAY BE A REASON WHY PLAC WH PATERNY LEAVE OFTEN SEE LOW PARTICIPATN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN L'S ADOPTED DGHTER WAS BORN THREE-AND-A-HALF-YEARS AGO, UNC PROVID A FULL SEMTER OFF FOR PARENTAL LEAVE. HE WAS ALSO ABLE TO TAKE ANOTHER SEMTER OF REARCH LEAVE. AT THE TIME, HIS HBAND'S EMPLOYER DIDN'T OFFER ANY FORM OF PAID PARENTAL LEAVE TO DADS, SO L'S GENERO POLICY WAS A GODSEND. HOLNG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"I WAS SO FORTUNATE TO BE ABLE TO STAY HOME WH MY DGHTER," HE SAYS. "THAT TIME WH HER WAS SO SPECIAL AND WONRFUL FOR ME — WAS JT PARABLE. IT WAS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THE BT THGS I'VE EVER DONE, AND I WOULDN’T TRA THAT TIME FOR ANYTHG THE WORLD."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN SOME S, GENR-SPECIFIC LEAVE POLICI ARE VLATN OF FERAL LAW, AND THERE HAVE BEEN SUCCSFUL LAWSUS THAT HAVE CHANGED {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"IT’S LEGAL FOR AN EMPLOYER TO TREAT MEN AND WOMEN DIFFERENTLY IF 'S BASED ON MEDILLY REVERG OM PREGNANCY AND CHILDBIRTH," L EXPLAS. "BUT IF EMPLOYER IS GIVG WOMEN ADDNAL LEAVE THAT CLUS TIME FOR CHILDRE AND BONDG, THEY MT OFFER THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME TO MEN OR THEY'RE VLATN OF TLE VII OF THE CIVIL RIGHTS ACT."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}UNR THE 1993 FAY MEDIL LEAVE ACT, WORKERS ARE ENTLED TO UP TO 12 WEEKS OF JOB-PROTECTED, UNPAID LEAVE. BUT 40% OF U.S. WORKERS DON'T MEET THE REQUIREMENTS FOR FMLA. AND MANY WHO DO N'T AFFORD TO TAKE UNPAID TIME OFF.GETTY IMAGCSIAN GAY FATHERS AND BABY RELAXG LIVG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ONLY FOUR STAT—CALIFORNIA, RHO ISLAND, NEW JERSEY, AND NEW YORK—HAVE SOME FORM OF MANDATORY PATERNY LEAVE PLACE, AND ONLY 12% OF PRIVATE SECTOR U.S. WORKERS GET PAID FAY LEAVE THROUGH THEIR EMPLOYERS, ACRDG TO THE DEPARTMENT OF LABOR. OF THOSE PANI, JT A ACTN OFFER PATERNY LEAVE—AND ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE EQUENTLY LEFT OUT OF THE EQUATN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}LS THAN HALF OF LGBT AMERINS WHOSE EMPLOYERS DO HAVE PARENTAL LEAVE POLICI SAY THEY'RE EQUALLY CLIVE OF CHILDBIRTH, ADOPTN, OR FOSTER RE, ACRDG TO HRC'S 2018 LGBTQ PAID LEAVE SURVEY. THE SAME SURVEY ALSO FOUND THAT ONLY 45% OF LGBT WORKERS REPORT HAVG ACCS TO PARENTAL LEAVE POLICI (PAID OR UNPAID) THAT ARE CLIVE OF SAME-SEX PARENTS, AND THAT THEY REPORT HEIGHTENED NCERNS ABOUT TAKG ADVANTAGE OF PARENTAL POLICI, CG POTENTIAL LOSS OF E AND ADVERSE WORKPLACE OUT OM HAVG TO DISCLOSE THEIR INTI THROUGH LEAVE REQUTS. AS A RULT, LGBT PARENTS ARE MORE LIKELY TO FOREGO PARENTAL LEAVE EVEN WHEN IS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN WHO THEY ARE, THE PEOPLE THEY LOVE AND THE JOB THEY NEED,” SAYS MARY BETH MAXWELL, HRC’S SENR VICE PRINT FOR PROGRAMS, REARCH, AND TRAG. “THE SURVEY RULTS UNRSRE THE URGENT NEED FOR PAID AND CLIVE LEAVE POLICI FOR LGBTQ WORKERS OF ALL AG AND EVERY FIELD.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NON-GENRED PARENTAL LEAVE POLICI ARE CRIL NOT ONLY FOR LGBT PARENTS, BUT ALL PARENTS—AND FOR ALL THE KIDS THIS UNTRY WHO ARE SPERATELY NEED OF HOM. LGBT FAI CLU AN TIMATED 22,000 ADOPTED CHILDREN AND 3,400 FOSTER KIDS. SAME-SEX UPL ARE FOUR TIM MORE LIKELY TO BE RAISG AN ADOPTED CHILD THAN STRAIGHT UPL, AND SIX TIM MORE LIKELY TO BE RAISG FOSTER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AT LEAST 84 UNTRI NOW OFFER PAID PATERNY LEAVE ADDN TO MATERNY LEAVE, BUT THE U.S. REMAS THE ONLY DTRIALIZED NATN WHOUT ANY FORM OF LEGALLY MANDATED PAID FAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"GAY DADS ARE UNIQUELY AFFECTED BY THIS," SAYS L. "BUT GENR STEREOTYP THAT SAY WOMEN ARE BETTER SUED TO BE REGIVERS BOTH OUR CULTURE AND OUR PARENTAL LEAVE POLICI ARE TRIMENTAL TO ALL MEN, WOMEN AND FAI THE U.S."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

"Limed paterny leave pecially burns gay dads adoptg olr children, who have an acute need for acclimatn and bondg. "Even the procs of securg paterny leave n be lite for gay dads.

Profsnal nversatns quickly bee personal, and not all employers support gay the plexi are why Rosswood, 37, penned the new book "The Ultimate Gui for Gay Dads: Everythg You Need to Know About LGBTQ Parentg But Are (Mostly) Aaid to Ask.

HOW GAY DADS ARE RAISG THE BAR FOR PATERNY LEAVE

(Eric Rosswood)Dpe the unique obstacl, Rosswood said, many gay dads arrive at parenthood credibly prepared.

They waed, part, to secure fancial stabily and flexibily, but also bee neher grew up wh mols for gay parenthood. That n leave gay men dire stras if they ci to start a gay dads are forced to e workarounds—like savg up sick time and vatn days, g unpaid time off—to re for a new baby. Surrogacy and adoptn, the ual rout to parenthood for gay men, are expensive, meang gay fathers have ls available e to support unpaid time off.

“The transn of parenthood n look really, really different for [gay dads], ” Abbie Goldberg, a psychology profsor at Clark Universy tells the Chigo Tribune. And gay dads are more likely to adopt olr kids, who may need as much time for parental bondg as fants. '"Gay dads, both solo and upled, are makg do.

QUORA: HOW SHOULD PATERNY LEAVE BE ARRANGED FOR A GAY MAN WH AN ADOPTED CHILD?

"Gay dads are uniquely affected by this, " says L. Rafael Caldas don’t have children yet, but feels optimistic about a future where both his reer and inty as a gay father won’t be fed by genr norms. But as a gay man who wants a fay, Caldas knew he had to play a role ensurg he would have the parental leave benefs that would otherwise surpass him.

Caldas is one of a new generatn of gay dads and dads to be seekg to rewre the genred narrative around parental leave, which se same-sex male parents receive on average 22 fewer weeks of paid leave than heterosexual upl.

PATERNY LEAVE FOR GAY COUPL: SHOULD WE DO IT TOGETHER OR SEPARATELY?

Should a gay uple be asked to specify which of them will be the primary day rer for the child and that person be given 'materny' leave (unr another name) while the other only gets 'paterny' leave? All fathers, gay or not, are the same suatn. Both men and women, gay and straight, are eligible for the same amount of FMLA leave when a new child jos their hoehold, be a blogil, adopted, or foster child.

In this latt parentg rource post, we reflect on a topic that’s very near and ar to — paterny leave for gay upl.

HOW GAY DADS MANAGE WHOUT PAID PATERNY LEAVE

Paterny Leave For Gay Coupl: Should We Do It Together?

This effect was strongt among men who had adverse childhood experienc, suggtg that extra ntact wh fants was pecially transformative for men at greatt risk of bondg a rare study to look at fathers same-sex relatnships, Israeli rearchers found that “primary regiver” fathers gay male upl showed bra rpons to their fants that looked more like mothers’ than like “sendary regiver” dads’, and time voted to child re shaped their this suggts that fathers are ma, not born: Time wh fants is a key gredient buildg the fatherg bra.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY DADS PATERNITY LEAVE

How gay dads manage whout paid paterny leave |.

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