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For many gay men, social media and datg apps are hotbeds of body image stggl and risg toxic masculy – the recent ‘10-year-challenge’ on Instagram shows this femmephobia.

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It’s tak a lot of urage to say that which is bizarre bee ’s sentially ex-gay. John Hopks closed their trans un 40 years ago bee was flood wh gay men who didn’t want to be gay.

They make a sh ton more money off the trans stuff than they do they ex-gay stuff. The e of she/her pronouns by cisgenr gay men, along wh words such as "girl" or "honey, " is a long-standg and creasgly visible practice.

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For many gay men, g the words wh their iends is a way of embracg femy and showg vulnerabily or affectn to others who share their inti. Creatg a shared culture — cludg language — around femy n be a way of reclaimg the bas for opprsn many gay men have experienced, as well as disptg the harmful genr few if any lguistic practic are all one thg, all the time. It may be time to reevaluate cis gay men’s e of words like "she" and "girl" to make sure they align wh ongog efforts to rpect nonbary genr inti, and avoid makg assumptns about people’s pronouns.

Lguists, social scientists, and crics have observed and studied cis gay men’s e of “she, ” and their asssments pot to the multiple and often nflictg dimensns of the practice. So for even to make sense for gay men to e ‘she, ’ we have to have some kd of associatn wh ‘she, ’ and ually that associatn is femy, whatever that might mean to or our culture.

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